how do I know that I am enough for my husband?

[Deb4304]

I have been married for 11 years to my second husband. We have always had a great marriage. I recently found out that my husband was talking online to a woman in a foreign country. She sent him 35 pics of herself and in her emails she professed to be falling in love with him. I found her emails and her pics when my husband asked me to look something up on his laptop, he was out of town. The problem is he did not save his replies to her and I do not know if the sent pics of himself. I confronted him on this and he said he was corresponding with her about 6 months ago and when it got out of hand he stopped it.It's true there are no more emails saved after May 2007. He has said that he is sorry and that it was a stupid thing to do, but I am worried it could happen again and even escalate. I know that I am acting insecure but I am vey vunerable right now. My first husband cheated on me and left me for is girfriend after we had been married for 11 years. I feel like this is dejavu in a way.

[Nikki5358]

Well the first step is admitting it, and he did. Ask him if there is anything you can do to show him that he doesn't need any other woman. I'm sorry your ex cheated on you. It doesn't feel good. If he isn't getting anymore e-mails then just take his word until you have proof or you will make yourself crazy. Good luck!

[wantsshy9822]

You need to start by being enough for yourself... not your husband. Take a look in the mirror, do you like what you see? If not, change it... Work out, eat better, take vitamins, get your hair/nails/make-up done look better and you will feel better. Take care of yourself. Do you work? Are you educated? Do you give back to your community? Do you help those in need? If not, then get started. Have passion for things ( other than your marriage ) Salsa dancing, horseback riding, fencing, the gym, whatever. Read books, stay well informed on current events and politics. Be the kind of woman you admire and others ( husband included ) will admire you tooOnce you realize you are valuable ( and once you truly make yourself valuable ) you will not have these insecurities... Then if the worst does happen you can look back at this husband of yours and think "What an idiot, he's never going to find a woman as smart, beautiful, accomplished, kind, and interesting as me" But you seriously reduce your odds of that happening if you get it together now.You cannot control or change another person, but you have ultimate power over your own life and who you are... Don't waste another moment worrying about someone you cannot control ( even if it is your husband ) work on yourself instead

[diamond_kursed]

Is she hot? Can I see the photos?

[Marcie5734]

I am so sorry that you were triggered to re-live your past pain. What your current husband did was stupid... I sure don't know what he will do in the future. I do know that if he chooses to act out in the future it is not because "you are not enough" .... it is because he has chosen to behave poorly.We women always think that a man will behave well if we do this right or act right or are sweet enough etc etc... the fact is, we can not control another person or their choices.All I can do is look in the mirror and decide if I am happy with myself and my choices, standards, love, consideration, etc.

[i_b_winkn_at_u2928]

Well he is getting something from talking to other women on the Internet....seek counseling....

[Roko6436]

well it seems most men can't keep it in their pants for long, I know there are exceptions and koodos to the men who are saints or who aren't repeat offenders...but we know this is the minority these daysIt seems the only thing a woman can count on these days is herself and maybve her pocketrocket or hibatchiok that said, sit down with your husband at a good time and say dear, level with me. We've been together 11 years and I'm sure you have the 7 year itch long ago. The honeymoon phase is over and routine gets old.Tell me baby, what can I do to bring the magic back. Like see if you let yourself go, then lose weight and get the body tight in a gym.I hate to tel you, but even if he was just having an emotional affair, it's exciting. I will say though, lots of overseas guys/gals will seduce your Western man in hopes of him divorcing and given them citizenship in the USA through his new marriage to him and then they milk him if he got money or leave him for even better.Get yourself in shape the best you can, I don't care join LA weightloss, ask Dr. for a program..start looking at latest fashions, etc and emulate it!*But get real and start getting some nasty pornos to watch with your man and have the lights dim, candles, lube whatever on your clean, waxed body.A girl often tried to make a guy monogamous, but lets face it, programmed or not, we like variety. So rather than fight it, don't be a doormat and let him cheat, but let him have that variety by seeing mags or DVDs with you, AND MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THAT BOD NICE AND LUBED, and he won't have to go far for this release.Our society is so sexed up so be willing to try to save him of his vow to you.Agree with him, sincerely, that in this day and age, it's hard to stay faithful to even a balanced diet when you have so many fast food and restaurants available and put in your face, so ask him to work with you.Now this next part is hard, but ask him, if he wants out and be prepared, because if he can't be honest, he'll do what I once did to my girl, I just left w/ everything when she was at work.It was like emotional murder. I came back but warned her, so she's looking for a job and a beau and so we can have a win-win, I wait a bit.