Living for yourself

[SerenBaker]

Too many women subsume themselves in their husbands and children and lose themselves in the process. Then, if a marriage breaks up, or when the kids grow up and move out, she has no identity any more.

It's fine to live "for your children" for a while, but ultimately YOUR life is for YOU to live. Your children will have their own lives as they grow up and have friends and their own interests, so you have to keep your own interests alive and well. What is it that brings joy into your life? Do you like to paint or write or create things? Do you like growing flowers or vegetables? What is it that is unique to you that will keep you whole and healthy?

Don't lose yourself in everyone around you.

[starshimmer]

I so agree. After 10 years of marriage, I had sunk into that trap, of living too much for everyone else. It took a real shaking up to get me to reach out and become "me" again..the me before all the responsibilities took hold of me and I lost myself in there somewhere. And in taking back my own choices, I've noticed that I am beginning to feel better about myself, too.

[SerenBaker]

A year after my ex and I split up, I got involved in an online writer's group, and used the novel writing challenge to write my first novel, which was published by an e-publisher about a year after that. I accomplished so much more toward my own dreams after we broke up and I wasn't focused on his dreams any more.

[jessi_rubin]

ITs absolutly true. I know one friend of mine who was a homemaker and after their marriage broke, she was in no man's land with nothing she could do except manage home. Then we her friends helped her both financially and emotionally. Now she is teaching in a kids school. I learned this one thing from that episode that one should always be self independant coz u never know what happens next.....

[alexis]

I could not agree more. So many times we think our only role is wife/mother/lover, but we still need our time to do our things. It took me a long time to realize that I am a people pleaser, and more for my "man" than myself, thankfully years later (after wising up abit) I always remember that just b/c I am a wife/mother/lover, I am still "me", :)