how do you deal with this?

[aeiou]

Been married for 3 years, husband has cheated on me via online. He keeps saying he wants out, but at the same time he tries to work things out with me.(not so much ) because he hasn't said 'i love you' in months. Plus he doesn't hug, kiss or touch me in anyway unless he feels he needs 'some lovin' for the night. I love him, but I feel like we are more like roomates than anything else. I have been to myself, hardly talk to him for the same reason. is this worth trying to work out? help.. thank you.he doesn't want to go to counseling.. I have tried.

[tjnstlouismo0821]

Only you can know that. If he isn't willing to go to marital counseling, then get a lawyer. He's just biding his time.

[mergirl]

Apparently the trust is broken so you should seek marriage counseling to help both of you. Only you can decide if the marriage is worth saving. If there is love lost between the both of you why stay in it.

[tickerspam]

When you two got married you promised each other things. I know that in this day it really does not matter any more. Still, you promised each other, to stick together and to be true. It seems to me that you should try to work it out TOGETHER, sit down with him and seriously talk about it, talk about everything! How your feeling and what you want to do about it, listen to him as well. Let him tell you how he's feeling and what he wants to do. Then come to an agreementBest of luck I'll pray for your marriage

[Linni]

If he cannot commit fully, better to let him go on his own way, so you can have freedom to find a man who will treat you the right way. If he is serious about staying together, he MUST show it, first by cutting off the online relationship. If not, byebye......

[motherof4]

SADLY IT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE IT IS WORTH IT. BUT YOU LOVE HIM SO TRY!! ASK HIM IF HE WILL ATTEND COUNCELING WITH YOU, IF HE REFUSES, GO BY YOUR SELF AND WORK ON YOU. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED!! DON'T FORGET YOUR SELF!! HOPE THIS HEALS SOON.

[charmed3989]

If he isnt trying to work it out then Id say get out while you can. Anybody that is truly sorry for what they have done will go to all limits to prove they are sorry. I cant tell you what to do b/c when you are through with him you wouldnt be asking for advice. You still love him and dont want to let go. But if hes not wanting to try then why are you? What would be better for you? its time to stop and think about what you want. and is it unsecure and married or secure and happily single?hope I helped...

[Liz3849]

There is nothing to work out. This joke of a marriage is over for all intents and purposes, except on paper. Why don't you do the paperwork and get it over with. You're wasting your time.

[SunshineQueen]

file for divorce. neither of you sound like you really want to work it out. Wouldn't you rather move on & be happpy with your life?

[Tay-Tay]

I break up with him. You gave him too many chances for him to show his love to you. I say kick him to the curb.

[MagdaleneS]

I don't think he is trying to work things out. I know it hurts, but it will only get worse if you stay with him. I went through something similar and he finally left for the other woman. I met my husband less than a year afterward. If we had worked things out I would still be in that miserable situation.

[sandrao]

girl move on it's obvious he is looking some where else. i know it will be hard to walk away,because i've been there my self. here is one advice i can give you ,no matter how much you cry,curse,pray,screem,you cannot love enough for two.i truly wish you the best.

[luckystar]

if you are unhappy in the marriage,then it time to move on'it sound like he does not want to work to try to make it workthen time to move forward.

[dAyLiTe_DaNcEr]

If he is not willing to work things out in your marriage, then he is not worth the time or energy. Of course you love him but you can't waste your love on a careless person forever. Leave him for a little while and see if he doesnt change for real. If he doesnt, then it's not worth the effort, baby. Love is a horrible thing to waste and I'm sure you can find someone else that can love you back.

[Julia2443]

If your husband refuses to get counseling you have no other choice but to face the truth. You cannot go on living this way and hurting everyday.You can just as well be unhappy without him as well as with him so you have nothing to lose at this point but something to gain and that is your self respect! This is emotional abuse and you have the choice to end it once and for all and put a stop to it. You may still love him but this does not mean that you can go on living with him when he can't and won't be right. You deserve better than the dirty rotten deal he is giving you now and you do not have to settle for that. As long as you allow this situation to go on he is never going to change anything unless he is forced to see that your life will not be kept on hold for him. This may wake him up but then it may not but one thing is for sure ....you cannot keep on doing what you are doing and you have to make that change and leave him to himself. I would never want to be there with anyone for any reason if they did not want me there. Your husband has some very severe issues in his own personal life and always remember that it is more about him than it was ever about you. You take yourself into counseling and find the strength and the courage to find a better way of life for you.You need to find someone else that holds you up in your world and not down.