Getting the pictures out of my head.

[starshimmer]

Has anyone else had a problem with dealing with one's imagination? I had a very hard time, for a very long time, just getting the pictures out of my head of my husband and this other woman. I envisioned them laughing at me behind my back, enjoying the secrecy and making me feel like a complete fool.

How have some of you handled this?

[SerenBaker]

You have to realize that they're probably not talking or thinking about you at all. It's hard to admit that you're not the center of his attention, but if you were, he'd be home and not out with her.

[Jewel]

That's true. As harsh as it sounds, if he really was thinking about you, he probably wouldn't be doing the things that he's doing. It's hard to get the pictures of my husband with another woman out of my head, but I know that he probably wasn't thinking about me, or doing it out of revenge.

[starshimmer]

Yes, I agree. I doubt he's thinking of me at all! Wish that made me feel better, lol. Still, it's hard to get those pictures out of my head, no matter what they're thinking at the time. Obviously, I am the one obsessing...

It seems worse at night, when things settle down. I guess it's easier to keep busy during the day, but at night, well, that's when it all seems to hit me.

[savannah]

I guess everybody's had to face this one. I've always dreaded running into them someplace, and I actually stayed away from one place in particular, even tho I loved going there, because of it.

[Jewel]

I don't know if it's easier or harder, since I don't know the woman that he's cheating on me with. Her name is Caitlyn, supposably, and I don't know anybody by that name. I don't know if I want to know or not.

Since I don't know her, I can't picture her in my head. It's like I imagine him with a question mark, and it kind of hurts because I can't picture him touching somebody or even looking at them the same way he does to me.

[SerenBaker]

As long as your life revolves around him and her and them, and not YOU, you're going to be living for them, which is not helpful for you. They're living their lives, and you're stuck living theirs as well. You can't move forward until you let go. Get counselling or talk to a minister or someone who can help teach you the tools to focus on you and your needs and not what someone else is doing.

[savannah]

that's wonderful advice, SerenBaker. Unfortunately, it's hard to do, even with the help of more or less disinterested parties to help you. Like Jewell, I too imagine him being with her, and the more I try to push it away, the worse it gets sometimes.

It's just a vicious circle. And I have a feeling that it's just going to take time to get past it.

[jessi_rubin]

You got to drop your hellucinations. Because if he is really seeing someother women then you probably must start filing a divorce against him because it makes no point in feeling humiliated unnecessarily and loosing self respect when you are still caring for someone who doesnt care for you. If he really had loved you then he would have been with you not her.