I am 23 yrs old although i feel like i'm more like 35 i've been cheating on my husband of 9yrs?

[TeeganS]

i didn't have much of a childhood, i had a baby when i was still a baby myself, i have three kids now i don't go out with friends don't have time! i have been with the same man 9yrs. Recently i started working again and there is a guy who i work with who i have been seeing after work for the past 2months we have not been sexual we just talk & we have kissed & cuddled but I have never met a guy who hasn't tried to get me in the sack i don't know why i have these feelings for this man when i am married I don't know wether i should end this before i get to deep or wether i should just let my hair down and have some fun.

[ValerieX-ooops5337]

I see a HUGE MESS pending on the horizon!And YOU ARE NOT "more like 35" you are 23 with three kids making some rather immature choices!

[BrotherOtter7788]

You're not 100% engaged with your marriage if you're involved with someone else.I was involved with someone else once upon a time and here's what you can expect:Being with this other man involves sneaking and lying.Being with this other man requires breaking some serious promises.Your affair will be discovered. It's only a matter of time.When it's discovered, your husband is almost certain to be furious. If he's mad enough to leave, the odds are high that you will be a single mom with three kids. At 23, you don't have much financial security and your standard of living will go through the floor.A relationship with someone at work doubly complicates the situation. One of you may lose your job, and you definately can't afford that.The odds are very high that your "feelings" are that excited "in love" rush that we feel when we think someone is going to meet all our needs. It only lasts a couple years, so what you're feeling will go away with your co-worker even if you two hook up and you'll be back where you are now.If you are bored and unhappy in your marriage, you have a lot of say about that. You can renegotiate any or all of it. Work with the man you are married to and create a new situation that both you and he are happier with.TURN BACK NOW!! Cut this off clean; stop the after work fooling around. You will have a serious mess to clean up if you don't.

[kevinh]

you got married at 14? wtf

[splashdesign2383650]

23 or 35, you need professional counseling to help you get a grip on reality.Your husband deserves ALL of you and ALL your honesty and life.Ruining a marriage and two lives is not usually considered "having fun".You reeeallly have some growing up to do, especially in terms of committment, responsibility and love.I ask you as much as possible, both you and your husband go see pro marraige help and save your marriage, which in turn will save you and your husband much heartache.Make it work.

[clarissa5701]

what is wrong with you? you have three kids and a husband waiting for you at home! i think you should end this asap before you hurt your family...

[Melisa]

how would you feel if your huband did that to you?

[EnglishDenis3520]

If you don't end it, it will end up in divorce(you WILL get caught) and the children will suffer.

[EZYE1324]

YOUR 23 AND HAVE 3 KIDS ALREADY? AND YOU GOT MARRIED WHEN YOU WERE 14? ARE YOU CRAZY? NOW YOUR CHEATING? DUDE IS PLAYING YOU...AND YES HE JUST WANTS IN YOUR PANTS....GET A GRIP...

[JerryM]

doesnt sound like you are very responsible to your husband or your children, so go ahead have some fun because soon you will be old and no one will want you. i see a very sad and lonely life ahead, better enjoy it while you can.

[Girliegirl9251]

This other guy isn't the answer to your woes. You are the answer. You may have the life experiences of a 35 year old, but that is no excuse for this. OK you had a baby when you were a baby, what about the other 2? Were they planned or were they more surprises. Life is about choices. You chose to have 3 kids at a young age. You can still have fun for Pete's sake. Just have fun with your husband. Go out on date nights. Get a sitter for the kids for a weekend and take a short getaway.

[GinaC]

dont sh*t where you eat....

[trailsend_ranch]

Your feeling this way because it's exciting to be noticed by another man. Why not let your hair down witht the girls? Why do you have to have another male present?Think of the kids!!

[SymbolicUser]

dump your husband and get a better man

[misselie17167]

You don't have friends because you don't have time???????? Then where did you find the time to meet him??? Get away from him. You made some choices in your life and now you need to stick with those choices. Put your energy into making some girl friends and paying attention to your husband. You won't regret it.

[Morningglory3202]

Um, I think if you've kissed and cuddled he IS trying to get you in the sack. You are married with three kids. Shouldn't you be getting a divorce, or at least separating before you get in the arms of another man? Morals?

[LisaTStopBLS]

O.K. you got married at 14? My daughter is 14 and I'd kick her ass for even mentioning getting into a relationship! She's a kid. At 14 you do kid stuff, not play house. You should have thought about that before you went and had three kids by the age of 23. Of course you didn't have a childhood, you were too concerned in wanting to be a "big girl". Go Figure!

[Art7829]

ITS NOT WORTH IT. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED OVER 5YRS. AND I HAD AN AFFAIR FOR 2YRS. TO THIS DAY MY HUSBAND DO NOT KNOW BUT LIFE IS HELL FOR ME BECAUSE I KNOW ONE DAY HE WILL FIND OUT. AND WHAT I WAS FEELING AT THAT TIME I DO NOT FEEL IT NOW. I ALSO MARRIED VERY EARLY AND HAVE TWO KIDS. I AM 24

[NH_MCD]

Of course this other guy is kissing and cuddling right now... believe me, he is working his way into sex and you're young enough and inexperienced enough to not see through his smoke screen. END this extracurricular stuff now!!! It will be destructive to your marriage and your children to continue with it.

[eliass]

its funny how u have no time to hang out with friends of spend time with the family. but u can sqeeze this guy in the picture. i hate women like you, your the type of girl that makes a hard working man kill his family.

[Law7610]

geez..it is a wonder why you already have 3 kids......Seems to me all you have been doing for the last 9 years is letting your hair down and having fun......your 9 year mate must be such a sucka....Sorry for those children...you will get what you deserve and hopefully it doesn't have a negative impact on your children.

[Blujellow]

Wow... you were very young when you were married, and to have three kids at 23 would be very tough.I must agree that you didn't have much of a childhood, and I'm sure there are reasons why you chose to grow up so fast, so I hope people on this forum don't judge you the same way they would say, a 35 year old person who is selfishly cheating.Don't get me wrong, cheating is a very selfish act, and that applies to you too, but that goes without saying that I can understand how you would be feeling like you missed out on something. To not have at least somewhat normal teen and early twenty years could have a big psychological impact on someone, and if you add the responsibilities of motherhood on top of that it can be really tough. -so I look at your situation differently than a person who as an adult made the decision to marry and have children, and then turns around and selfishly pursues some lame physical or emotional desires for the pure fun of it with no regard or respect for their vows or spouse.I really would encourage you to go and talk to someone... like a therapist or a counselor. End the affair and deal with your problem in a good way instead of making them worse by doing wrong.Because the thing is, it's no wonder you feel like you're 35 at 23, and like I said that would make anyone feel like something is missing... it would have psychological effects on anyone, and their are people out there who can help you handle it in a healthy manner.Think of your husband and how you felt when you two met and got married, when you shared the births of your children. Don't give up on that.I hope you feel better and find the strength to do the right thing.

[Wisdom9587]

God is the one who you need to worry about.

[daljack7168]

You are m-a-r-r-i-e-d.It's too bad you started your life early.Stop cheating on your husband and either together or by yourself see a therapist.

[SA]

To answer your question, I don't think that it is a very good idea that your doing all this, and at such a young age. So let me see if I have this right, you got married when you were 14 years old and you have 3 children by age 23. My answer to that is ADULTERY and that is wrong because you took a vow to love and cherish your husband through thick and thin, for better or for worse. this is considered cheating on your husband and that's not right. I empathize that yes, you did have children at a young age and you got married at a young age as well, but that is no excuse. honestly, no disrespect, but you should have thought about all this before your marriage and children. no one forced you to get married and go have children at 14. but I also say this, you can't undo what is done, so I really think that you should think about your marriage and your children while your "seeing" this co-worker and just imagine how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. I hope this helps and I hope that you can end this "fling" and get back to living your life before it's too late. be strong, it will be okay.

[ShellyJ]

END IT NOW. If you don't want to be with your husband, leave him THEN be with another guy. But if you don't want a divorce then don't risk losing your family to "let your hair down...."If you have time to meet with this guy and kiss and cuddle then you have time to meet with platonic friends for a cup of coffee and some grown up time. If you're aching for friend-time join a mommy group, or take up a hobby and join a group that meets once a week or something. Tell your husband how you feel and ask him to watch the kids for a couple hours a week while you get some grown up time.Not having a childhood isn't an excuse. You made some choices when you were young and you are now living with the consequences. That happens to all of us! Every choice you make has a consequence, including this affair. You are an adult with a family. What is more important to you? End it now. Change jobs if you have to.

[KatieJ]

You need to stop this with your co worker. If your husband does find out, he'll leave. Do you want to be left alone with 3 kids? Tell your husband you want to get closer to him. I'm sure it will work out if you do. No more meetings with the co-worker, girl!!

[Rob0470]

you got married at age 14?? well anywayz... yeah just have fun with this guy, lots of married women do this... it helps them appreciate what they have at home. The reason is they will quickly learn that the guy they are with, somehow reminds them of hubby.

[babydolly6534]

i don't understand you getting married at 14 when you are a child yourself i think you should go for counselling you have been abused.

[donnar6948]

You are not acting 35! You are acting like a spoiled kid who wants it all. Well, you can't have it all. You have children and you have a husband that you made a commitment to. You have responsibilities, and it's time to grow up and act like a wife and mother. We all go through a period when we wonder "what if?" But, wake up! You know it's wrong. You made the choice to get pregnant. You made the choice to have those kids. You made the choice to marry your husband. There are a lot of us out here who didn't have much of a childhood. Sounds like you are still stuck in yours.

[tracy9890]

this is a huge mess i would end it unless you want to divorce your husband because your husband ever found out you would be in deep sh*t. He can divorce you and take you for what you have for adultery while married and take the kids away from you.it your decision if you think this guy is worth losing your husband and kids for do what ever makes you happy. think hard about it. good luck

[vicwhit]

You are in an area of life that is total taboo. This in itself can create excitment changes in your mind. First that mariage is not something you just deal with went its good, and find something better when its not. It takes hard work and even changes to make it a success. Second thing is never, ever get involved with a fellow employee. You can and in most cases will find yourself looking for another line of work. Loosing a friend and family along the way. Life is not over for your marriage, but keep it up and you can loose it all, for a thing that will never work.

[wiguy802289]

WOW!!! I didn't think they had internet in Arkansas.

[Hello_there]

In such a hard situation I doubt anyone can help you but yourself....No matter what advice you get from anyone, it isn't going to change what u feel inside, the right thing to do is to stop seeing this other guy, But seeing as how you grew up so fast, I know u feel u owe it to yourself to have some fun and see other people while your still young, but it just isn't fair to do it on the low, if you want to "live" a little you should ask your husband for a break, he deserves that much, don't just play him like that.

[cms19775177]

I'm going to agree with many others and say that you are 23 and you are acting 23...if not younger. I understand that you didn't have much of a childhood. Growing up with a single alcoholic father and a delinquent brother I understand about screwed up childhoods...but I don't cheat on the man I'm with. You can try to justify this all you want with the "He hasn't tried to get me in the sack" and "I had a baby when I was a baby myself"...none of that matters. You took vows and if you don't plan on honoring them then you owe it to your husband to be honest and get out. There is a point in life, no matter how screwed up the past, where you have to grow up and take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming your upbringing. You are an adult and need to start acting like one for the sake of yourself and your family.

[Queenie4816]

You want to do grown up things, then you sure as heck better act grown up!This is not grown up by the way .. REMEMBER Karma, what goes around comes around .. be prepared to be hurt in the same way you are hurting your husband .. and worse, your kids will see it .. You are a mother, now act like one.

[Hmmm]

it's like seeing a car wretch happening in your face and you have the power to freeze time but choose not too because you see a hot sexy chick crossing the other side of the street.....

[lolo5702]

it's women like you who bring a bad name to women,no1 deserves to be cheated on,you have to be honest with you husband,even if you don't love him you should have respect for the 9 years you've been together and the 3 children you have together.i hope your kids never find out about it for their sake.

[mac0306]

Although the grass may look greener on the other side, it's not. You need to think about your kids here. If you mess around and get caught, hubby might get full custody. Would this guy be worth it then? I don't think so. Think about your kids. If you're not happy in your marriage, get a divorce, then you can go play without any fears.

[illinoismommy4389]

Cut it off...now. If there are problems and unhappiness in the marriage figure it out....for the children....just figure it out. You will scar them with divorce and cheating. Sorry, but it needs to stop now. And what kind of a guy can he be if he is seeing and kissing on a married woman?

[qtpisunshine]

Don't be selfish! If not your husband, at least think of what harm you may possibly do your children.

[Kim9485]

You made your choices in the past and it resulted in a family. I am sorry that at 23 you feel you have tied yourself down before you had the time to "have fun", but put your husband and kids first now... it is not only about you. How odd... who signed for permission for you to marry at 14 anyway? Stay away from this other man. Sounds more like you act younger than you actual age, not the other way around. Have some respect for you, your husband, and your kids. This is a no brainer!

[smartypants2543]

what country marries women at 14? just wondering. i dont care what you do. cause i have a sad feeling you dont care what you do either.

[KellyP4318]

i know how you feel i had my first child at 15 and married the guy he was the first guy i had sex with. then i started working and i met all kinds of guys that wanted to be with me then i met this guy i was workin with and we started talkin and now 2 1/2 years later we are together and have a beautiful baby girl and plan to get married soon. so i think if your husband does not make you happy anymore and you feel like you are falling for someone else then let him go. you did not get to explore for the right guy. you just did what you had to do. so follow your heart.

[JayleneG9500]

If I were you I would end it before you get in too deep. If things just aren't working out with you and your husband then leave him and then feel free to let your hair down. Don't ruin your marriage over a fling that won't last for very long if you are married. Hope everything works out for the best