My husband is gay, shall I cheat?

[sarah30]

After two years of marriage, I have realized that my husband is gay. He only slept with me 3 times to have a baby, and before or after that no sex. I have caught him searching gay online dating, and found out he had male sexual partners in the past. I can't file for divorce, because my residency is on the line, I have to wait for another 4 years to sort out my residency. In the meantime, as he lied to me about his sexuality, and ignored me all the way through, do you think it's a wise idea to find a partner for myself outside marriage, or shall I wait for another 4 years, to have my residency sorted, which means that I'll grow older and feel miserable for another 4 years?

[IspeaktheTruth]

If you get caught cheating you have to divorce so no.

[Gloria1986]

that totally sucks!! i totally agree with you go ahead and cheat he deserves it! but stay with him so u can have ur residency!!! then break it off!!! GOOD LUCK best wishes!!

[liLmikey]

i have the perfect solution. go buy a strap-on and exchange sexual favors. good luck with that

[kimh9083]

Have you asked him about this? Told him that you know? Maybe he will not care if you pursue other relationships. Has he done this. Have a frank conversation with him about it.

[mitchiegirl]

No please.... talk to him and sort things out.

[7644]

Sort out an agreement between you two as you did with your residency. Also, never purchase anything big with someone your not in love with. Gay people wouldn't be doing this if they weren't accepted and given the choice of marriage. Now they try to not be gay and it ruins lives of others, plus it spreads the gay gene. Not that theres anything wrong with gays, I have a gay sister and some friends. I also once thought I was, but it isn't the thing for me so I quit football. I joined for the wrong reasons. I would say to my lesbian wife "hey, why don't we just enjoy and meet other people?"

[somefemale]

Does he know you know? Maybe he won't mind if you see other people and divorce when your residency is worked out. You'll have an open marriage.

[Natalie]

wow, that sounds like a difficult situation. have you tried talking to him about it? i'm assuming since you have a child together, and you're concerned about your residency status, that you want to keep things amiable between the two of you. i would be really careful, if i were you. perhaps you should ask him to seek marriage counseling. it isn't just for fixing marriages, it's also like having a referee for negotiations. i would also suggest getting counseling for yourself. 2 years of such a cold deceptive marriage must have had an impact on you, and you don't want to hit the dating world with such a deep wound unattended!

[twinky248757]

don't...wait till 4 years..but while waiting...spend his money to make you feel good about your self.. go to salons...exercise ...always look good so that when the time comes...you can easily get someone better than him!!!!

[bluesky]

i am not sure but if you have a child i don't think you have to worry about it that could be wrong check into itget a lawyer that handles that sort of thing and find out. 4 yrs is a long time to stay with the jerk.do what you have to do

[Vinu]

Too bad it took you two years to know him.Never try to cheat him... that old philosophy of an eye for an eye rules no more.Be bold, talk to him more, be more assertive, open, and encourage him to have moe persoanl relations with you and slowly try to bring in more sexual life. There is nothing impossible in this world, it needs a little patience.Divorce should be the last option... think about your baby. You have mentioned nothing against your husband in terms of he looking after you. If he is a caring husband and a caring father, I'm sure you can bring him between your .... (not joking)....All the best.

[fantasticfleur]

I understand how you feel, I come from different country too. you need to sit down to talk about it without make him angry with you. be understanding, if he's gay, is not his fault for being gay, he might confuse himself for what he is. some people discover for what they are in the different time. be wiser, ask him carefully, tell him that you are understand, be very patient if you care about your residency. if you decide to separate wait until your residency finalise, think about your child, after all he is the father of your child, if you talk to him wisely make decision carefully, you end up to have fantastic relationship even you separate. good luck

[ColleenO4987]

Did you pay any attention to the vows you made at your wedding? His being gay has nothing to do with your desire to phuck around...if that's what you want get a divorce, and next time get to know someone before you marry them.

[sexsymbol]

just stick fingers up his butt to keep him happy!!!

[punxsutawneyphil8667]

Find a bisexual guy that you both like.

[MEDIC6809]

Just because he can't keep his vows dosen't mean you shouldn't either. It will be hard, but in the end you can say you took your marriage serious, and you were faithful. Good Luck

[imbackagain]

you are free to do what ever you please and i if you need someone to cheat with let me know.

[rossx]

We are all human and all have needs. Do what you must. How did you not know he was gay. I sleep with my gfs more than 3 times a day never mind in two years.

[ToniaM]

So you married him ONLY to get residency? and you are upset that he lied to you? Looks like you are BOTH useing one another for one thing or another. But HEY, Don't cheat! You did take vows, and you did say through good & bad! Right?I think you need to talk to him, find out what he wants out of this marriage, and IF IT IS a marriage to just keep you in the country, and he gives his blessings, then go for it. But make sure first. Don't trade hurt for hurt, it is immature and dishonest. Talk first then see what he says!

[ThereIsNoWay]

Don't just cheat but rather confront him on your accusation and sit down and talk to him calmly...if he admits he is gay then there is nothing wrong with that and talk out a solution that you both will be happy with (i.e.- he has his boyfriends and you may date and see whomever you want). Hope all goes well.

[matakovich6026675]

if he is gay stay with him for the 4 yrs. find someone on the side to fill your needs. after the 4yrs is up make him choose the HOLE or the POLE.

[JamesWatkin0709]

I think you need to use your head and stay faithful. When you are married at least a certain period of time to someone, you are eligible for soc sec off them when you get older and to some of their retirement benefits. Research this and plan accordingly.Meanwhile, squirrel away every penny you can. Nothing traceable. Get a safety deposit box at a bank other than the one you bank at and a post office box that only you know about as the address on file for the safety deposit box. Then put the money you save in there.Then make sure you are on his life insurance policy and make sure it stays paid up. He is living a dangerous lifestyle meeting strange men for sex. If he gets killed by one, you and your child will need the policy to live. Pretend you are happy as can be. You can cry when he isn't home. If you are renting, insist you get a house. Tell him you want things in your name, to make sure he loves you. Use your feminine charm. Support him in his career so that he can earn more and more and continue to spend as little as possible and get your hands on as much cash as you can to hide away.Also, copy any dirt you find on him and place the original in the safety deposit box and the copy with a trusted member of your family. You will need it in the divorce. Spend your time making yourself successful. With education. Do not get a job until after you do finally divorce him as in the divorce you will be able to show he supported you and you will need continued financial support.You could let your emotions rule and run out and screw around. But in the end, using your head will provide a better start for you and your child when you do leave.

[maximus]

Well, it's hard to tell....You can speak with him about his sex relationship with you. Tell him that you found he's been looking into gay dating site. If you are into waiting for residency, talk to him about it, tell him you need it to work legally and report taxes. And tell him as an excuse that later on you plan to go to college to study something, but you need the papers for that. In this relationship you must be very clear and honest to what you think of your partner. You need to tell him what you have been thinking lately, and that you need him to confirm or not whether he is gay or not.if he says so..... Tell him you understand it and what he would like to do about it, you as a woman want a partner that can share with and have pleasure with. (no fakeness) He might do love to you, but feel nothing, it's not fare you know? Ask him that since he is gay you would like the idea to go out with someone else without breaking the marraige, becuase you want to have fun too, and you want a Macho man, meaning straight guy, who loves woman.Make him understand what you want after what you have found out. If he starts getting annoyed about the conversation, just stop. and say we'll talk another time when you cool down. and just go ahead and have a secret date.your secret date should know that you are married. And when your husband finds out, you simply say........ You would not listen, what i wanted to tell you. Step-by-step. Be patient.

[badgirlsbadboy9866]

find someone elseI'm available

[IRISB]

yes