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  #1  
Old 11-07-2008, 10:01 AM
ScaredDiva ScaredDiva is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

Ok, I have been with this wonderful man since Aug. 2007. He's been married twice. As of right now he doesn't want to get married. I do want to get married. What do I do? He is the sweetest man I've ever been with and he is definitely a catch.
Now I know a lot of you will say "oh he's been married twice, bad choice." Here is the reason why he has been married twice...
Wife #1 smoked a lot of pot, (knowing he was in the military and that's a big no no) and then cheated on him and had a baby. She tried to say it was his, but it was someone else's. He is caucasian and so is she. So why is that kid ASIAN!!!!
Wife #2 Was a massive coke head and cheated on him with her ex-husband.
I feel like because of the two whores he was married to, it is messing it up for me. What should I do? I'm scared to talk to him about marriage but it's going to bother me. That's why I need help. I've tried asking my friends but they don't know what to say. I figure some strangers may be able to help me out better.
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  #2  
Old 11-07-2008, 10:20 AM
Christie Christie is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

ask him to marry you dont wait for him to ask you
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  #3  
Old 11-07-2008, 10:39 AM
punxsutawneyphil8415 punxsutawneyphil8415 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

You should find someone else. Sure the exs were losers, but he chose them. That has to say something about his mind.
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  #4  
Old 11-07-2008, 10:59 AM
caneriverprincess7204 caneriverprincess7204 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

RED FLAGS- both his ex wives have severe problems (according to him). What's up with his selection process or is he the type to seriously distort the truth. I would be in less of a rush to marry him myself and more observant of HIS habits and behaviors. That being said it IS alittle early but if you feel you're ready for more committment- TELL him and see if he cares enough about you to compromise (say with a prmise ring or something). Otherwise consider playing it cool 6 months longer if you can stand it and then WALK. Good luck.
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  #5  
Old 11-07-2008, 11:18 AM
elegantartwork0148 elegantartwork0148 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

You're not "needy" and sick enough for him. He loves women that he thinks he can help or fix.
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  #6  
Old 11-07-2008, 11:37 AM
TaintedHeart4845 TaintedHeart4845 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

As of right now he doesn't want to get married....but that doesn't mean he never wants to. You only have two choices....either wait for him or move on. If you love him and he loves you then just be patient...it'll happen. I wouldn't keep mentioning it because you will drive him away.
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  #7  
Old 11-07-2008, 11:57 AM
ElSantos0112 ElSantos0112 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

You find someone else who will marry you. That or wait several years.
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  #8  
Old 11-07-2008, 12:16 PM
RetroBunny69 RetroBunny69 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

the previous 2 wives are chosen by him...doesn't that tell you something?
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  #9  
Old 11-07-2008, 12:35 PM
NenaS7918 NenaS7918 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

You will have to be very honest..both to him and to yourself.

Unfortunately, this man has had two very bad experiences...So you really cannot blame him for feeling scared of getting married again!

Whether you like it or not, the fact is his subconscious is going to make him doubt you..and you will be evaluated and judged by what the other women did to him. Not fair, but true anyhow.

He will have to think things over and see if he can trust you or not. And that will take time. Are you willing to give it to him or not? I'm not saying spend the next 10 years waiting for him to make up his mind; I'm saying set a time limit- and respect it. For example, give the relationship a year..and if he has not said anything by then, then you can consider ending it.

But be fair...and tell him how you feel. After all, the idea of being with someone in a relationship is so both people in it will be happy together.
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  #10  
Old 11-07-2008, 12:55 PM
ladyren4639 ladyren4639 is offline
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Default My boyfriend is scared of marriage, I'm afraid he may never ask me to marry him. What do I do?

Be careful what you ask for. He says he doesn't wish to marry again. Believe him.

And honey if he says, that after two, he doesn't wish to again marry, do indeedy believe him.

And if marriage is what YOU want, move on. If it is the deal buster, this guy ain't interested. He isn't interested in marriage because he doesn't trust his own judgment... and in his place, I wouldn't trust mine either!!!!!!!!

So, sweetie, you take him as he is, or opt out.... sorta your choice.
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