Why does it hurt so bad??

[WilmaF]

have been married for 6 years this Oct. 26th, my husband was 18 and I was 16 when we got married. Very young and dumb but he was very responsible and very hard working. I don't know why but when we got together I would like to make him jealous and would really treat him like crap. Then 5 months later I got pregnant after I had my daughter he changed he started to drink more and would come home late, no he wasn't cheating (or so he said). Over the years our relationship (specially the past 2 years) got worse I would get upset that he was drinking constantly and I would get physically violent with him. He wouldn't strike back he would just take in (he said that he would take because he felt bad that he was drinking and I didn't like that). Finally I seeked help for my anger issues, but he wouldn't change. I have come to realize that he is an alcoholic so I didn't want my daughter or I to continue this sick cycle that we had that I was always made cause he drank and he was alwayshe was always drinking cause I was mad. So I left one week before our anniversary, I just wanted us not to be together until he seeks help for his addiction, but its hard for him being that all his family drinks. But when you are determined to do something you can do it. Sorry I am just venting......... : (I realize that I also did wrong in this marriage!!!

[woodye85741]

it just does

[mezwood8949]

An alcoholic needs support to stop drinking and it seems the only person capable of being that just left him.

[Roko9658]

so he needs to learn a different way to cope with his depression...since alcoholism runs in his family, he will probably need some outside help and a supportive wife since he doesn't seem to have a strong will. If he's willing to find a good therapist, there's a chance this marriage can be saved, otherwise you may have to pack your bags and tell him if he loves you and his kids, do the right thing and ya'all can be a family again.Most therapists are crap, but there are some really good ones out there, try a few out, get recommendations.I like the ones who are traditionally changed but mix wholistic medicine. If you feel better each time you leave, you'll know you may have a keeper. First meeting is general intake info though.Now, for you, well, it's good you grow up and stop purposely making him jealous because of your insecurities or whatever. Glad that childish past is over. Seems you're partly paying for that dark side of you...I'd be depressed if my significant other constantly did that or treated me like crap in general...and your SOL that his way of dealing with the growing depression is alcohol, so I hope you learned your lesson. He probably would have went this way anyways down the line. But you need some therapy too.Also violence doesn't solve anything and God forbid I hope your kid(s) didn't see that. I understand your anger, but really both of you, there are better ways! We are civilized not animals dear!

[joan_of_freakin_arc9986]

it hurts because its hard to admit its been a failure, because u had dreams and aspirations, and u realize unless he changes u will have to end the marriage. no matter if we are hurt and disappointed it always hurts when u can't find a way out, or a way to make it work. if u have gotten help and he won't u need to distance yourself and realize unless he gets help theres no hope.

[raysny]

You got married too young, but he was hard working and responsible. You responded to this but treating him like crap. Now you beat on him because he's depressed and drinks, but he doesn't hit back.Now you're going to leave because he's an alcoholic? I'd say you need to look at your part in this, you're certainly doing nothing to help him.I hope he pulls himself out of it, he didn't deserve you, and I hope you don't screw up your daughter as bad as you're screwed up.