Who would be most likely to respect my wishes- an American black man, American white man, or foreigner?

[BettyMaeBop]

I am 21 so it's not like I'm looking right away, but I definitely want to get married someday. I just want a husband that will be faithful to me, that's STD-free, and that will not make me give up the the goods before I'm married (and if possible, likes the outdoors and fishing;-). Anyway, I'm black, and in this day in age there has been a serious moral decay in the black community resulting in a lot of untrustworthy black men that are unfaithful. I'm not against marrying a white man either, but I don't want to have to deal with the prejudice that people would give me. Plus, I'm not sure if American white men are sexually trustworthy either. I hear so many white people mocking fidelity and monogamy, even the ones who call themselves "liberal". Is finding an American man that will respect these wishes impossible, and if so, where could I move to where I would be likely to find someone that does? My mom was lucky enough to find such a man, but trustworthy men were more common thenI guessAnd I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but a lot of men find me attractive so would that increase my chances of someone being faithful to me? I know I sound whiny and insecure but I really worry about the future a lot:-(I'm *don't* believe in racial superiority/inferiority, I just meant is there a certain country or a community I could move to where I might have more luck?Geez you don't have to be a religious nut to have sexual morals...why do people always make that assumption/judgement?

[varshab]

An American White Man

[hig]

Go to church and find a good decent man

[Maria]

So young and already so bitter. I'm not sure you will find anyone to meet your standards, but basing it on race and nationality won't help you. Just relax and enjoy your youth. The right person will come along.P.S.- If any man "makes you give up the goods" he is a rapist and should be prosecuted.P.P.S.- To answer your second question, have you ever heard of Halle Berry?

[Jenm]

I cannot believe you are seriously asking this - how on earth can you make such vast generalizations about a group of people based on nothing but race or nationality? There is absolutely no way you can determine anything about a person's personality based on where they're from or what skin colour they are and you, being black, should know this as well as anyone. You will find a great man, a cheater, a man who is faithful for fifteen years of his marriage but then up and has an affair in every single cultural or racial group in the world. Get real...

[MJ]

Men are men. It shouldnt matter what color they are. The best place to find a good man (regardless of color) would be church. At least you know they have HEARD about fedelity and morals.

[DanielT]

A man's morality and ethics have nothing to do with his race or national origin. Find someone who you love who loves you. Then, to keep him, show him that you love him everyday.

[Tinadanielle]

umm i wouldnt rly catagorize it into ethnicity, i think u just might need to look in a differnt place for ur men. for example...dont look for guys u want to be in a long term realtionship in in like a loud nightclub. i would go to events for things u love doing, and meet ppl there. good luck!

[LAURIE]

Don't think color. Always go by your gut feeling. Never jump into a relationship. Take it slowly, with your eyes open. Also , since your parents are good roll models, get their opinion of the men you date.

[camacho1143]

nither, you to try yourself a nice hispanic man

[ianmcilnay]

A man is a man is a man, lets face it you will be taking your chances no matter which way you go. The best thing you can do is to get to know any man very well. Try especially churches.

[SonofaMitch]

Hate to say it, but beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, the most important division to men is old vs. new. To be honest, the race wouldn't be much of a consideration when it comes to this, but culture may. Someone raised somewhere where monogamy and abstenance are venerated may be more what you're looking for than someone from an area where sex is cheap and trust is nonexistant, like the US.

[hoppykit]

No one can make you give up the goods. Unless it's rape and you wouldn't marry him anyway. Looks have nothing to do with fidelity. If they are going to cheat they will cheat. No matter how fat or thin, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, attractive or unattractive. No one can say whether a white man, black man, oriental, mexican or space alien will be honest, faithful and true. You have to love and trust with your heart that's all anyone can do.

[Mni]

Like my Dad always says: There's good and bad in every race. I don't think it's an issue of race or ethnicity as much as it is an issue of how a person is raised, their values, their ethics and their respect for others. There's not really a specific race that will guarantee fidelity...it's all about really getting to know a variety of people and finding values that match your own.

[BoomerWisdom]

A good man is a good man, and it has nothing to do with race or national point of origin.Men must be judged upon their merits as uniquely human individuals, without regard to such stupid concepts as race.It is up to you to judge wisely. Your future children will appreciate your care and discipline in this matter.Best wishes, and may you enjoy many happy days with your chosen lucky man.

[LisaW5083]

Its a crap shoot......I don't believe one race is more or less faithful than another...I guess its a judge what you know sort of thing. Personally, I have friends from all different races and cultures and they are all faithful to their wives/husbands. You will just have to find a person to fall in love with and trust that they will remain faithful.

[benz300coupe]

Choosing any of these answers is racist - the right answer is that trustworthiness has nothing to do with ethnic origin. In every race and culture there are honourable and dishonourable people so you'll have to use judgement and get to know the individual before placing your trust.

[Ausitn]

Honestly, the race is pretty irrelevant. African American culture seems more promiscuous only because they don't (typically) have the money to hide it as well as us white folks. We're just as bad, if not worse - we do the deeds just as much, then try to cover it up.Honestly, don't worry about race OR nationality. Find a guy you like that seems cool, and date him for a while. When tough times come (they always do) pay EXTRA CLOSE attention to how he acts, not only what he says. I don't mean tough times in your relationship either, I mean tough times with his finances, family, etc.People always say 'don't judge' but you really have to in this day and age. Judge carefully how the guy you're interested in acts under pressure. If he makes a decision that causes him pain but helps another person, and does these kinds of things repeatedly, you can be reasonably sure that he has a strong moral compass.Finally, don't insist on perfection. True, you should get what you want, but don't flip out the minute your guy screws up. Even the smartest and most moral of us make mistakes! Instead, understand why the mistake occurred and take proactive measures to prevent it form happening in the future.If you're especially into the no-sex-before-marriage thing, you need to stay away from places like bars/clubs for meeting guys. You'll be extremely odd there and will bring yourself a lot of pain from meeting the wrong folks. I suggest religious organizations, like a local church, for example.And don't worry if the guy you like is white. My ex girlfriend was black and we only got funky stares once in a blue moon. In fact, some of them were REALLY FUNNY! Some old people gave us the weirdest look at ihop once...priceless. Screw what other people think, do what YOU want to do :-) Good luck!

[GrantM8415]

I am a white devoted husband and what I am saying is coming from my heart. You should look for a fine educated and job worthy black man. I think right off the education will show that he is sincere you mentioned white men and infidelity. Men in general, black, white, yellow or what ever have a tendency to stray. But if you check the men who don't do that you will find an educated man a man who has a job and who will treat you like a lady and not want you for sex till that wonderful day (marriage) foreign me have a culture of their own and most have this Home, barefoot and pregnant thing... Any way good luck... Grant M in Pennsylvania

[sanntovaz]

Gal I am not sure how you are going to take thisBut let me put the things in this wayIt's not the race or colour that determines a man 's character So don't look for a colour and character in a man And dont expect your man to be pure as gold but make sure he is not a rusted ironYou told that your mother gotta a gud man then you will also get Before going for a date make a self analysis and evaluate yoursTo my knowledge Destiny always finds you so keep enjoying ,the man of your life will come to youHappy Life ahead

[ScarlettC]

Betty Mae, the first thing question that comes to my mind is "What state do you live in???" I mean, regarding your thinking and all. There is an assortment of men to be found everywhere all over the globe. I wouldn't tell you or anyone to keep a specific "type" in mind because then you start to realize that choices do sometimes contain flaws- flaws that we become attracted to and eventually look for [in our future dating interests]Getting back to the subject, what you've mentioned above does contain quite a bit of stereotypes, "type-casting" and overall ethnocentrism. The media is deadly in portraying races in certain parts and as time went by and history was made, these stereotypes became labels.I'm not going to tell you that religion is a big factor in it but it does play a significant role in an individual's upbringing and current personality and morality. Don't ever allow yourself to see skin color as a factor in a person's worth and interests. History and pop culture are putting this in your mind. Don't look for someone- wait for them to come to you. When you feel comfortable with that person and they treat you the way you want to be treated as well as share your interests, then it's right.

[noname]

PEOPLE are responsible for their own morality. If I as a white man am immoral that should not change your view of other white men. even if 999 out of 1000 black men lack moral character there is one black man out of them that would suit you fine. go ahead and base your decision on race but no matter there is a good person of every ethnicity. But id just like to say based on your racial attitude i dont believe you are worthy of the nice guy you are looking for. You act like the person you want to be with is no more than a statistic. Why dont you get a test tube and create a perfect man. or maybe just live life and find the guy that fits you.

[BikerChick]

I'm a white woman, have dated many white men, none of which was a cheater. I would never date a black man because I know several, and they ALL cheat or would cheat in a hot minute. I think that you need to stop basing who you date on assumptions - you can find plenty of faults in everyone before you even meet them , AND because of this, you will pick apart every single guy that does not "mirror" the man your Mother married. If you do meet a guy who seems trustworthy, you will be watching his every move all the time, and eventually he will leave.I think you are going to have to be open to some sort of compromise - - nobody is as perfect as you think you are, and nobody is going to want to compete with that.

[ThinkingMachine]

There are good and bad in all races! I myself am white and was married to a Japanese girl. She was beautiful and we where very happy together. Japanese are big on honor so I never worried about her cheating on me and would never have cheated on her! 13 years ago my life was destroyed because I found out she did in fact have a affair while we where married .She begged and pleated for me not to divorce her because of one mistake she made .This made it even harder to make the choice to divorce her which I did. My friends always told us we where the perfect pare and where shocked at what happened. To this day they ask me how did I ever recover from what she did 13 years ago I think to myself what makes them think I did recover from it ! There are good guys out there that will be loyal to you And I pray you find one ! I my self have given up on true love. And for the people who read this Please know the damage you can cause some one for a fling! It's truly devastating! I have always kept this to my self but maybe it will help you ! I wish you the best of luck .Don't give up like I did!

[JackieM]

I don't think the race matters. I like Grant M's answer. Some tips though:-Marry a man who goes to church and shares similar spiritual beliefs as you.-Marry a man who has a similar culture and upbringing as you. I don't mean race. Also meet his family first. (For example, I have a friend who married a man from a different country. He was from a place where the men drink all day and night and don't come home on the weekends. The women stay home and do all the housework. If my friend had gotten to know him and his family well, she would have picked up on this.)-Pay attention to how he treats you, especially around his friends and family. Pay attention to what his mom does and is expected to do around the house, and see if that sorta matches your goals.-Marry an educated man, like Grant M said.-Read this book: Date or Soul Mate? by Neil Clarke Warren, Ph.D. see link below.

[HerbalPhilWellnessWarrior]

Try something exotic, an Aussie white guy, but what does race matter?Is there not two kinds of folk in the world?Those you know, those you don't?I went to your great nation in 1986 and got to view the white house in DC, you have a great heritage, what does your family view about who you choose?Surely you marry not a person but there whole family in some cultures?Like America, Australians admire the American dream, the diversity in the melting pot of multiculturalism, but, you are young, impressionable, enjoy life before being committed to what you feel strongly about?I know what you focus upon you get? White/Black/Foreigner? Labels can be hurtful, remember New Orleans during Katrina? Australian diplomats were not allowed in to extract us "Foreigners?" Yet the media were? Hypocrisy under any label is hurtful, it is always the hypocrisy in our own anger hurting ourselves by ourselves not anyone else, you control your own destiny by the very mood you chose as a free choice in democracy, the choices you make either make or break you from circumstance! Celebrate the bad ones, choices, from the good opportunities had from these, but always be grateful, have faith, mine is in Christ Jesus as an Aussie, but more so, we let in foreigners who are not, I regret not this for God brings the world here, we have over 205 different nationalities where perhaps 2/3 of our entire nation has at least one parent born overseas or they themselves were, some 1/3 of Australia is foreign? It seems two key words come through what you say, respect and morality.Trust is a function of both. You can spend your whole life getting to know someone, and still not know them, know 9 countries with all the highways and byeways better than one human, but above all? Just be true to yourself!You are young, 21, find intersts you want to share, contribute to society not just your church, give freely to charity, it helps comprehend why we are here, but above all? Be truthful.When you state a fact for what it is and try your best not to lie even if you choose not to talk or tell, you find alternatives. The world is full of idiots who count, just be cool, accepting, tolerant, but never a door mat, uphold dignity, just because you can, neither as an extremist or secular, but because you respect other folk too much to interfere, but, lead by example, the mystique will have them ask you, read, the book the secret, but what else?Never stop having fun! You Americans work hard and play hard, never ever let this change from your intrinsic worth along with your great companionship and faithfulness, the whole world talks about your righteousness. Believe in knowing you are dearly loved, if not by all, Australia anyway!

[procopio]

Here in our island of Putultiti, men who have sex other than their wife are castrated; their severed privates are fed to wild boars, then they must live a life of a woman, washing clothes and cleaning outhouses,... wearing skirts!

[gannoway]

Asian man is known to be monogamy....

[donyang1971]

I think man in any race has sexual untrustworthy problems. Faith is not decided by ones race, but heart and morality. You should find a man who shall be well educated, sound, steady-going，gentle and cultivated. Someone i met on interracialmatch.com once said that :finding your good man is not a easy job, sometimes, it will use all your lifetime,if you can find him or her, you are the few lucky dog in the world. Cherishing the person who is relatively more faithful to you than others.