Is my husband cheating on me?

[mypiglet99]

My husband has been going out on friday and saturday nights after work not even telling me he is going and then not coming home till 2 or 3 in the morning. When he doesn't come home from work I call his cell phone and he does not answer. He acts like I am over reacting when he does come home cause I am all worried and wondering if he is ok. When I ask where he's been he tells me just out but will not tell where or who he was with. He has also been changing how he dresses and worries more about his looks. Please help!

[DJM8294]

get yourself a private investigator and tail him

[NotGuilty]

Yes, I was having the same problem with my ex wife. One night when she didn't come home I went to every bar in town looking for her cause the last time that happened she said she went to the bar after work with her friends. When she got home at 2:00 am I asked her where she was she told me what bar she was at and I said that's funny because I went to that bar and you weren't there. The gig was up and she new it. I told her to leave right then and there, we divorced and I haven't see her since. that was over 10 years ago. I never regretted divorcing her and it was also he easiest break up I've ever had. Ican't harbor any feelings for someone who commits the ultimate betrayal.

[whogivesashit]

I agree with DJ M. He's cheating big time! maybe you should do the same thing to him - go out on weekends and don't tell him where you're going or whatever - lets see how that hits him.

[bluesingroove3410]

cheating? maybe, maybe not. you're right to be suspicious. (who the hell are these people to say he definitely is?) It DOES look that way, but i don't know him. (the DJ M answer WILL probably clear it up for you, but that's not a cheap way of finding out.) you can drop in on him, too. are you tied to the house? do some investigating on your own....and check his cell phone bill....notate all 'questionable' numbers. if the bill clears, start taking his change from him in order to 'sure up some of the extra money' laying around.....see if he cares...see if he has any needs for extra quarters/nickels/dimes. sometimes cheaters work exclusively with pay phones. check for calling cards....all this stuff, you can do. i usually don't tell people to go investigating, but this case sounds REALLY suspicious. It could be that he is going through something that alot of guys go through in their 30s...kind of a 'pre mid-life crisis.' i know i have moments where i care about the way i look WAY more than i ever did before....it's the "not being a guy/being a MAN" thing.....he could be out planning an elaborate christmas/hannukah gift for you! so, cheating? maybe. but disrespectful of you? definitely. you have to address that. it's part of a married person's commitment to be in contact...to not be AWOL. that's not fair. i know i can't stand the whole "she has to know where i am all the time" thing sometimes, but it's part of the deal....and i can't be backing out on that part. you are knee-deep in some trust issues and some functional relationship problems if he's refusing to tell you where he is and when he's coming home. you're not his mother, but the truth is: he should have already grown out of a mother. he needs to change some of his ways. therapy might be a very good option for you two.oh...and PLEASE DON'T BE HAVING ANY KIDDIES WITH THIS GUY . . . at least before things get worked out.

[ndnqt19666779]

Sounds to me like he is cheating.....at the very least he is being totally disrespectful towards you....Would he appreciate you going out on the weekends and not coming home until 2 or 3 in the morning...I bet not! Are there double standards throughout your marriage?

[AudreanL]

yes he's cheating. when men start doing things that didnt matter to them b4 they are cheating. he doesn't even care that ur concerned. put ur foot down. or fight fire with fire. that's wrong for me to say but ppl don't understand until they walk a mile in ur shoes.

[wrfine9956]

Sorry hon it's over!!!!

[free_angel0383]

Yeah he's cheating.

[Rob1017]

I would say most likely... If he buys new underwear, Is actually happy the next morning, is always texting someone, and is always running to the hardware store to buy a nail, I would worry.but, if he actually continues to treat you the way he has always treated you, i woulden't worry too much, maybe he's adictied to poker....oh if he comes home smelling like cheap hotel room soap.. thats a dead giveaway too.

[Md2157]

START WORRYING SISTER...... THE MAN IS TWO TIMIN YOU

[cyuenvj87]

definitely sounds like it to me.... instead of a private investigator, tail him yourself..just whenever u have the time, or u could take off on Friday or Saturday and not tell him... It's best to see with your own eyes,so there's no mistaking the situation

[JANEY]

This is very inconsiderate behaviour, how would he respond to you if you were the one going out, returning late and not answering the phone?You have to tell him you think you know what is going on, even though you can't be sure, it has got to be something underhand otherwise he would let you know what he was up to.Best to nip this in the bud, you don't want three people in your marriage do you?

[GodlessAM4882]

I would be worried. I agree with DJM, go see a PI.

[elvlayarvvi2371]

divorce, now... before you get aids from some sorbid woman...

[SassyOLDBroad]

Sounds like he's seeing someone to me. Why in the world do you let the man keep coming back? Lock the damn-d door so he can't get in...he'll have to go to the "friends" house to sleep. Don't react when you do see him. Don't call him on the phone. You might even consider not being home when he gets back (have a friend you can spen a couple of nights with?). Otherwise, Lock the door at say 11P and get a good night's sleep. He'll be coming around to his senses soon when you stop acting so needy. Godloveya.

[angie2684]

despite the fact if he's cheating or not, he shouldn't be treating you like that. it's okay for guys to have a night out with the boys, but not every night. I would really consider thinking about ending the relationship. sounds like from what you said he is cheating. you shouldn't be with someone that treats you this way.

[penelope]

For god,s sake, why is a married man going out on the town without his wife? Hello, this is far from normal! And he doesnt get home till 2 or 3 am? Wow, how disrespectful. I used to work in a family therapists office and have seen men like this before so I can give ya a little insight to my personal opinion is on your hubby- They say the red flags for a cheating man or woman is, #1, is he or she changing any outside features? weight lose, grooming habits have improved, dresses nicer? etc #2 is he or she staying out later then usual? # 3 lying, has hubby or wife stopped being honest, # 4 turning the tables, is he or she suddenly trying to defend where they have been and or who they have been with? Im just throwing a few red flag charactor changes out their for you. Dont listen to him when he says, you are over reacting, as this could be him trying to turn the situation around, cheating hubbys do this all the time, I,ve never seen a guy fess up and say, yes honey I was out till 3 am with this hot chick and we had sex for hours, come on, they will deny, deny, deny. At the end of the day it is up to you to seek out the truth, and I,ll tell ya how to do it, just follow him, if you have any money then hire someone to do the dirty work for you, their are many Private Investigators out their, some are cheaper then you think, and they will follow him and report back to you, everything from the beverage he drank down to the very minute he last went to the bathroom, they are very good at this. I can also assure you that when a man stays out till 2 or 3 am, they are not playing pin the tail on the donkey, they are up to no good, so keep your eyes open and watch him.

[goldenslick7774]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It sounds to me like he is cheating. If he stays out all night and won't tell you where he is going or who he is with and has changed the way he dresses, then something is not right in your house. You should ask him straight out and see if he gives you a straight answer. If he gets defensive about what you ask him then he may very well be hiding something.

[cindra4937]

I'm not sure what kind of help you're looking for. It sounds like your husband has another woman. If you need it confirmed, hire a private investigator. If you need a divorce, seek out the advice of an attorney. You obviously can't depend on his word, because like all cheaters, he'll lie right to the bitter end, even if he's caught! Is that the kind of guy you want for the rest of your life?

[placidfury]

call "Cheaters" on TV. That will stop it!!! They will do it for free!

[daddy280]

He is either cheating/spending time with someone else, or he is spending his time and his money in the strip clubs. Check his credit card statements.

[ariel]

It does sound like he is cheating .