should i stay or should i leave?

[mariaho]

im a 22 year old mother i have a son thats 19 months ive been married for all most 3 years with in thoes 3 years my husband has cheated on me hit me called me every name under the sun and at times gets rough with our son im to the point were i dont fully trust him but i hav no family and he wont let me have friends and he wont let me get a job so i have no place to leave to i was online playing a game and a guy started talking to me we have not been talking for a while we get along really well ive met him severall times now and im falling in love with him he all so has a son 4 month older than mine and even they get along great he live about 30 min. from me and has now asked me to move in to the apt. next to him so we can be closer i want to ill ba able to get a job and live free but i dont want to hurt my husband by leaving should i leave and move closer this other guy that i could really see a future with or stay with my husband?

[Yolie]

If your husband has hit you then leave him, dont worry about hurting him because he obviously doesnt care about hurting you

[Shubunkin9997]

If your husband is abusing you, you should leave for that reason, not for another man. After you have divorced your husband, then you will be free to see others. If you start up an affair before your divorce, it WILL backfire on you.

[killbasabill]

Pack your rags and beat feets to the nearest shelter for battered women. They'll help you with the difficult decisions.

[RunAmuk4Fun]

first - DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT move into someone else's house straight from hubby's. You have no idea that this other guy isn't worse. Get out of your situation first - get settled, then pursue a relationship.You do have someplace to go. Look in the phonebook or get online and find a woman's shelter close to you. Call them TODAY and get your child out of that abusive environment.

[matakovich602]

leave get out and move on. live for you and your son. if you like this other guy and he treats you right then go for it

[trss_sctt]

Umm babe, a man doesnt hit his woman or his child. A spanking for the child if needed ( 19 months is a little young to be hitting) Spanking for the woman in the bedroom ( if she wants :) But never out of anger. Leave, but dont assume that the grass is greener on the other side. leave for you and your child , not for some other man

[Laura7356]

If your husband has hit you and been rough with your son in any way you need to leave him. You worry about hurting him, but look what you has done to you and is starting to do to your baby. I wouldnt necessarily recommend moving by that new guy or starting any kind of relationship with him until you get the situation with your husband fixed first. The most important thing is to protect your son and yourself

[sweetsweetjane]

no, you shouldn't leave your abusive relationship for something else. You need to get out of your homs ASAP. Call sistercare or 211 and ask for help. They will refer you to the right place. You can get childcare and job skills/references until you are on your feet. Continue talking to the new guy, fine, but you need to be financially, emotionally and physically secure before you start a new relationship.

[LoLo7320]

leave the bastard!!! he obviously treats you like sh!t!! so why not leave. why bother trying to fix something that isnt gonna go anywhere unless he changes. which in most case, they wont. he brought this upon himself. however, it might be hard to leave him if he doesnt even let you have friends. pshhh. your husband has already hurt you and disrespected you, so screw him...i went thru the same thing, and it took for him to hit me in front of my daughter for me to finally leave.. dont let it get to that point...

[rachelb]

I wouldn't suggest anyone stay in an abusive relationship. Especially when you have a child in the mix. That's a sad situation. I hope you make the right decision. Good Luck.

[KristenD]

The solution which I find best is leaving. You say that you don't want to hurt him by leaving but look at it this way you are beening hurt when he lay his hands in you. God put men on this earth for a purpose and one of them were not to hit on their wives. You should leave you are a mother and you are young there is more to the world that you need to see. There are friends that you need to have and vent with, but there is only one person that can help you best with the answer to this question. That person is GOD. There is nothing to hard for him to solve. Ask him for the answer ans pray and everything will be alright if you just believe GOD will step through right on time and if it's meant to be with the other guy god will allow it.l You don't want to met him in hell because cheating is a sin so PLEASE PRAY.

[ToniO]

The minute that so called "man" laid a hand on you should have been the clue. You need to leave. Take your child and go find a new place to live and get a job. Sue him for full custody of the child. Make sure that you tell the court that he has abused you and there will be no way they will let him have joint custody. Get child support and start your new life.

[and_y_knot]

NEITHER!!!!!It sounds like you should leave your husband as soon as you can -- don't worry about "hurting" him -- for your own and your child's protection. The only thing that should slow you down is to try marriage counseling. If that does not happen, get in touch with your local women's shelter, their advice will be very helpful, it's what they do. It's very important to know what to do to protect your rights when you leave.As far as the other guy, think of him as your lifesaver and reality-check guy, thank him, and let him know you now know you need to rebuild your life before you can think of sharing it with another man.

[sweetums1949]

When I read these kinds of questions on YA I wonder at the people asking them. If you are having to ask then in your heart you already know that you are in a relationship that isn't right for you and you should just get out. Leave. Go. If he has hit you, he will do so again. Don't let him tell you that he won't. If he is sincere about this he will seek professional help and prove to you that he means what he says. Once a cheat, always a cheat. Once an abuser, always an abuser. Open your eyes and get the hell out while you still can. While you are alive to do so. Do you want to leave your son motherless or, worse still, live to see his father abuse him too?Hurt your husband by leaving him? Hon, you'll be hurting yourself more if you stay. Walk away and never look back.Good luck.

[irie19782002]

Girl, you need to leave your husband but don't move in with the other guy. Get your life together first meaning start looking for a job, but your child in daycare and if you want start school so that you can make more money. Forget men for a minute and concentrate on you and your child. Start going to the club and getting some friends, start having some fun, enjoy you being single again. Don't just shack up with another guy right away be friends with that guy for a little while longer and if he is a good person, trust me, he will wait for you and if he is not good then send him on his merry way and enjoy your life.

[TrenityH]

You don't want to hurt your husband are you serious he has hurt you! You need to leave not just for you but your son too think of him. You need to get help. Call a professional counselor call dept of child services so he can't get your son you may need to get a restraining order on your husband he is controlling and you need to take it slow with this other guy no need to rush you need to get through this first. Don't mean to sound bossy but you really need to leave him ASAP!!!

[jestersand]

If you have time to sit and play on-line games and develope illusions with someone else you can sit and think how you can make your marriage work. I dont buy much into women pity especially when you are this young and giving up already. If you really want out, do it for yourself and not for some dude on line

[marcavelli0569]

Your husband sounds like a real piece of sheet. Leave his sorry self, life is too short for b.s. But don't put the cart before the horse. Seperate from hubby 1st, then get with the new guy. If you follow after what's right, what's right will follow after you. Good luck.

[Queenie5749]

Leave while you can still walk.

[godsgirl]

First of all it doesn't sound like much of a future.It sounds like he has kept you right where he wants to so he can continue in his behavior. First of all, go to the court house or call and see if they have a court facilitator that will help with the legal part of it.They will help with restraining orders, custody, support, and separation. It is free, and since you do not work you could apply for a fee waiver and they will not charge you to do the paperwork. You have to have a plan if you are going to leave. Do this while he is at work. Do it in little steps and don't let on what your doing. Do the legal part first, make sure you have a place to go and get that in order first. When your ready to leave and serve him, do it when he isn't home. Move out when he is not home, then go to his job and serve him with papers of separation allowing you to keep your son until this is settled. Once your out, then serve him at work and go on your way, and the next time you will see him is in court. I would under no circumstances put up with that. You are going to have to woman up and out smart him and beat him at his own game, girl. Your way too young to throw away your life for someone to treat you that way. It is only going to get worse and this will be the story of your young life, don't let him rip you off of enjoying your life.

[wwwhearts-and-kissescom4668]

Try this great article, written by a couples therapist.Should I Stay Or Go? Knowing When To End A Relationshiphttp://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go.html

[cardgirl20215]

No matter about this other guy, you are in danger living with an abusive husband, and my advice is to get out and get out fast. A suggestion though, plan ahead. Save some money, have a plan in place, and move out when your husband is at work..do not tell a soul where you are moving. Not even your best friend. Being that you do not have family, you need to get strong, and with the help of this friend, maybe you have a chance at a new life. When everything is in place, you have some money, get out and never look back. File for divorce. Never let him know where you are. He could kill you. Do not call him from your cell phone, and don't answer his calls to your cell phone. No communication whatsoever. You may have to move to another state to be safe. Be smart and call a Woman's Crisis Center for help too. Good Luck to you. No one should be abused and you are entitled to quality of life and happiness.