How to get your husband to admit he cheated, or his lover to tell you?

[justme6340]

I have alot of circumstantial evidence that that highly suggests he cheated on me. Ofcourse I have asked him and even confronted him with the evidence and he had a million dollar answer to my questions. I have called her and tried everything to get her to tell me....just flat out asking, damn near begging and pleading with her, I've been nice and not so nice. They are both sticking to their answers that nothing happened. MAYBE thats true, but with the evidence that I found, I highly doubt it. The evidence is: secret phone calls to her from his business cell phone (the bill dont come to my house, goes to his employer, I found out by viewing his bill online) he deletes the call history of them two calling each other, when I asked him if he ever called her, he lied and said, no, just emails, ofcourse he didnt know that I knew he did. So i just let him lie to me. So, he aint gonna tell, too much to loose, but how do I get to her, to get her to tell me?For those of you that will say I am crazy like my first answer. Let me add he cheated once before and did the same thing with that floozy that he is doing with this one. Deleting call history, etc. I know it in my heart, I just want to hear the words by one of them.

[TomS5433]

you're crazy ... nothing happened.... do you love him or not?? are you on a witch hunt??

[mizzgrizz01]

go to downloads. com and get a keylogger for your computer, this keeps track of emails coming and going from your computer..

[babyontheway2469]

Oh god I hate it when this happens, I had to beg my husband for him to confess he was cheating and it ended up being true. Well have you tried maybe counseling, it could be that a professional can help him get that thing out of his system.

[LaJoyaS]

She is not going to tell you because then that would break the trust they have with each other. Which would probably cause him to leave her alone for causing problems in his relationship. The only way she would say something is if he said something first or if you really had evidence. The phone records are evidence of them talking, and is not solid enough to say that they are sleeping together. Now since you have found out that they are talking he is going to cover that up even more so you won't know they are still talking.

[Ktre33]

You know your gut, your gut tells you whats going on. Do you really want to know if he cheated on you? Will it change things? Or you just want a reason out? You should believe him, unless he has lied to you about something like this before. He is your husband:) And you've talked with her? You know if this was me and your husband we would be just talking about how crazy you are acting. Maybe you are giving them a reason to talk, he deletes these calls because he knows if you find it you will go off the handle. I know it's hard, but try to back off and give him some space. You married him for a reason right...because you love him and trust and honour him? Well he married you for the same reasons, believe him and have faith in your relationship because what your doing now is not helping your relationship, its hurting it. Just read that he has cheated before......not good my friend, why not just move on? This guy has some issues he needs to deal with, you sound too good for him.

[TrishM1986]

here is what you do you pack you leave see if that matters to him don't ask anymore questions TELL HIM that you know and don't debate it further HE IS CHEATING she is still around you need to beat the snot out of her. Make him believe you mean business because he is using one of you at least...you are worth more than this so am I so are all the women who dedicate their lives to men only to have their hearts unanisteically ripped out by them.....He needs a crisis before he will admit give him one

[Kelly773]

You are not crazy, so that guy can go....Do you have the $ to hire a P.I.? If not, get a girlfriend and do it like they do in the movies. I've done that once or twice....Especially if it's a girlfriend (or guy) he doesn't know. Collect all the physical evidence you can. Once a cheater, always a cheater and you will always be looking over your shoulder in this relationship if you don't get out now.....Forget about getting to her. They have their story and they're sticking to it obviously.

[hononegah1988]

Call and lie to her and tell her you got some Sexual Disease from him and you want her to be on the safe side...and see if he say's something to you..

[harlysdream66]

you need the fast track method, >>>>>>> this way try this , go away for two weeks, tell him im leaving , i will be at this address,for two weeks, you cant call, email me ,or any thing else, I'm going to think about this sitution. for a while, after two weeks, if im still not happy , i will inform you of my decision , when i return, if i return .... he needs to think about this,a lot while your gone i ve been where you are....... this works and real fast !!!

[CathyC]

How about just calling it like it is and let him go...she can pick up his dirty socks and wash his underwear.There is NEVER too much to lose...only yourself.

[Tina]

Maybe you should try to give some space to your husband and show him that you are strong and that you can live without him, then maybe he will soon realize how important you are to him. If then so, before you get back together, try to confront him and tell him that if you both need a good start, you both should put all the past behind and start with a truthful, honest relationship from now on. If he doesn't buy all of these, then he is such a ________ guy... I think that you deserve better.

[Kat3824]

what i think i would do if i was you is stop trying to find out about what you already know to be true like the phone calls. what i would do is keep my eyes open and ears because if something is happening they will mess up and then you will know for sure. no need to beat yourself up over this.. i know its easier said then done but you can do it. i commend you for giving him a second chance the first time. but i sure wouldn't the second time. first time can be a mistake and just plain dumb but 2nd and so on times is someone that chooses to deliberately hurt you. but like i said i would drop what your doing now and just keep your eyes and ears open cause if they are doing it they will mess up sometime. don't let it consume you. good luck

[Aussiemum2027]

You're not crazy.But it looks like neither of them are going to admit it..............Just like children dont admit it when they know they will get into trouble.With you confronting then, the would have to be crazy to keep seeing each other etc, as they would know its only a matter of time, that you actually do get your proof.I really feel for you as I went through the same thing.Tell him you want to see his call history, and that if he has 'nothing to hide' then why is he deleting it?Tell him and her that you know they are lying to you ..........call their bluff.....and maybe say that you have evidence and proof that theres something going on, and tha way you can 'trick' them into admitting.Go with him when he goes out...........answer his phone before he can.....make yourself KNOWN.......Go with your gut feeling though, you CANT live like this, it will wear you out.

[ChrisB]

Confront him and tell him what you know.Tell him that you can not be part of his life under these conditions. If he loves you, he must be loyal to you and to no other woman. Unless he is looking for an excuse for a divorce.Get some counseling together and find out if you can fix the problem.

[creequealley]

I would say if you caught him once and you've got the same RED flags again, what are you waiting for? First I would've printed the cell bill, if you saw it with your own eyes and he's lies about it, again, do you think he's just going to change? Probably not. Basically you know what you saw, you know that he lied, this isn't the first time, so ask yourself do you think it's going to be the last?? You may never get them to admit anything, but you can't deny what you saw and he said never happened.

[sarahjane]

If he's cheating, he is not going to tell you. Period.I had a friend who was in a very similar situation. She asked him over and over again, and he had her convinced that she was insane. She even started therapy because of it. Eventually, they divorced, and a year later he FINALLY admitted to her that she was right all along.He doesn't respect you. He isn't phased about lying to you. Why would he suddenly be honest?

[heretohelp]

OK if you are really sure and your heart will tell you go to him and try useing reverse phcycollaogy on him, tell him that you talked to this women and she finally told you the truth. ask him why he didnt tell you himself and then see how he reacts,

[vtjames7433]

Funny how we never see questions about all the cheating wives and gfs out there. Either way, if you suspect your significant other is cheating, confront them and don't let them sweet talk you.

[msalb]

HONEY WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!!! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT HE'S GOING TO AMITT IT TO YOU!!! AWW HELL NO!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL WITH THIS JERK WHEN YOU KNOW HE DID THIS TO YOU BEFORE,YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT BULLSHIT!!!,FIND SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU AND LOVES YOU,SCREW HIM AND THE DAMN HORSE HE RODE IN ON