I need more advice about: Do you think my " husband" is cheating at me?

[mimi72]

Sorry if I do not write correct, my first language is not English.My husband and I we are living apart for about 6 month, but we are not legally separate or divorce, just living apart. But anyway we meet once every two weeks for coffee at any coffee shop just to talk about us. And when I ask him about what we are going to do to save our marriage he answer: please, do not hurry me, I need time and space to think about it! I'm not sure yet but I'm not thinking in divorce.About 1 month and 1/2 ago I was looking online on his cell-phone calls in last 6 months ( we have a share cell-phone plan) and ...I found out that he was talkign with a lady for about 1 month and 1/2 almost every night and his phone calls last between 60 minutes to 160 minutes and he calls late at night after 9:00 pm and during the last month he is talking now with a different lady, crazy??right?hmmm he is dating somebodywhat everybody think ? We still legally married! And they live 1 to 2 hours far away!All the phone calls are 1 to 2 hours far away from his home. Does he is scared me to see him if he dates somebody from here?? I saw a car in his driveway 3 times and was late at night ( I drove by...:=) By the way, we do not have kids

[chessman777fischer]

If you think your husband is cheating on you then yes he probably is.

[Go]

Away=Time for play!

[wantsshy]

He's cheating, or trying to anyway

[BalzacTeabagher]

maybe. but it coul;d be wrok. u never know

[JaneDoe]

get divorced.. meeting for cofee even if its once a week is not a marriage........errrrrrrrrrrr duh

[Deanadoll]

yeah, he's a cheater!

[Renn]

If I were you I would call those number and ask her what is going on!

[ihurtmyhand]

sounds like he is dating other women, im so sorry if he is

[joonl]

i think so.

[DebbieJ]

find another man you will never really be able to trust him again

[Greg7902]

I would say he's at least interested in other women at this point. Your best option would to get him to move back in with you, or divorce him.

[chris_redphoenix]

Well, since you and him are "just living apart" there's higher possibilities of him cheating on you because you give him times away from you so he has freedom to do anything he pleasure. OR you never know if that lady is actually his mother or other relatives he is so longing for to talking with...When it's right time, talk with him about it Hope your marriage can be saved

[CptBlackbeard]

Aaaargh, of course he's cheating. Grow a spine and kick the lilly-livered fool to the high seas!! AAARGH!!!!

[Stormy]

I think you should divorce and move on...seems to me he has women on the side and he says he needs time to figure things out in case she or they leave..he'll still have you.

[Maggie]

You've asked this question 3 times now - are you hoping for a different answer than the ones you're getting?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am516KukImIXziuqfzBiyNnsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid =20071008225035AAumITj

[LindsayJ]

Honestly, I'd wonder about it too. And the only way you can find out about that number is to ask your husband about it. Don't assume that it's another woman it might not be, it could be an old friend from way back. But I know you never know. But it doesn't sound like your husband is being very honest and open with you since you have been apart for 6 months and he is undecided about everything. That is not fair to you. And you did a fine job in writing this.

[catsmother]

HE MAY BE PAYING FOR SEXY TALKY. DITCH HIM. GETY NICE MAN WHO LOVES YOU. YOU DESERVE BETTER. GOOD LUCK

[HEAVENLYCREATURE]

I THINK HE IS KEEPING HIS OPTIONS OPEN. SEEMS TO ME THAT IF HE IS LIVING COMFORTABLY AWAY FROM YOU THEN HE IS PROBABLY SEEING THIS WOMAN. GET A DETECTIVE AND NO I DON'T MEAN THE SHOW "CHEATERS" BUT WHATEVER WORKS. I JUST THINK THAT HE IS TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE. ALSO, THINK SERIOUSLY TO YOURSELF WHAT IF IT TURNS OUT HE IS CHEATING. WILL YOU STILL LOVE HIM? ALSO ARE YOU ALLOWED TO DATE? I'D SAY YOU ARE CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING OBVIOUSLY. PS..........................IF YOU'VE POSTED THIS QUESTION BEFORE STOP WASTING OUR TIME AND CALL THE PHONE NUMBERS. AND IF YOU'VE SEEN A CAR IN HIS DRIVEWAY WHY DON'T YOU GO THE ALL THE WAY AND SEE WHO COMES OUT IN THE MORNING. I THINK HE IS CHEATING. GET THIS ACTION ON CAMERA.

[sharkskeepmoving]

What a sleaze. He's cheating. File for divorce ASAP.

[Kellyp]

well girl u gotta step up and tell him who r u texting? is it some one i should know about? and try to find out who that lady is. ok if that doesn't work out then i think hes cheating with you.

[w13sgirl]

It really sounds like he has moved on. Guys dont generally talk to women for that long, and that much unless they are getting something in return. Sorry. But that is my experience, why dont you ask him what he thinks about seeing other people? his response will tell you everything.

[MissRachel]

Try to get proof..and divorce him on grounds of adultery. Yes I think he's cheating. Get rid of him before he has the chance to do it to you! Hope this helps..and GOOD LUCK!!

[Laura3]

well if it was me i would think the same thing and be pretty pissed.it doesnt absolutely mean that he is cheating, but kind of looks that way.she could just be a friend though..there was this girl that my boyfriend talked to alot when stuff got a little bad between us, he just asked her for advice and stuff since she was a girl.i think you should ask him about it...just say that you went to look at your bill or something and you saw it.

[mafiosu9985]

If your husband hasn't discussed returning to you after 6 months then I would say he isn't really serious about fixing your marriage. You can't possibly have a good relationship if you only meet once every two weeks for coffee. It does sound like he is interested in someone else. He gives you an hour or two over coffee and some other woman is getting his attention every night for an hour or more. Something isn't right. Give your husband a deadline for reuniting with you and if he doesn't stick to it see a lawyer. Keep your phone records.

[tjveni]

It sounds like he has already left. He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He thinks he can have this fling with this lady and then come back to you when he is done. I would make him choose. Tell him you don't want to wast any more of your life waiting for you to make you your mind. Oh and always get a lawyer

[Bingo]

I am sorry, but it sounds like he has moved on, If he is talking every night to a woman and that woman isn't you he has moved on, you should really consider a divorce and give yourself a chance to move on with your life, you deserve to be in a happy relationship, he has no right to have you sit and wait for him when he isn't waiting for you. Good Luck find yourself a good man that will Cherish you .

[spotlite]

next time you have coffee go to starbucks, order a plain coffee as hot as they can get it... go outside and tell him you know he has been dating other women.. see what he says.. be cool and calm.. when he asks for evidence tell him you hired a private detective.. when he gets ugly spill the coffee on him.. and tell him you will see him in court.. and tell him to use his man parts now cause when you get thru with him he will not have them..just scare the stuffing out of him before you leave him, and do it asap.. he doesn't need more time he is exploring like the dog that he is...

[GaryB]

Don't worry about your English, we understand you fine. It does sound like he has some kind of relationship with this woman. It may or may not be sexual. Regardless, it is inappropriate. Married guys should not be having close relationships with other women, even if it's totally "innocent." In other words, he's almost certainly being intimate with her even if that intimacy does not include sex.However, maybe it's not that relationship that worries me as much as his attitude. It sounds like he thinks he has a great thing going there, and it sounds like he's still a little boy inside, not a man.My advice would be to consider whether you want to be married to him or not. If you have children, you answer should definitely be "yes." If not, I still think you should at least think about staying married - divorce is only a good thing in very limited circumstances.If you do decide you want to stay married, ask him what's going on with this lady. Don't accept his excuses about her just being a friend. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you think his relationship with her is inappropriate - remember, it doesn't have to be sexual to be inappropriate! - and that if he wants to keep you, he had better get rid of her immediately. Then keep asking him about her from time to time - he may just call her from another phone. Explain that you're sorry to ask, but he broke your trust before, and he has to win it back now.Whatever you do, don't let him stay in this situation. He thinks he's got the best of both worlds. Don't let him stay there - you are far too precious to be treated like that.

[who_me]

It's rather obvious . He sure doesn't act like a man who wants to be married . It sounds like it is over already . It seems like he's got an ulterior motive for stringing you along . Six months is enough time to be in limbo with this character . He wants to live like a single guy . You want the marriage you had . He won't give it to you . You'll be happier & respect yourself more when you stop meeting him for coffee and give him a deadline before you see a divorce atty . Good luck .

[tonyg]

yes he might be talking to someone else but as far as to say he is cheating it probable is heading in that direction. if you are not living together then it really not cheating because you guys are separated. being married and living apart is not a good thing. all it does give your husband the right to go out and date without having to answer to anyone.

[ShannonT]

Follow this link it will take you to a download site, I have used all in one keylogger and found out about my ex cheating on me this way. It has many downloads that can benefit you. Some are completely free, others free to try and then buy and others to purchase. It will monitor all computer activity so you can see who he's really talking to on the net and etc. If you have a webcam it also has a download (i have not tried it though personally don't have one) where you can set up the webcam anywhere and view it from a remote computer or record everything. With everything you've said it sounds like something is definitly going on, I think you just need to see it to get it across your head that you need to move on and find someone better. I hope this helps!

[CarolT1704]

Yes. It sounds like and looks like he's seeing someone. At this point, he hasn't broken it off with you just in case his lady friend doesn't work out. As long as he thinks you are going to be there, he will keep stringing you along. Don't ask him if he's seeing others, he will say anything to keep you dangling on the line. I know it hurts. But, sometimes letting go is what you have to do. You DESERVE to have someone who loves only you and wants to be with only you. Someone who will respect your relationship and be honest with you. It's hard. But it's not good to be treated the way he's treating you. Go file the papers. It's easier to make the break since you don't have children. I wish you luck. I know that somewhere there is a special someone for you that will be kind and thoughtful of you.C-

[Cinnamon]

I think it is time for you to do some serious talking. Not just idle chit chat. It does sound like he is enjoying this living apart. It gives him the freedom to do what he is doing. Men need 3 things. approval, appreciation, affection. Were all 3 of those things being met in your marriage? You may be headed for divorce. Next time you see him say this. You say all the time do not hurry me. 6 months is not hurrying you. We need to be together, go get counseling, work out our problems or get a divorce. It is not fair to either of us to continue this way......Good luck my dear...

[ImjustLikeU]

it sounds like he's preoccupied with other things than thinking about saving his marriage. You don't have to put up with him...he's obviously moving on..He just doesn't know how to tell you..keep your head high and concentrate on making your life better without him.. no wife deserves to be lied to and cheated on... you deserve better,tell yourself he is not worthy of you

[blahblah]

it is possible to have platonic love between people of opposite sex, meaning this woman could just be a friend of your husband. but at the same token, she could be someone your husband is romantically linked to. so you do not believe in divorce and i can understand if you want to save your marriage. but marriage like any other relationship, is like a 2 way street. love has to come from both sides, not just one. you have to entertain the idea that he is not interested in you any longer. hurtful may it be, i guess it is time for you to move on with your lfe. you could stay and remain true to him but there is no assurance that he'll be back. you could give it another 6 months if you wish depending on how long you can hold on, but if he still cant make up his mind, it means he will never be able to make up his mind. it is entirely up to you to decide what the next step will be. and the best that i can think of is moving on with your life. afterall, we all have only one life to live. we must make the most of it.

[VirginiaB4957]

Unfortunately, it would appear that your husband is not being truthful with you. A healthy marriage is one where there is mutual trust & honesty. If he isn't willing to talk with you about the problems in your marriage, giving him "space" is not going to help. He made a commitment to you and he needs to either honor that commitment, or be up front with you and tell you he can't. You can only do so much, he has to meet you halfway.

[dragonfire0041]

he is cheatingdivorce himdo not waitand here is whyhe is buying timeand trying to set up a new lifewith the other womenso he stalls you with i need space answerwhich is a liehe knows exactly what he is doingand the longer you wait for divorcethe better he will come out of it since he is preparingdeny him thatand catch him off guard