Is my husband cheating?

[NumLock97]

I have been married for 7 years. From the beginning my husband (who is now 46 years old!) has thrown tantrums and tried to hurt me by sleeping on the sofa or another bedroom. He has continued this trend throughout our entire marriage. I am starting to think if maybe he has cheated OR is cheating on me and that is why he sleeps on the sofa? He is very hurtful and emotionally and verbally abusive towards me and we have a 3 year old son together. Since last week, he's begun his sleeping on the sofa thing again. I am on the verge of really "doing it" and starting divorce proceedings, I've had it. I am 33 and feel like I'm in a black hole that never ends. WHAT ON EARTH DOES IT MEAN WHEN HE'S SLEEPING ON THE SOFA? infidelity?

[DrS]

he is not. he just wants a break from life. you are just insecure. get marriage counseling asap or you are doomed.

[busch_drinking_fool]

you should be able to talk to him and ask him why this is hapening then figure out what you two are going to do about correcting this problem ...... your married talk like a happily married couple talk

[ndnqt19664025]

He could be cheating...but the real question is...is it with a man or a woman?If he has been sleeping somewhere else rather than with you since you have been married...something is up and not right...7 years of this is just too long....Have you suggested counseling?

[tiny]

Most cases, yes , he is cheating on you, when a married man starts to sleep on the sofa, that means he is no longer attracted to his wife, wants nothing to do with her in bed, and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but if I were you, I'd move on, you are still young, don't waste anymore time on a dead relationship.

[KeepingItReal0495]

It's not good whatever it is. When a man knows something bothers a woman the man will constantly do whatever it is over and over. He knows that bothers you so he does it. The moment you show him that that doesn't bother you he will stop. Give him a taste of his own medicine. When he comes back to bed you should go to the couch. Let him see how it feels. He needs to grow up and you need to put your foot down. You need to demand respect. Your husband being abusive is not good for your son to see.

[Lunaeclipz6308]

He's abusive thats for sure-he is sleeping on the couch because he knows it bothers/hurts you-its a way to maintain his control-maybe he is maybe he isn't cheating but one thing is for sure he sounds like a very bad guy-get rid of him!

[Badass8983]

Us men are a bit more complicated than we get credit for! God knows what the hell is going on, it may be cheating, it may be something wrong 'downstairs', he may have done something very wrong and is highly stressed about it, it may be something or somebody at work???BUT, if I were you I would be giving him 1 chance to 'fess up' on what the hell is going on, if he comes out and tells you then you can start getting on with life again, but if he doesn't get out of there, move away and start a new life with your son. Sure you will feel hurt for a very long time but at least you'll be safe and will be able to start a whole new adventure with somebody else.

[tygrlili99]

Whether or not he is cheating on you is irrelevant in this situation. He's emotionally and verbally abusing you. File for divorce, regardless of his fidelity. You deserve better than that.

[hail_loki]

Men like to avoid conflict.He's not cheating, he feels angry, hurt and alone.The fact that you call his emotional problems 'tantrums' shows that the two of you need counseling.Sleeping on the couch is not indicative of having an affair, it's indicative of a man who is angry.You are barking up the wrong tree, and if you keep it up, you will drive him to having one.For the sake of that child, you had better get yourself to counseling with your husband. The two of you are not communicating and that is a bad thing.Do the mature thing and seek a counselor before seeking a lawyer.

[KarenS]

Communicate! Talk to him,but don't let it become heated. If it does walk away. There is no need for the abuse! NONE!!!! Seek counseling and if these things do not work pack it up. But please try to make it work first. Leaving is the easy way out and marriage takes a lot of hard work by both partners,

[DanM9956]

Its called the 7 year itch, if you are willing to work past it your marriage will last , if you throw in the towel and give up you will never knwo what wouldve become of your marriage i got married at 23 and you know my marriage hasnt always been perfect no there hasnt been any infidelty , but when there is a problem we have always known to talk about it get it out in the open that way we can fix it right away or work on fixing it Im 32 now celebrate 10 years April 2008 I live by my TLC rule of Marriage Trust Loyalty Communication you need all 3 for a successful marriage and right now you need to Communicate with your Husbandlet him know how you feel any questions you need answers to dont hesitate to ask him

[whatshername]

I think it means that he is waiting on you to make the first move with getting a divorce so he can't be the one "to blame" for ending the marriage. It definitely sounds like this is a miserable existance and it is obvious from your question that you are very unhappy. My advice to you would be to leave him before your child gets any older and starts to think that this is normal behavior for a husband and wife and gets a warped sense of how a marriage should really be. You are young and you can start over just fine and I think that is what you should do. Life is too d@mn short to be miserable. He may be cheating, but so what.....he is abusing you! If he is cheating then just let the other woman(if there is one) take him off your hands and get the burden of living with his sulky butt.You've dealt with this childish behavior out of this almost 50 year old man for 7 years....don't you think it is time to come up for air and breath and live again? If I were you I would feel dead inside. After 7 years and 46 years old this man is not going to change! EVER! He may be keeping his distance because he feels guilty for cheating on you either in the past or presently....MAYBE BOTH. Think about you life for a moment. Ask your self if you are happy. Now ask yourself if you can see yourself ever being happy with him again. Do you think he is capable or even wants change? That black hole does have an ending you just have to find it and I don't think you will by staying with this man. Get a divorce and be happy! No one deserves this treatment. Good luck!

[pokvet]

U should be concerned, u see I was ur husband. I was cheating and displaying some of the same behaviors ur husband is exhibiting. I was young and dumb, had a good woman but I only cared about myself and what i wanted.The woman I was married to was very caring and loving,she didn't deserve the abuse I put her through.. no one does!My wife only wanted some to love her the way she loved mebut I was too selfish and wrapped up in what I wanted to see that. I think ur on the right track and should file for divorcethings aren't going to get any better, they'll only get worse.To the day I regret doing what I did to her, I've apologizedand made amends to her and she has forgiven me. Todaywe still speak and we're friends, I also learned that no matterwhat nobody deserves to be treated like that. My advise would be to kick him and the sofa to the curb.

[tiny9199]

i think that maybe he's acting like he doesn't seem interesting in you any more or that he probably is cheating!hey you know they say when you feel a certain way it may be true so go with your instincts

[Sands0673]

You can get excellent advice at www.survivinginfidelity. com including signs to watch for, how to listen in on telephone conversations, how to keylog his email conversations, how to obtain a divorce, how to make things work out if you still want to, what to say to your children/family/friends, and how to move on. Another great site is www.cheaternews. com.