at what point is it cheating?

[GrinsandGiggles]

is it when you start to get a weird feeling like u really miss someone when you are on myspace and see someone you used to date. And start up a conversation with them. Or what about if you tell them you miss them. And then start to think about them all the time. Then he gives you his number. You dont take it down for like 2 days and then one day you text him and say hi. Then you talk on the phone for a few minutes about his married wife and kids and your husband and kids..... you text each other alot but never really say anything flirtacious. You just talk.If you ask to meet somewhere even when in your mind you are just catching up with an old friend, is it wrong? I mean, I am thinking about him like i am single. Erasing the text messages and wanting to see him. what do i do? what am i doing? should i go with my feelings to see him or Just say no! me and my hubby have a real rocky relationship and right now isnt so great. Sometimes he can be abusive.. emotional and...

[cms19776991]

sure...go ahead and meet him...the world needs another cheater! should have stopped this communication before it even started, you know your intentions and they're not good. if you can live with yourself then it's up to you...there are 2 types of people: those that can cheat and those that cannot...time to decide who you are.

[ndnqt19661332]

You are playing with fire and you damn well know it....You know it is wrong because I am very confident in assuming that you haven't shared this information with your husband....If your marriage is rocky...do something about it...You both need to get into therapy....especially if he is abusive...and if he refuses....Get a divorce before pursuing another relationship....

[elvlayarvvi9953]

it's already cheating... even if you don't meet... you are putting yourself into this "fantasy" instead of trying to work things out w/ your spouse... it was cheating when you contacted this "x"...

[Lisa0108]

It is wrong. If you want proof ... then ask him out with your husband listening in on the conversation and watch his face as you ask another man you used to have sex with out to lunch to "catch up". Do not play with fire.

[Darla3660]

You are cheating because you are keeping secrets from your spouse.

[Thatdude8151]

Once you start meeting behind your husbands back. You should tell him you are meeting a friend. If there are motives or desires you should not go ahead with it. Have you already cheated in your mind? then you have your answer

[blueeyedjadefromarkansas]

Honey I am in your same situation and then some. I am now having an affair with a married man with three kids and I have a husband and two kids. So, I shouldn't be the one to give advice. I will just tell you what people have told me. Learn to close one door, before you open another. Learn from your mistakes and move past them. But if you are asking what cheating is or second guessing yourself then you probably already have or are soon going to cross the line. Good Luck and Best Wishes.

[SweetheartS]

I think that anything you do that you have to hide from your spouse or that you do knowing that it would hurt them or make them feel betrayed is cheating.If it is innocent then telling your spouse about it should not be bad.If your spouse is abusive, then that is a totally seperate issue. Fix your marriage or get out. Then when you have decided what to do there, you can consider forming a relationship.But remember this man is married!I think that if things are bad with your husband, this might be a little escape fantasy for you. Do not do anything until you are single. It is normal for married people to have fantasies when things aren't great. But you need to work on your real life before you can concentrate on fantasies.

[Monkeyboi]

If it's behavior you're trying to hide from you're spouse, or behavior you feel ashamed about, then yeah, it's probably cheating.You need to deal with your relationship with your husband b/f you do anything else. If the marraige is worth salvaging & you want to stay with your husband, then that needs to be your focus.However, I'm getting the feeling from your question that you are already emotionally leaving the marriage, so maybe your best bet is to end it & get on with your life.But make that decision on your own marriage. It would be very nasty indeed to end your marriage & assume you can go have an affair with a married man, possibly wreaking his marriage (and emotionally devestaing his wife & kids).

[purplewaterhorse9432]

You are going down a dangerous road. Stop it all right now before it goes any farther. Start thinking about what to do to help your marriage first and foremost. Sounds like the two of you could use some counseling. Get it. IF you cant, you need a sit down conversation between the two of you to admit you have issues. If you cant do this either, then maybe a separation will get his attention.

[JustM]

You should have never started this with your old BF Stop it now or leave your husband. Especially since he is abusive! Are you nuts? I mean abuse is never right but you intice him with these things? If your mentally attached then it effects how you act, react and treat your husband. Keep it up I hope he beats your ass.

[Roan29]

from what you posted here you are still unsure of yourself. it is a form of cheating once you hide things from your husband regarding someone very important from the past as an exboyfriend or exgirlfriend. I know it is easy to look for attention somewhere else if you are not happy with the way things are with your present relationship but it's never easy to handle the after effects of cheating. if you are still wondering what the bounderies of cheating on your partner then there is only one answer and that is : as long as you keep doubting yourself about how you feel for the ex and how you feel for your present partner then you know you have crossed the bounderies. Try to fix things at home and if your hubby is still abusive then by all means get out of the relationship but find some one new who is single and therfore you don't have to ruin someone's family life. don't meet with your ex it is just your fantasy running amok with your feeling of neglect. Instead be proud of who you are and meet other people who are single. Get a divorce or a seperation or leave your present hubby. Don't live with someone who uses you as a punching bag. It's not worth it. It's not love , it's him having to prove to himself that he is worth something eventhough he isn't. He might have big issues in the past and hasn't dealt with it and has caught up with him now in the present. If you truly love him(your hubby) try to get him help and if he doesn't want help becauase of PRIDE then get out. Cheating has a lot of forms it doesn't necessarily mean having sex with someone else besides your hubby it's also sharing intimate details to an ex and then trying to recapture what you had. In timacy is a very delicate topic cos there are a lot of norms to it so yes all of what you mentioned and the way you are being confused now suggest that you are cheating. You know it and the real reason to your confusion is you can't accept the fact that you might and have been cheating already. Sorry. Hope you can find your true self and be proud of what you have accomplished cos that will help you clear your mind and help you do the right thing about not seeing your ex and not hanging on to your exespast relationship with you. GOOD LUCK

[noga]

You should ask your husband..if it is cheating..what he thinks you should do about it??