Can I refuse the divorce?

[hillaryknolan]

I left my husband (together for 3 years, married for 4 months) because I was unhappy. I basically wanted to scare him so he would pull himself together and get an apartment so we didn't have to live with his mother anymore. Now he's claiming that I cheated on him because I moved in with a 3 coworkers, 2 men, and one woman. And he wants nothing to do with me. I left 2 weeks ago, and he already claims to have a lawyer, doesn't want to see me again, doesn't want to talk about it at all, and he told me he never loved me. He said that i can't refuse the divorce, and that i'll be forced to sign the papers. i love him so much, and want to drag this out as long as possible so hopefully he'll change his mind. Plus, don't you have to be married for at least a year to get a divorce? - i live in Tennessee, if that helps law-wise.

[KristiS9000]

I think you kind of dug yourself a hole. You left him to prove a point to scare him you were playing games there is no such thing as pretending to leave someone in marriage. His is angry and hurt. I am not sure what you expect. You don't have to sign the papers but it doesn't mean he will ever get back together with you. The courts and order it to be done also but that will take time.

[catdogpenny]

Yo grow up. Give him the divorce. If its ment to be it will be. You don't have to be married a minimum time to be divorced. I was only married six months. I was miserable so i left and want a divorce i just know he's draggin it out to piss me off. Don't do that to your husband. Just give him what he wants. If you guys are ment to be together he'll come back to ya. Hope this helps.

[SteveF]

Christ, how old are you? Twelve? Move on. Forget it. He's not going to change his mind. The only thing you are going to delay is what's going to happen anyway. He's right, the court will decide when it's over if you won't. Get a grip.

[LisaA]

You can refuse to sign drag this out for a year or two and do a lot of damage to both yourself and your (soon to be ex) husband. And then a judge will grant the divorce no matter if you want it or not. The only ones who win in this situation are the lawyers.

[gdc]

You screwed up! making ultimatums are not a good thing except in extreme cases like abuse, drug use, etc. I am not an attorney which is who you should be asking your question. Just call one. Most are kind enough to answer a question like that. For free!

[GunDream3787]

britney was married what, 56 hours?I am sorry you are going through with this, but I honestly don't understand why you want to stay married to someone who didn't get the hint, didn't pull himself together, has absolutely no trust and is now saying he never loved you. What now, what if he changes his mind and decides to forgive you? How long with he throw your "infidelity" in your face? And probably in front of his mother, since there is no sign you guys are getting an apartment anytime soon...He doesn't sound like a keeper, as much as you love him, give yourself some time, and you will find someone much better who is willing to give his 100% for your relationship to work.

[Tarheelmom]

It sounds like your marriage is over. If you can not convince him that you did not cheat than there is no trust. You didn't say he moved out from his mother's. If you go back you are right back where you started from plus the separation will leaving you both questionning on what each other were doing during that time. The biggest problem is he is telling you that he never loved you. Why would you even want to be with this mama's boy at this point?? Move on with your life and next time find someone who has their own place and not under their mother's roof.

[morningstar6707]

nope!!!

[VirgoRose]

Contesting a DivorceQuestion of the Day:how can i contest a divorce. and what does contesting a divorce mean? Answer:Contesting a divorce means that you disagree with something in the Complaint for Divorce. You contest it by filing an Answer with the Court and serving a copy on your husband, in which you deny each statement in the Complaint with which you disagree.This answer came from the below web site it has valuable information that you may be interested in looking into. Personally I would have sat an communicate with my husband before walking out you may have lost him forever and are no worse off then before. I would keep trying to talk to him and see if you can't explain what you wrote above maybe it will work what do you have loose anyways Right? Best of Luck!!!

[KJ2982]

if you were going to bluff, you should have been ready to live with the consequences.

[AlS]

Times have changed... Either you sign it or not, he'll get the divorce by what they call, default. What you did is called "abandonment" and that is grounds for divorce. You left the marital home. You also moved in with 2 men (and a female) which doesn't look good even if it's just a roommate situation. In addition, there's no pre-set amount of time as to how long you should be married before you divorce. It's moreso that you both fulfill the residency req's of your state and/or county where the divorce is filed. You can also contest his filing BUT you have to be prepared for the process.FYI:http://www.divorcesupport.com/divorce/Tennessee-Divorce-Laws-740.html

[Iceman]

why would you not comply to signing the paper even though you say you love him....if you loved him you would sign that paper since you struck a dagger into his heart by *leaving* him. The cheating thing I have no clue about but the reason he says you cheated is simply because there was TWO males and 1 female in that place, your words alone would not help you with stating your innocent in the matter since you previously Left him. When you said its only been 2 weeks and he already wants a has a lawyer and wants the divorce, it sounded like you were surprised...any man in their right mind would divorce any woman that left him and *moved* into a place with 3 people she knows quite well (2 guys, 1 woman), because that is just a slap to the face of the Husband.btw, I hope he gets a place and lets some other woman move in just to let you see how it feels.sorry but thats how karma will work, and yes he can divorce you anytime he wants and if you don't sign the papers you will lose anything of substantial value to him if the lawyer is presence(witness for court). Once the papers Are finally signed by you after dis-agreeing the first time, and he will most likely have a lawyer with him when he brings you the papers..if not then you were lucky

[flagger_guy4728]

There is a number of mistakes here.The first one may have been marrying a guy who wants to stay with mommy.The second is the mistaken idea that you can save a marriage by leaving.The third would be trying to avoid the inevitable divorce you set in motion.

[shasha]

Okay lets recap you moved out to scare him into being the husband you want , your mad now because he thinks you left him for another man, then you want to drag things out because you want to protest the divorce!! There are something missing has your husband cheated on you? Is he a mommas boy? And you don't have to be married for a year to get a divorce you can fight the divorce by asking the judge to order you both to get marriage counseling, you played a trump card and you can't be mad at that man for not wanting to play you moved out to play a game and to trick him into acting the way you want him to be but you should have tried talking to your husband first ( keep in mind he is hurting and upset like you he does love you he just angry ) you go to show him you love him and you'll do what ever it takes to regain his trust and that you didn't cheat on him like he think you did!!

[bonnieboobabe]

I know nothing about Tennessee law, but have been married and divorced twice. In my state, if you have ever been alone in a residence with a male who is not related to you for more than 2 hours and he can prove it, he has you for adultery, doesn't matter if you were having sex or not and he wouldn't have to prove that you were. And being that you left him, I doubt seriously that he wouldn't be granted a divorce if he wants one. You left in order to scare him... that sounds like emotional abuse. How does he know you havn't cheated on him? You put him through all of this because you wanted your way about something. When you left, you didn't consider how it might affect him, and you obviously didn't know him well enough, even after 3 years to know how it would affect him. You just did what you wanted to do at the time, without any consideration of him or how it would affect your own future if it didn't go exactly like you planned. Why didn't you pull yourself together and get an apartment for the two of you, if you didn't like living with his mother? After all you've already done to him, I'm sure he'll appreciate you trying to drag out the divorce too! I'm sure the huge attorney fees will make him want you back! And if you really loved him, you'd be more concerned about the damage you've done to him and his healing, instead of just worrying about getting him back to satisfy your own selfish desires, still. Trying to satisfy yourself is what got you in this situation. If you ever want this man back, maybe learning to think of him instead of you, over time, might bring him back, but I really wouldn't count on that because you just don't seem to think things thru at all, to foresee consequences, or how what you do affects others.If you really want him back, you are going to first have to accept that it will happen on his time frame and not yours, and that what you want and need from him really doesn't matter right now and probably won't for a long time. You would also have to be able to change the way you think about what "YOU" want and need all the time and change the focus to him and his wants and needs. I would definitely get out of the room mate situation first. Do not call, pester, beg, or do anything to upset him in any way. I would talk to a lawyer because you may end up divorced before you can make this any better.Don't do anything before you get out of the male room mate situation. When he calms down enough that you can talk to him or get him a message, say or write, "I am sorry. I didn't think. I didn't realize that I could hurt you so badly. When and if you feel up to it, I would like to apologize in the proper way and promise to let you say whatever you feel you need to say to me without interruption, or argument as I realize now that I have truly hurt you and have probably never considered you or your feelings as I should have."And if this gets him to talk to you, you let him get what he needs to get off of his chest and say whatever he wants and you keep to your word and don't say a word and don't break down crying trying to get his sympathy. He has no reason to have any for you. Stand there and take it like you know you desserve it as long as he keeps his hands off of you. If he calls you names, accuses you, whatever, you let him. When he's done you say, "I understand now and I'm sorry. Thought you might need to say these things to me and just wanted you to have the opportunity, and to show you that I'm thinking of you too for a change. That's all." Then leave. Never, ever throw anything he said to you during that up in his face. He is angry, hurt, probably humiliated and he might say anything, even stuff he knows isn't true! You take it, knowing this, and still keep your word and apologize. He will probably talk to you again eventually if you pull that off, but if you don't change your way of thinking, I doubt it'll do any good.

[ColleenO3780]

No you don't have to be married a year, all you have to do is consumate the marriage. Seeing how you left him he does have grounds for divorce. Infedelity won't do it because courts no longer recognize infedlity however you left...gone for two weeks...that is called abandoment and he CAN file for divorce on those grounds. You don't HAVE to sign but that doesn't mean he won't be granted a divorce.