Bitsy
06-03-2007, 05:14 AM
I have one question before I inform you all of the sordid details. What is he thinking and what are his intentions?
I am 24 years old. I met a 35 year old man at a dinner party through mutual friends. He got my phone number from my friend and proceeded to call me. For over 3 weeks I did not return his calls but he continued to pursue me. Finally, we talked and he won me over with his charm and great personality. We agreed to go out on a date.
2 mths into the situation he appeared to be unnaturally busy so I asked him what the situation was and he informed me that he had 3 children that he has primary custody of. He told me that he knew he was wrong for not telling me but that he hadn't dated in a while and he really liked me but that he thought I wouldn't want to see him anymore when I found out he had children. I was obviously furious when I found out but we continued to see each other after this.
For the next 7-8 mths (which brings me to where we are now) we have been in a relationship. We have taken trips together, I attend his basketball games, I know his friends, he knows mine. He even invited myself and my friends to his upcoming birthday extravaganza. When I told him I had to move out of my apartment he offered to let me stay at one of his beautiful homes which I could never afford on my own (he's in real estate). Anyway, for the last 1- 2 months our situation has began declining, mostly because he has always made it clear that his children are his primary focus and the amount of time we spend together can only be limited. However, I feel that we have fallen into an emotional relationship - over the last 8 mths we talk several times a day.
We both agreed that our relationship had turned into more of a friendship than anything (we haven't been intimate in perhaps 2 mths) and I told him that I wanted him to tell me the absolute truth about everything. Finally, after I continued to prod him - he told me he is married. I really try not to judge people but I can't understand why he would do this to me - but then I think about what he is doing to his wife. Why the house? Why invite me to his birthday? He's not trying to sleep with me anymore - why does he call? When I asked him he quietly told me, "I still care."
So in conclusion - obviously I'm hurt. I'm definetly not going to be intimate with him because I'm disgusted, however, we still talk. It's like going through a really f**&ed up breakup. Can someone that isn't bitter just explain this crazy thought process? I just need to understand so I can get on with my life.
Thanks.
I am 24 years old. I met a 35 year old man at a dinner party through mutual friends. He got my phone number from my friend and proceeded to call me. For over 3 weeks I did not return his calls but he continued to pursue me. Finally, we talked and he won me over with his charm and great personality. We agreed to go out on a date.
2 mths into the situation he appeared to be unnaturally busy so I asked him what the situation was and he informed me that he had 3 children that he has primary custody of. He told me that he knew he was wrong for not telling me but that he hadn't dated in a while and he really liked me but that he thought I wouldn't want to see him anymore when I found out he had children. I was obviously furious when I found out but we continued to see each other after this.
For the next 7-8 mths (which brings me to where we are now) we have been in a relationship. We have taken trips together, I attend his basketball games, I know his friends, he knows mine. He even invited myself and my friends to his upcoming birthday extravaganza. When I told him I had to move out of my apartment he offered to let me stay at one of his beautiful homes which I could never afford on my own (he's in real estate). Anyway, for the last 1- 2 months our situation has began declining, mostly because he has always made it clear that his children are his primary focus and the amount of time we spend together can only be limited. However, I feel that we have fallen into an emotional relationship - over the last 8 mths we talk several times a day.
We both agreed that our relationship had turned into more of a friendship than anything (we haven't been intimate in perhaps 2 mths) and I told him that I wanted him to tell me the absolute truth about everything. Finally, after I continued to prod him - he told me he is married. I really try not to judge people but I can't understand why he would do this to me - but then I think about what he is doing to his wife. Why the house? Why invite me to his birthday? He's not trying to sleep with me anymore - why does he call? When I asked him he quietly told me, "I still care."
So in conclusion - obviously I'm hurt. I'm definetly not going to be intimate with him because I'm disgusted, however, we still talk. It's like going through a really f**&ed up breakup. Can someone that isn't bitter just explain this crazy thought process? I just need to understand so I can get on with my life.
Thanks.