Divorcing an Alcoholic, Cheating, Abusive Lying husband?

[thegabrielle]

my husband and I never really had a healthy relationship, our sex life was never good, he always blamed everything on me, I was never good enough. Come to find out he has an addiction to online dating, porn and gang bang sites. He has confessed to loving a woman he met online that he says he has never met. I filed for divorce and then he wanted to go to marriage counseling, we went and then he blamed me for all the problems even though he has all the problems. Then when he was served the divorce papers he e-mails me asking if we were still going to counseling and when I told him no he then became very verbally abusive and then ended it with "I hope you find the man that makes you happy. And stop contacting me unless it is an emergency." A couple days later he sends me another e-mail basically accusing me of taking his Playstation memory cards. What is going on here? Why is he nice to me one minute, then abuse me and blame me tell him not to contact him, when he contacted me?

[joan_of_freakin_arc4517]

he abuses u because he is not getting what he wants and not hearing what he wants to hear. counseling will not help this, as he is failing to take any of the responsibility for his own actions. block his e mail and phone number so he can't harass u anymore.

[mommacat]

He's a loser. He lost control of you the moment you filed for divorce. He uses anger at you to take the blame off himself. You did the right thing, ignore him and move on.

[pickle_tkl]

why are you asking? this guy is a freaking dirtbag. who cares if he's not nice to you..... get the divorce and be done with him. as a matter of fact you probably should take some of his stuff.. maybe you can get a couple of bucks for it. i would, at least the stuff that i hadn't already burned or broken.

[peacefrogzs]

two words to describe your husband..... control freak....get away from him and stay away........

[BrittanyM]

He sounds very immature. I think the best thing you can do right now is to ignore him. If it's bad enough I would get a restraining order put on him. He shouldn't be allowed to harass you like that. Just keep moving forward and everything will be alright in the long run. good luck!!!

[manuelp]

you have being dating a guy or a kid well Bab since he become verbally abuser dont let this upgrade to something worse he its not word it especially if you have kids take care of you kid and dont dill with this other one get that divorce and find some one better you deserve it the dating on-line its unhealthy for some one merry Bab you dont deserve some one like that but well good luck

[ayoungwomanonearth8522]

It really is ok to let him go. You cannot "fix" him. He has lots and lots of introspection to perform. God bless you on your new life. And get a new email addy. I highly recommend gmail.com myself. I love it.

[DaniBosco]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS for making the first step. I was married to one like that. I hope you don't have children with him. But..........Read this and you will learn a lot. http://samvak.tripod.com/archive50.htmlGOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NightTrain]

I am also in the process of filing for divorce from an alcoholic. Get involved in Al-anon and get some counselling. Alcoholics blame everything on everyone else, and do not own anything that they have done. They do not feel quilty - till they are sober -but then they hurry up and get drunk again- so that they don't have any personal hurt.My husband and I have played these back and forths long enough, and so have you, don't take his calls or emails. All it does it upset you. It is sooooo Not worth it. He needs to own his behavior - and if he doesn't - then you do not need to communicate with him.Good luck honey, you are not the only one going down this path... you just need to remove your self from his little games - I finally have, and though it hurts, since we were best friends and yes the sex was amazing - it just isn't worth the mind games.God bless you and good luck.T-