dealing with the grief

[starshimmer]

It took me a very long time to deal with just grieving, it seems. It's almost like someone died, instead of being separated. There are times when I feel quite all right, almost normal, and then this uncontrollable sadness and grief just floods through me.

And sometimes I just find myself in a rage, too. I want to hurt him back. I know all this is probably pretty normal as far as reactions go, but I was wondering how long this process goes on? It's been six months, and although I'm better, it still sits pretty hard on me.

Has anyone felt this way?

[nolongerafool]

Oh yeah, I know how you are feeling. I think part of it is incredibly sad. I am not sure if you are a country music fan, but Darryl Worley had a song out 4 or 5 years ago called I miss my friend and it is about a wife who died. But I listened to it lately because it reminded me of losing my husband because I will miss the love/ friendship/life/dreams my husband and I once shared. On the other hand I am so mad I play Kiss this by Aaron tippin alot, which is about leaving a "no-good rotten cheater, good for nothing" man. I know people have to let themselves work out grief, or it will hurt them in the long run. In the end I hope to forgive him, pull myself up from my bootstraps and just dust him off. No sense spending tons of energy, when there is a whole beautiful summer world out there. I suppose we are better off spending the summer walking in parks, laying on the beach or by the lake, boating, kiteflying, salsa dancing, skydiving, waterskiing, reading spending time with friends and family and eating ice cream before it melts! I wish you much happiness, you deserve it!!!

[SerenBaker]

Grieving and anger are all part of the process and it's natural to feel both. For me, it wasn't grieving over losing him as much as it was losing the dream of what I thought married life would be. On the positive side, my life after we split up has been much better in many ways.

[savannah]

that goes me too. I can be somewhere, just doing something ordinary, like going to the market, and suddenly I can feel tears welling up and this unbearable sadness hits me. It's awful. Like I'm dragging around a big old stone inside me.

I know this can't last. It would kill people if it did. But I will say this. I understand what people mean by broken hearts now.