it stll hurts

[betrayed]

hi, i'm new at this. it's been two years and i'm still in so much pain. it seems like it was yesterday. i was with him for 9 years. we were very happy, or i thought we were, until the last year. he was so good to me everyone would say how lucky i was (or was i)? i worked very hard to put him through school. we had so many plans and dreams until his last year before getting his masters. he had to do his practium and from there he got his job at the same place. by the way he got his masters in psychology and his supervisor for his practium was the head psycologist who also got him the job. two paychecks after his graduation and he was gone with her. they had been having the affair for the year he was there. i had no clue about them but he did change. he started drinking alot when he never drank like that before and doing alot of cociane. i thought that was the problem. one day he said he would be back, got on his bike and he never came back. not for clothes,his tools, or even his truck. till this day two yrs later he hasn,t taken a thing. he would not talk to me so i didn't really know anything. i found out 1 week later and he still won't talk to me or anyone else about it. i found out because i got into his e-mails and the things they wrote about i couldn't belive. every detail about there love life and laughing about me. they were even talking and plotting on how "they were going to lower the bomb".i have played every word of those 40 pages of e-mails over and over in my head for two years. there is so much more but i never talk about this so i need to stop for now. how do i stop hurting so bad?

[SerenBaker]

You destroy all the emails and look ahead. What's done is done and you can't go into the past and change anything. All you can do is to move forward from right now, and you can choose to let him control your life, or you can grab it for yourself and live it for yourself.

Blessings to help you move forward.

[betrayed]

You destroy all the emails and look ahead. What's done is done and you can't go into the past and change anything. All you can do is to move forward from right now, and you can choose to let him control your life, or you can grab it for yourself and live it for yourself.

Blessings to help you move forward.
thank you seren. i'm really trying so hard. i am in counseling, and have been since it happened. i also ended up in a hospital. i had stoped responding. not talking or eating. i lost 18 lbs in two weeks. i'm alot better now but now i forgot how to live. i hate living in the past, but the e-mails have never been seen since. the problem is it's a record in my head and i can't stop it. i try all i can but i lost control of my thoughts. i want to live my life more than anything else, but i don't know how.

[betrayed]

i have been going through this journey for two yrs and have gone through many stages and emotions. i would be happy to help and support anyone. my love to all.

[dtrrr1ho]

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[usarecred]

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