What's wrong with my husband, why does he lie?

[beatas]

MY HUSBAND HAS LIED WAY TOO MANY TIMES, NEVER CHEATED THOUGH (I HOPE) IT'S JUST STUPID LIES, LIKE HOW MUCH HE PAID FOR SOMETHING, OR EVEN WHEN HE WAS GOING ON PORN SITES HE'S LIE ABOUT IT, THEN HE'D ADMIT TO IT, HE SWORE HE WOULD NEVER DO IT AGAIN, THEN I CATCH HIM AGAIN HE TOLD ME HE DIDN'T GO ON THE PORN SITES, HE EVEN SWORE ON HIS KIDS LIFES, LITTLE DID HE KNOW I SET UP A RECORDER ON HIS COMPUTER AND TOLD HIM THAT I ALREADY KNEW WHAT HE DID THAT THERE WAS NO REASON TO SWEAR ON KIDS LIFES, HOW DO U DEAL WITH THAT? I KNOW HE LOVES OUR KIDS, WHY LIE ABOUT THAT? I NEVER GAVE HIM A HARD TIME IF HE DID WANT TO GO ON A PORN SITE, HE'S JUST SO EMBARASSED ABOUT IT, DON'T KNOW WHY. I EVEN SUGGESTED TO HIM COUPLE TIMES THAT WE CAN DO THAT TOGETHER I DON'T MIND, BUT HE'D GET UPSET AND SAY NO. WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER 11 YEARS, SINCE HS, 3 KIDS, BEAUTIFUL FAMILY, BUT WHY LIE ABOUT STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT AND SWEAR ON SOMEONE U LOVE. ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLANATION ON THIS? APPRECIATE ALL UR HELP GUYS!

[Zaferus]

Holy caps lock Batman!!!

[NiCkAy7020]

they like to feel big and bad i guess.

[primalclaws19741539]

first off, are the CAPS necessary? Anyway, my mom's ex-husband lied for almost no reason, but his was usually to make himself look better. You pretty much nailed it on the head, he's embarressed but can't stop.

[Shelby]

Men are liars, they just lie about stupid shit, I swear! And porn, oh that is rule number 1 to lie about!

[macsareeback]

You create fear, you don't communicate well. You are pushin away

[Faith4067]

All I can tell you is that my husband lies about it too. We have gotten into numerous arguments about it. The porn became a problem when it started affecting our sex life and how he treated me. All intimacy was gone and we were hardly ever having sex but he was looking at porn every day. He of course would lie about it and try to hide it but I always found out. Not the mention the times that I have got up in the middle of the night and caught him. All the lying, sneaking and getting so defensive caused us some problems and it really affected my self esteem. Especially when he would look at it when I was at home. I didn't understand why he'd be doing that while I was there, willing and ready. I told him how I feel and he always tells me it's not about me, that all guys do it. Well that may be true, but not all men are addicted to it. If it affects your marriage and your sex life then it is a problem. We are still trying to work through it. Right now we've made a compromise that he won't look at it while I am at home. I would prefer him not to look at it all, but until he see's he has a problem nothing will change. I just keep praying for my husband and our marriage!

[Lunaeclipz2752]

Shouting! he has problems!

[DebbieV]

I have been dealing with the same problems. My husband and i have been married for 8 years every time thing seems to be going good then i realize hes lying always about something stupid. We also have the same porn problem lies about it he tray's to hide it but i always find out, I also told him we could watch it together which we did a few times i thought great that was the end of that problem, nope one week we went away i was in the hotel went on his lap top to find out we was going to chat rooms i was very upset. Then a few hours later i went threw his wallet and found a card for a strip club. he said he didn't go because he didn't want to spend his money.I was ready to leave him but i have three kids with this man and i really love him, he finally told me he has a problem so i can only try to understand but if happens again that means he not going to change and once i had all i can deal with I'll end up leaving, but i believe the hardest part is behind us now, hes finally getting help. He told me the reason that he hide it was because he was told it was wrong when he was a child and at church they also tell you its wrong. Good luckplease just remember its not your fault.