I found dating links in my husbands email?

[browneyes_78_20073195]

I had a suspicion my hubby was cheating so I got into his yahoo email. Well there were several dating site emails and porn links. I got into one of them and he had written that he was married looking for a discreet encounter. He signed up for it when I was out of town with friends. I approached him about it, he said he doesnt remember doing that. There were also pictures of some half naked girl saved into his email. He claimed that someone must have sent them and he didnt delete them, but they were in a separate folder marked "Pics" What the hell should I do? Ive logged into his messenger as him and No one has messeged? I dont know whats up?I have no problem with him watching porn or looking at it online its a whole different story trying to meet real people. Oh and did I mention I had a friend of mine set him up online she pretended to be someone else and his dumb ass fell for it. He was gonna go meet her until I busted him on it. In that case I knew it was my friend so I didnt freak but at the same time how do I know he isnt gonna do it again...he swares he wont...but how do I know that. My concern right now is more my child than his stupid ass.I have no problem with him watching porn or looking at it online its a whole different story trying to meet real people. Oh and did I mention I had a friend of mine set him up online she pretended to be someone else and his dumb ass fell for it. He was gonna go meet her until I busted him on it. In that case I knew it was my friend so I didnt freak but at the same time how do I know he isnt gonna do it again...he swares he wont...but how do I know that. My concern right now is more my child than his stupid ass.

[Cara]

Trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you he's cheating then he probably is. Or he hasn't YET but is looking to. You know whats really going on here.

[rascal_flatts_lvr9930]

UH-OH... HE GOT CAUGHT RED HANDED...

[sarahcare]

wow so obvious he's lying and cheating or attempting to

[wigglesmom]

he might have just been goofing around with his friends. as far as the picture, im in love with my b/f and i have a couple of naked men on my computer. it is natural. that's why playboy magazine is so popular.

[I_know_all]

Well i dont know whats up either. But im sure u now have a bad case of spyware on ur computer, and maybe a virus or two. Tell ur man to stop goin on those sites cuz it will not only mess up ur marriage but it will mess up ur PC.

[SC82]

yeah, he's full of s*** and lying to you. He knows that he went to those links and knowingly saved the naked pictures and put them in his pics folder. He's looking to cheat or already has. Get rid of this loser before he ruins your life and then gives you a v.d. on top of it. I hope y'all don't have kids... that would make this tougher,

[SuzyBelle04]

first of all, since he gave you reason to suspect him of cheating, don't feel guilty for snooping. i would confront him and he will lie because he is embarassed and caught. i say once a cheater, always a cheater. or you might hire a private investigator to follow him or tap his phones so you have some hard evidence.

[preppygrl88sbcglobalnet]

im sorry to say this but I think that your husband did try to cheat on you. He just doesnt want to admit it to you. His excuse sounds lame to me. If I were you I would leave him or do revenge or scare him, example, warn him that you are leaving him. This might get him to appreciate what he has and cause him to change. You might also want marriage counseling.

[Joycee]

Alot of men and woman are just courious when they sign into websites like that..doesn't mean he acted on it...but your just as guilty for spying on his computer. Things will never be the same between you to now.

[IJToomer]

Sounds like he is lying, but it doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you - He may just be shady and looking at pics, and messing with people. I'd keep a close eye though!!

[jtabor5740]

Seek counseling. Husbands can feel ignored and taken for granted when wives become too confortable. You may need to try putting some spark back into your relationship.

[Phaylynn]

You've busted him and he's lying to cover his a s s. If you are interested in saving your marriage than you need to take some time to calm down. Then approach him again and find out what would drive him to cheat on you in the first place. He has to be unhappy and there must be some things that you're unhappy about. Talk about them calmly and figure out together whether you want to continue this marriage or get out. If you want to keep going and work through this than you need to go to marriage counseling.

[belle9343]

Do not fall for his pathetic excuses. Tell him you do not believe him and stick with it.

[Aredhel]

what are you still waiting for?He's definately not being honest with you!This is not easy... but you guys really need to talk and find out the truth!

[Roo]

Sounds like he is looking for someone on the side, and still wants you around. If he put those pictures in a special folder he knows where they came from and who they are. He might not have cheated on you, but he is looking for someone to cheat with. He needs to step up to the plate and tell you the truth, because he knows he's been caught.

[NIkkiWikki]

You need to have a long talk with him. Let him know how you feel and this doesn't belong in your marriage and maybe go to counseling. You both need to be honest with each other. If he disagrees with you and continues you have to make a hard decision.

[evelynr]

never belive them if you suspect it that means there doing it (most likely) if he is doing that stuff sure his not going to tell you about it!!! Think to your self! what should you do???

[babsy0123]

If he has not cheated...he's on the way to doing it....find out what's going on..is he bored with your sex life>Men seek attention from others due to their need to be attention hounds....See what he says.....but he's on the verge of it....beware...but really don't snoop and LOOK for reasons...that email might have been an agressive woman who likes the looks of your hubby....communicate with him........

[ms_sokin]

Men...well he's obviously thinking about it whether he's acted on it remains to be found out. You can keep asking him but you're never going to get the answer you want to hear. So you're going to have to decide if you want to stick around and find out more or go with your gut instincts and leave him. Yeah I know easier said than done, my take there is more to come. Since you had a suspicion, what did you plan to do if it was confirmed?

[Linda]

I feel very sad for you that your suspicions turned out to be correct. I wouldn't let him get away with denying it. You obviously have a problem in your marriage and you need to talk about it. Nothing may have come out of his linking into dating services. Looking at half naked women or porno is not a big deal in my opinion. Don't know how you feel, but he may like that. Linking onto dating sites and searching for something discreet crosses the line. When you are both in a place to talk calmly and rationally, I would discuss what he feels he is missing in his life that he needs to search these sites. Often times there's a deep disconnect between the two of you and no communication. good luck

[Corona]

If no one on his list has messaged back, that must mean he has given a "code word" to these women that would let them know if it was him or not. Whether he admits it or not, he has at least been cheating online.

[koalabear75whs]

and where were you and what were you doing with your friends out of town. If he's not cheating yet he's on his way. what does he look like. Good shape and handsome? He'll be cheating with someone at work or acquaintance. not so shapely? hookers or on-line whores which is what he's up to. Better watch your credit cards and checking account. And I hoe to God you're not listening to thee young twits with a one year relationship with a 17 year old boyfriend and CORONA what the hell is "cheating on-line?????

[billieb]

my opinion is he's a liar and you need to dump him now. if he will hide things from you then he cant be trusted period. and a marriage is built on love; respect; and trust.

[no-nickname]

Well he got caught but it sounds like he is looking for some action on the side and not a relationship on the side, so no big deal.He may not even be looking for action. If you go on those sights and sign up like you are looking for action you get to see alot of real people naked and hear about their desires. Real people in action is way better than porn so he is likely just looking for a some spank material.

[aconti0720]

some females would be completely outraged about this. i personally would be a little upset,but not offended. when your married after so long (for males) things tend to get a little boring in your sex life. it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you, or even that he would actually sexually encounter another female. in most cases men need a little extra excitement. if you want to keep your husband off the porn sites spice things up for him a little. and remember just because he was visiting these sites doesn't always mean he was actually going to cheat, it may have crossed his mind but i'm sure he loves you enough to not hurt you like that. P.S: it's in men's nature to look at things like that. statistics say men think about women pretty much most of their day!

[Sarah7532]

He doesn't remember doing that? That's a pretty sorry excuse... of course he did it, no one else could have. And yes, if the pictures were saved in a folder titled "pics" then he put them there. If he isn't going to be honest with you about this, he won't be honest about anything. Sorry.

[crissygirly]

I have never been in this situation... but one of my friends was. She has since then left her hubby and met someone deserving of her. That said... you have a choice to make. You have to decide HOW much this bothers you and IF you should trust your husband!! He is either... trying to have an affair, has had an affair, or he thinks it is OKAY to do what he is doing and you don't seem to be that bothered so he thinks you are condoning it!! And if you are searching his email then you obviously KNOW something is going on or else you wouldn't be snooping. You have to make the call as to whether or not this bothers you enough to do something about it... or just stay and live with it. I would suggest marital counseling at the very least. He has some kind of a sex issue... or needs more attention... or he is hoping you will dump him so he can get some more loving somewhere else. Whatever the case... you need to NOT make threats... decide what you are going to do and what you will put up with and do it!! Good luck, I really wouldn't want to be walking in your shoes. If it were me I would get rid of internet at my house, delete all of his email accounts, and throw the computer in the bathtub and tell him not to log on and to start talking right now... but that is just me.

[BackW4880]

keep up your investigation work... sooner or later he will not cover up his tracks

[AlB5968]

he may not be cheating yet but must be thinking about it. The two of you have to start doing more things together - take him with you perhaps the next time you are out of town with friends. I don't think it would be possible to sign up for a discreet encounter and not remember it but he may and probably does have a different name on messenger so you didn't get messages. Perhaps you need to have a talk between the two of you and decide how you are going to make your marriage better or it may not make it.

[lostman]

I think the more important question to ask yourself is what are you going to do if the end result matched what you are thinking now.What you have found out are merely what he has tried doing on line, there is nothing on if he really have them done in person.Of course, all wives will not like such behaviour of their husbands. BUT, looks like there is no trust in you to him and no respect in him to you here. also any idea why your man has to do all these on line? any problem between the 2 of you?take a step back, look at the bigger picture, instead of getting angry, try logic out the cause of all such actions, if you were to solve the issue here, yet not taking a blaming/he is wrong kind of mindset.2 of you go for counselling, it helps to identify the root cause.

[Kaboom]

What would he do with you if he found out you were looking for a secret romance on the net????? What would you say if I asked you this same question about my husband. I think this is about as bad as it can get.....who knows if he met someone.

[Quasimodo19574667]

Heh, heh...boy lady...he sucks at lying. Doesn't remember setting up a profile on a dating site huh? So something that requires you to fill in the blanks and create a profile just 'slips his mind'. "I don't remember doing that" doesn't translate to "I didn't do that" does it? So..there's your first admisiion of guilt there. The old "Maybe I did...maybe I didn't". And the picture of the half naked broad? In a seperate folder marked "Pics". Check the properties...see when the folder was created.Man...what a lousy liar. You've caught him cold with the goods in hand. Time to make him squirm.

[Dillon]

I smell a rat and a fool: A rat for doing what he's doing and a fool for not covering his tracks...

[Wisdom]

Well my husbadn watchs porn almost all the time I think taht is just normal for men. And the dating sight I have seen them to don't worry about to much unless you see somethign strange like coming home late cloths and I mean you have already confronted him and he told you what is going on why don;t you beleive him? Ask your self that question? Is he a player? The dating site sometime are pop up sights you sign up for one thing and then they send you information and who is avaliable. Check is credit card then you will see if he paid for the sight and if he did then he is looking for something and then ask the question you don;t remember but you paid for the sight.

[leavingtraces6110]

Two words. He's LYING. (Been through that path, done that.)You cannot believe him, seriously, when he says, "I don't know why that's there" or "I don't remember".Bottom line....if this is a deal breaker for you, you have to let him know you will not stand for it. If he then does it again, and you don't want him doing it, you have to stick to your guns, and leave the situation.I know how hurtful this situation is. I really feel for you.But let me give you a shortcut. Save you some time.No matter how much crying you do...no matter how much disbelief you feel that someone that truly loves you could do this and betray you when YOU haven't,no matter how much you DON'T want it to be true, and want to believe in him....if he won't even own up to the crap he's doing when you bust him red-handed....then you cannot trust a word he says.I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[AmericanBeauty0234]

Why are you still bothering with his email? You've already caught the man in his lies. Either you're going to put up with this behavior, or you're not. Make up your mind.

[lahockeyg]

Sounds like he is either cheating or getting ready to cheat. You guys need some help if you are gonna make this one work!

[ColleenO6076]

What do you mean you don't know what's up? Are you blind?

[luvspace]

Calm down, way down, your not going to be able to do a darn bit of good if your flipping out. I would get the babies and go to Moms for the night, if Mom isn't there, go to your girl friends.You've been hit with to much crap, you need to get awayGod bless.

[MarkM]

I prefer the smaller dating sites and the niche sites. I recommend tryinghttp://www.hotwomenrichmen.com