How do I confront married friend cheating on her husband with my other guy friend?

[KatieF]

I have a married friend who I've known for a little over a year and she's been recently introduced to my other guy friend who lives down the street from me. Ever since the introductions, she's been obsessed with my guy friend-she writes me 10s of emails a day asking all sorts of questions about him and even coming over to my house more in hopes of seeing him. She would even say her husband is paging her and she had to leave then I'd find out she went to his house down the street and stayed for hours. Now she doesn't even come to my house anymore and just goes right there. My guy friend's brother lives with him and is totally disgusted with the whole thing and says it's creating tension and awkward situations at home. We all know her husband who is a super nice guy and probably has no idea she's sneaking around. My guy friend came over last night with a HUGE hickie (he's almost 30 and she's 36!!!) so we know for a fact they're fooling around. She's breaking up the band! HELP!!I'm pissed at her because she used me to get to him! I was her "bff" until she started wh*ring herself around my group of guy friends...showing up with her huge b**bs hanging out, making crude comments and acting like a pig! We have a small group of friends where I live in rural VT and she's totally taken advantage of my friendship to better her self esteem! My guy friend is sensitive and honest and will most definitely get hurt when she moves on to her next victim. AND she doesn't even care that I've stopped talking to her! She's just continued to discrace her husband since she's got no need for me anymore! It's not even about telling her husband, it's about the lying and sneaking around my guy friend is doing because he knows it's wrong to be with a married woman! And she's just in it for the attention and will crush my poor friend's heart in the process!

[Whyaskme]

you don't. It is none of your business

[peroxidekween]

Stay out of it. They may all be your friends, but you're just going to cause some big problems if you get into it.

[pierrec]

save her husband .. tell him and throw that $lut in jail somewhere... with buch of

[louie8039]

im not really sure if you should play any part in this. her husband may find out on his own. Why dont you tell your friend that if she continues doing this, you are gonna have no choice but to confront her husband, or you can just be annonymous and drop a letter off too the husband. this is a hard situation in whether or not to make it your buisness, you may lose a friend over it so ask yourself if its worth it,

[tarie75]

I would tell her to back off or it will ruin your friendship. Say I really don't like to caught up in such childish drama. Tell her to make it better or you will take your own measures. Good Luck.

[Sparkles7827]

Although the so called friend is breaking up the band, for whatever that means, this is really between your girl and guy friend, and his brother since he lives with him. You really are not involved in this since you are not his fiance or married to the friend. If you have any idea as to ratting on her to her husband forget it. It could cause a devestating situation involving the girl and guy friend. People have been actually killed over cheating. She will be caught up with, and you should not be involved in anyway when it happens.

[xxxamyxxx]

stay out of it the person who outs it ends up the bad guy

[ShawneeMarie]

well just because you saw the hickie on his neck doesn't mean it was from her! So don't assume...however, I would let her know firmly that you don't agree with what she's doing, and that you will not be an active party to it. Then send all her emails to her husband and let him know that the biotch is foolin around....he'll do what he has to do next. And tell your guy friend that you no longer respect him because of what he's doing and that he isn't welcome in your home anymore. Close the door on both of them and don't allow someone else's crises become your own.

[Sage2]

She not your friend anymore so blow the whistle on her unless your guy friend, who should know better calls a halt to it all.

[christinA5897]

wow. this is a wired situation......its 2 things u can doA) u can tell the husband or talk 2 da wife and the guy friendB) or just dnt get involved becuz u may make the issue more biggerTRUST ME :p

[TheStone]

Never accuse her, just let your friend see with his own eyes by inviting the other guy over one night when the band is practicing. He will see how she reacts in his presence. you may also want to forward the emails to your buddy if they are credible. In some cases he may become embarrassed if you told him and distance himself from you so let him find out himself but you can lead him in the direction of discovering for himself. You are making this your problem. If you tell she will know you were the one who told and will be upset with you I believe that some of this has to do with the fact shes spending less time with you know and you miss your bff so sit her down tell her you miss her then let her know she can always confide in you in you. Than ask her whats going on with the other guy? Remember for every action there is an reaction and you will have to live with the consequences of your actions as well as she if the cat gets let out of the bag.Good luck with the band!

[Vivita1696]

Stay out of their drama, you don't have to condone it but I wouldn't vocalize the fact that you want to tell the husband. That could get you into serious trouble for several reasons, he may already know and may not want anyone to tell him that his wife is sleeping around and then you'll have her and your guy friend on your back for blowing the lid on their affair. If you insist on dropping the bomb on the husband do so with an anonymous letter. And I'm sure it's irksome having to see the two of these carrying on so if you make plans with the group, make sure to invite the husband along.

[Ania]

Well, this is a delicate matter. Before you confront her, I think you need to ask yourself if you're prepared to loose her as a friend. It's funny how situations like this can turn around and make you look like the bad guy. A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. Just like you now, I didn't know what to do, and even if I should do anything. Finally I confronted my friend, sat down with her and asked her if she realized the possible consequences of what she's doing. If she was someone I just knew I would never even get involved, but we were very close (or so I thought). I was her friend, I didn't want to see her destroy her marriage. But she didn't seem to care much for my concern, said that there is no problem, that her husband will never find out, and so on. So I told her I didn't like her cheating, and getting me involved in her lies (sometimes when she was with the other guy she told her husband she was out with me, and I had to confirm that to him). To make a long story short, we are not friends anymore, and her husband is not talking to me either, even though I never told him anything. I think to support your friend is one thing, but to participate in hurting another friend is something else. At first I felt bad about the whole thing, but now I can see that she wasn't my true friend, she was abusing my friendship, and I only regret not confronting her sooner. Good luck to you whatever you decide.