why am i feeling so insecured?

[steffy]

I dont know why i feel so depressed and insecured when my husband is away,he cheated on me a few days back,which was not a big issue,i just caught him talking to a girl whom he never met .she used to send her text messages nothing serious but he was hiding all that from me.he apologised me for all that,now he is out of city for 3 days for work and i am restless,why i not trusting him any more?it is very disturbing for both of us.I had full faith in him before that stupid incident, now my mind tells me not to trust anybody blindly anymore.

[DJ6307]

You're feeling insecure because even though he may not have had sex with another woman, he was unfaithful to you. It would stand to reason that if he allowed that kind of contact with another female (and you were oblivious to it) you'd wonder what else he is doing or may do in the future that he might attempt to hide. Will he know where to draw the line, will he be strong enough to draw the line or will he even want to?When you say that he cheated on you and it "was not a big issue," you are fooling yourself. The concerns of your heart are valid concerns; don't ignore them. The trust between the two of you has been damaged (that's serious!), and a part of you will likely always feel suspicious.

[MeAgainValerieX3065]

Texting a girl he has never met?That makes ZERO sense.Ponder that thought for another moment. It makes NO SENSE. He is only admiting what he has to- because there is proof...he wont admit to anything else he is a liar, and a lousy one at that!

[livingthe30s4970]

Just remember that if you are living like that, is because you have chosen that kind of life and not a different one. If you think that's what you deserve, just stay as you are, and don't change a thing.See what you wrote: "on me a few days back,which was not a big issue", was not a big issue, then why would you worry of what's going on out there?. Relax, and just enjoy life as it comes, just in the way you are allowing that to happen in your life.Some people think they deserve better than that, they respect themseles and that's a no-no situation, others just let it happen which would be your choice, and will be respected. Also know, the respect for you from that person it's completely gone, and be ready to hear or find more bad news about this issue, get used to that situation, and try to be happy, or just leave if you don't want to deal with that.

[Master]

Because she went "out of town" with him!!!

[karamell08]

Firstly, ALWAYS follow your intuition. Secondly, if it wasn't a big deal, you wouldn't be trippin' which you are. Maybe you should find someone that doesn't make you feel insecure...he was lying to you, point blank. Phone or person, who knows...maybe the phone conversation was to get all the arrangements for his trip taken care of so she can pick up from the airport and screw him while you are sitting at home...wishing upon a star.

[Deline]

If it smells like **** then it is... You feel insecure because you have been hurt. Its natural, talk to him and air your concerns.

[johns9913]

Just like to say that him cheating on you is a huge issue to u for if it was not you would not be looking for answers in here. Dump the loser and get a divorce obviously he is not holding to the vows he made before god and you.

[DonnaW]

Unfortunately your trust was ruined by that incident. And as much as you want to have faith in him again it just isn't happening for you. You can let the fear and thoughts eat you up or you can try to keep yourself busy while he is out of town. He will have to earn your trust back it isn't something that can just go back the way it was with a snap of the fingers. And if you really feel that he won't do anything then keep telling yourself that you shouldn't worry. But if you do feel like you have to worry distract yourself until he gets home. If you let your mind wonder he could come home to accusations and that will not help with this situation. Just go out and occupy yourself with activities and when he get home try to work through all of this. What ever you do don't accuse him of anything if you don't have proof.

[joker]

YAou have learnt an invaluable lesson.Never trust any one blindly.Be reserved.If you dont trust him,divorce him.Discuss freely with him about your fears before that and ask him the reasons.