Should I tell him to go cheat??

[AmericanChristian]

I've been married for 2 1/2 years. My husband was a virgin. He just got back from Iraq and we're supposed to be trying to get pregnant. But lately he only wants to talk about bringing other people into the bedroom.I hate the idea. Its grosses me out and makes me feel as though I'm not good enough. We've never had any problems til now. I don't know what to do. The Bible is pretty specific on how God feels about sex outside of marriage and I don't want to violate God's Word but at the same time I want my husband happy.If I can't satisfy him and I don't want other people with us should I tell him to go get it out of his system and I'll be here when he gets back???????????If he does that then he may leave me or never stop the trysts but if I don't he might leave me or just recent me for the rest of our marriage.He can't even preform anymore without talking about other people.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[3ILOVEMICHAEL3]

Heck no! It's time for a divorce.

[Ruthie]

he doesn't need another woman, he needs a therapist. Think about it, if you tell him it's ok to cheat how are you gonna feel? Not only will he have violated your vows to each other but he could impregnate another woman and/or get some kind of STD, then he'd transfer that STD to you...do you want that? Have some self-respect! Cheating is not and never will be the answer! You need to go to couples therapy and he may need some therapy alone as well. If you still can't solve the problem you split...you don't allow him to cheat. That's like saying 'It's ok honey, you can treat me like shit just because you're having some mental problems about our sex life' No, that doesn't fly, have some self-respect!

[paganmom]

It sounds like you and he need some marriage counseling. Some people have open relationships and it works for them, but a majority of people don't. I would divorce my husband before I would condone him having sex with another woman.It sounds like something else may be going on, I suggest really talking to him. I think marriage counseling is in order.Until you guys figure things out I suggest you put the baby making on the back burner.

[KurtE]

Become what he seeks a different person Sex can survive quite well emersed in fantasyDress as he seeks act as he seeks if only in privite.Your change must come as a surprise Go from there build on thatTell him to cheat? Crazy talk and as far as I know it's been quite some time since god said anything to anybodySave your marrige

[snowsnowy]

well of course if you want to follow gods word then him cheating isnt good either its against god. it might just be a fantasy of his and he may not actually want to bring other people in. he also might be seeing how you will react to the idea. you need to talk to him and ask why all of a sudden he wants others involved(called swinging) and other things you may want to know. tell him how you feel and that you are against it.if you tell him to cheat he most likely will do it more than once. if he is having performance problems it might be due to something else mentally and the only way he knows how to deal with it (by helping himself get aroused) is to think of other people. you two need to talk it out and maybe see a marriage counselor if that doesnt work then it just might be time to end the marriage.I would also try not to get pregnant incase worse comes to worse.talk to him and see where that leads

[ThePlanetAphasia]

You probably would benefit from seeing a couples therapist. If you both are Christians then the pastor or minister from your church might be able to arrange for you to see a professional who can help otherwise, use the phone book. Sending your husband off to cheat is not going to help your marriage in any way; it will make things worse. Taking other people into your marriage bed will not help either. The fact that he just got back from Iraq suggests he could need to talk to a professional about his experiences over there and how they are effecting your marriage. Good luck.

[DeltaD2408]

Go to counseling.