I cheated on my husband and now my 21 yr old son wont talk to me what do I do?

[AshelyB]

I cheated and I got caught. My husband and I are trying to work things out. My eldest son however wont even speak to neither of us. He wants my husband to leave me! When my husband didnt my son said he didnt have any self respect. He packed up all his things and got an APT by his school. He took out extra loan money to do this. Then I later found out he removed himself from our cell phone plan, got his own car insurance and health insurance. He hasnt spoken with me since August. I called the school to get his new adress and phone number and the Bast#@ds said they couldnt give it to me since I was not paying for his school and he didnt sign any consent forms. Im his fricken mother how can they not do that! I have no idea where he is living or his phonenumber. I only have his email adress and he never responds. He will talk with his sisters but he has not told them his phone number or where he lives or atleast they have not told me. What can I do to get my son to talk to me again?

[littlegirl]

Try to convince him, show your love for him.

[vettegirlz06]

Hoe, Hoe, Hoe...Marry Christmas!! LOL

[Hammy9024]

I can empathize with your son. He must feel that infidelity is a deal breaker. You taught him his values. He doesn't yet understand how hard it is to walk away from a long term relationship so he's pushed his dad away as well. I'd suggest that you stop trying to track down your son and focus on your marriage or your husband may take a quick lesson for your son. Your boy will start talking to you again when he is ready.

[taby]

all i can think of is give him his space. he looked up to you and his father. he is just as hurt that you could do that. he will eventually come around.

[Niki0748]

Hes hurt! He found out your sleazy sorry but you cheated what ever the reason is he has a right to be mad at you it may blow over but you need to give him some space and let him call you when he wants to stop and you should pushing him to call or trying to call him because it will make him resent you for longer let him heal and he will call you when hes ready. good luck

[NIKKI4784]

He is a grown man and has made his decisions, there really is nothing that you can do. When he is ready he will come to you and i applaud the school for not giving out personal information of there students.

[joan_of_freakin_arc6745]

u are his mom, and what u did hurt him, he seems to have lost all confidence in u, and no longer sees u in the same light as he use to. sounds as if he has very definite ideas about life and right and wrong. best to just leave it alone for now, as there is nothing u can do to change things. the whole thing was just too painful for him so he is distancing himself from u. don't try to push yourself on him right now, it is going to take some time for him to get over it.

[aak]

You have to give him some time.He has every right to be pissed off at you...you just shifted his entire world. I'm sure he just needs time to think things through. I'd be mad at my parents if this happened too.All you can do is wait for him to cool down & contact you. Give him his space, or else you'll just anger him more.You did bring this on yourself...how did you think your family would react?

[virus_hunter_2000]

Why did you make another question on the exact same topic? Read your other thread. The consensus was that you're pathetic and your son did the right thing. I don't think you're going to get any sympathy here for being a pathetic ho.

[UisforUranium8961]

You shouldn't have cheating in the first place. A kid looks up to his parents. When one parent does something so stupid, like cheating, it totally dis-credits you. You say one thing, but do another. Your no longer trust worthy or believable. BTW: he's 21. He's an adult and doesn't need your signature for everything. He will continue to distance himself from you until he is ready to talk. The more your force it, the farther he will become.Hope the cost of your son was well worth it.

[sfcgijill]

You selfish woman. Get over yourself. He is an adult, and if his values are such that he won't speak to a cheating wife, then good for him. Did it ever occur to you that you have DESTROYED his world? Maybe he isn't in the mood to have you destroy his future along with yours.Legally, the school doesn't owe you a thing, in fact, they are required to NOT release his information unless he specifically says it's ok. That protects students from stalkers and other crazy people. Again, get over yourself. The fact you gave birth to him was a happy (for you) accident. You want him to talk to you again? Try living like an honest woman- eventually his sisters will tell him you've pulled your head out of your butt and then he may be interested in your company.

[christy_7148]

Im so sorry. I know you will blame yourself and even others may blame you but your human, humans make mistakes and that doesnt soften the blow of the pain of a mother being seperated from her son. All I can say is give it time. Send him an email just to remind him that there is a time in every child's life (even though hes an adult now) when they have to see that their parents are less than perfect, and you understand that. Tell him that as his mother you will always be there when he's ready to have a relationship with you again (and he will!!) The best thing you can do is be patient, and it definitely wouldnt hurt if your husband would talk to him... if he can forgive you, why cant your son? I know that "be patient" is not what you want to hear but thats what it comes down to. When you think about it, what else can you do? Good luck, and God Bless.

[Duke]

Well It Sounds Like Your Son Is More Grown Up Than You Are.Give Him Some Time And Maybe He Can Teach You Right From Wrong. Do You Expect every one to just go on as if nothing happened?You really need to get a grip and grow up!

[love_inc20004219]

Give him a little time to digest this.He sees you as his mother but in certain situation he has to see you as a woman too.And that will take some time.

[Luv2Answer]

Give him time. He is a grown man and will come around eventually. You need to accept that this might be one of the consequences of what you did.

[twinkies_22]

As much as it hurts, give him his space and let him calm down. At least you know he is ok with him talking to his sisters. Does he talk to them about it? Also, have your husband talk with him. Your husband can explain to him that this is HIS marriage and HIS life. That no matter how he feels about what has happened, is in the past and no one can go back to change that. All everyone can do is move forward and forgive your mistake. You do have to remember, he is hurt by what you did and time does heal all wounds. Maybe try to plan a family meal in a neutral place and invite the whole family to this dinner. Or you could have his sisters plan a dinner with him, and then you and your husband show up also. He will get over this, but apparently, it is going to take time.

[Kailey]

I feel bad for you, but I am not at all surprised that your son is acting this way! I have always said - when you are married with children and you decide to cheat, keep in mind that you are cheating on your spouse as well as your children! This holds true even if your "children" are grown. He is hurt! You betrayed his trust and probably went against everything you have ever taught him. He is angry with your husband because he has lost respect for him. In his mind, you cheated, your husband should leave you - end of story! We all know that isn't the way things necessarily work, but that is his take on things right now.You need to be patient with him! Email him and tell him that you are sorry and that you love him! Be sure he knows that you will always be available if he ever decides he wants to talk to you again. In the meantime, work on your marriage. The best thing for him right now is to see that EVERYONE makes mistakes and that true love can prevail!! He may not see it now, but the two of you staying together through this is teaching him an important life lesson! Marriage is hard!! People do really stupid things sometimes!! But, forgiveness and committment are part of a happy marriage. Your husband needs to try to explain to him his reasons for staying with you. Even though he may not respond right away, it will eventually sink in. He will come around - just be patient and try to understand how he is feeling!!Good luck!

[daron]

you destroyed his life , the solution is the time , leave him a while and he will return to you , but keep honest in your life and dont make the same mistake .

[jim2403]

The reason they can do that is because he is a 21 year old man, and his mother does not have a legal right to get private info on him.How did he find out about your cheating? Kids, no matter how old they are, should not be involved in anything like that. That is a matter between you and yuor husband.He'll probably get over it in time,

[andewpollard]

He probably has a good reason not to talk to you, your probably been preaching to him all his life to be an honest and faithfull person, live , love and respect, yet you just did something youve preached to him, being younger myself id feel like everything you said was a complete pileYou need to expect that heis the type of person he is and its his choice when he speaks to you, if he ever does again.What you did is something we as a society have become to expect alot more, even tho its so wrong. Im going to guess that your husband was probably good fella, otherwise your son wouldnt have taken it so hard if he thougth his dad was a screwball.I'm young, also so i can speak from your sons side. He's probably not going to forgive you right away so you need to give him time, if you think he's going to talk to you because you keep driving him nots your extremely wrong, hes going to want to keep away from you more, its a childs game. My advice to you is let him have his space to realise his moms a complete s_l_u_t_bag but it has nothing to do with him, you must keep in mind that youve been telling him his whole life want he needs to be and i hope youve build him a solid foundation build on honesty and integrity, but know youve basically taught him its to not practice what you preach, let him decide what he wants to do, with mistakes we have consquences.... enjoy yours

[Beatngu0857]

Well, looks like you raised him right! He knows right from wrong and he doesn't want anything to do with a cheater!! Good for him. As for you, shame for trying to track him down through his school!! Give him his space and maybe he'll come around. You need to work on your marriage, if your husbands is willing to stay through you trampling his heart and ruining your home. Work on being a wife again, and let your son be. He is 21, grown enough to know what you did was wrong, didn't like it and has made his decision about it. He obviously can take care of himself if he can get everything straight.

[darkening_hope3059]

You not only broke your husband's trust, but your son's, as well.You need to ask for forgiveness. Now, all that you can do is give him time. You certainly can't force him to talk to you. Send him a heartfelt email and, maybe he'll think twice about it.But for now, just chalk it up as experience...And remember that your decisions do affect your children.