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  #1  
Old 10-27-2008, 10:44 PM
HurtConfused HurtConfused is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Husband has said for almost 3 yrs he has "no sex drive" and/or "can't get it up" and that it bothers him. Apparently not enough to go to the doctor about it, tho. He is 48 and I'm 50, empty nesters, and have been together for 10 years. For the last 5 years or so, I've suspected he was cheating on me. I've found e-mails, IMs, and adult "social" sites that he's visited and signed up for. He's always got females he calls and who call him that are "friends"; however, some of them he sneaks to see. Whenever I found out about it and asked why he felt he had to visit them without me around, the excuse was that it was the only time he could visit them. He's a truck driver and is on the road during the week. In 2006, I found out he was "friends" with a hooker and was then going out of route, by anywhere from one to three hours, to see a woman who worked in a restaurant that he "felt sorry for". To fast forward to today, he's been trying to get a young friend of ours to "hook" him up with her various friends. He's also got a regular run now and calls a particular woman in the wee hours of the morning, and these calls are always when he gets to his destination. Again, it's "just a friend". Basically, boiling this all down, there's always a new woman friend and we have had no sexual contact (barely any contact at all, really) since Feb. 06. I've been totally faithful to him, but quite frankly, I'm tired of the games. I guess I've been waiting for definitive proof, but deep down, I believe he's been cheating the whole time. Am I just being paranoid?
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  #2  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:03 PM
Carlita1611 Carlita1611 is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

No, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist here...He's cheating
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  #3  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:21 PM
TRISHMATT8450 TRISHMATT8450 is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

I feel that he is cheating. He has admitted it in my eyes.
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  #4  
Old 10-27-2008, 11:40 PM
Missy236181 Missy236181 is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Loser! Cheating. move on!
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Old 10-27-2008, 11:58 PM
Demi Demi is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

I agree with Carlita... its kinda obvious he's screwing around on you. Oh and you mentioned him hanging out with hookers, I would get checked out!
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  #6  
Old 10-28-2008, 12:17 AM
MorganL MorganL is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

Sweetie this is what you do tell him that you guys either have sex or get a divorce. Men want sex and if he isn't sleeping with you then um its time to have a little fun for your self. You can put a parent control thing on your computer which lets you see what he's doing. Email me back so we can talk.
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  #7  
Old 10-28-2008, 12:35 AM
MrsRockstar MrsRockstar is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

doesnt sound good. Thats no way a marriage should be. Something is going on and you know it. Dont let him hurt you anymore.
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  #8  
Old 10-28-2008, 12:54 AM
sweetheart sweetheart is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

maybe you both should take the time out and have a one on one talk so the situation will not get worst. I think that since you both are married you should ask him and see what is the problem and what do you have to do to make it work out better. I think if this situation gets worse you both should go to marriage counseling or it can lead to a bad situation like a divorce.
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  #9  
Old 10-28-2008, 01:12 AM
NenaS4577 NenaS4577 is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?


Top 9 signs your spouse is cheating

You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can?t quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation.
You suspect there may be someone else but every time you bring it up with your spouse, he/she denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don?t have any proof.

So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don?t confuse signs with proof.

1. "I'm not in love with you anymore."

If you hear these words, a big warning bell should go off. This is one of the most consistent things a cheating spouse will say. Your spouse may have a deep, loving bond with you but, intense feelings of passion can override the bond with you and cause your spouse to loose sight of his/her true feelings. The cheating spouse will develop what I call hormone - induced amnesia. The surging hormones and passion they feel in their new relationship can cause some very skewed thinking.

2. ?We are just friends.?

This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new ?friend? then there is probably more to it than mere friendship. Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it?s a big warning sign and one you should take seriously.

3. A sudden need for privacy.

If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. He/she may start password protecting computer activity. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse. Big warning sign!

4. ?I need some space to figure my feelings for you.?

Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom.

5. Regular work habits change.

Working late, going to work at odd hours or, putting in more time than is normal on work related issues can be indications that a spouse is cheating.

6. Spending a large amount of time on the computer.

In today?s world, with modern technology, a person looking for an affair doesn?t even have to leave their home. The ease of internet chat rooms, online dating sites and secret email accounts has caused an alarming increase in emotional affairs.
If your spouse is online more than usual, hanging out in chat rooms and visiting pornographic websites then you have reason to be alarmed.


7. Secretive phone calls and more time spent on the phone.

Emotional affairs occur primarily via the phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to check your phone records.

8. Behavior that just doesn?t add up.

Not being where he/she was expected to be. Missing time they can?t explain. Money that isn?t accounted for. Receipts for things you don't have. Missing clothing. Clothing that does not belong to your family. Being caught in little lies about the details of the day.

9. Your Own fears and suspicions

If you find yourself looking for excuses for your spouse's behavior or trying to convince yourself that they would never cheat then that is a warning sign. Your intuition is frequently one of the best indicators that something is wrong.
If you suspect your spouse might be cheating on you, do some investigating and then confront him or her with what you've found.

Do it in a way that is calm and courteous. Ask for honesty. Be prepared for lies. It is a sad fact that people having affairs become excellent liars. People who never told a lie before in their lives.

Trust your gut instinct but get hard, cold proof also.

Related Articles
Warning Signs of Cheating SpousesCheating Spouse - Spying on a Cheating SpouseCheating - How Do I Know My Spouse Is CheatingWarning Signs of an Emotional AffairIs Negativity Hurting Your Marriage?

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  #10  
Old 10-28-2008, 01:31 AM
makeme makeme is offline
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Default Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

CHEATING, CHEATING and more CHEATING!!! Be Thankful that you have not had contact with him, he is probably got some nasty std lurking now. you need to let him go and move on.
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