Why do so many people think loyalty only matters, or suddenly becomes important, once they're married?

[BACKINACTION]

I've heard a lot of people make statements such as: "But we're not married yet," and "But we weren't married yet when it happened," as though nothing that happens (or happened) prior to marriage is of any significance or relevance whatsoever. Why do people think loyalty is an attitude that others automatically have once married (or that it should only be present after marriage)? Why do people think that someone can suddenly be completely different simply because he/she decided to repeat promises in front of a preacher / celebrant / officiant?Why do so many people think that it doesn't matter if a commitment is broken prior to getting married? Why do people look at me like I've lost my mind when I say that I would leave my husband if I was to find out he was unfaithful even prior to our marriage?

[JakeB]

In this day in age you have a point.Marriage did used to mean a lot more.I personally believe...and I'm not trying to push this idea on anyone, just simply stating belief...That marriage was started by God.I believe he intended for a man and a wife to be married and have a family. It's the most simple social unit on earth.I think he wanted us to be married forever...not just until death do you part.The enemies of God have declared war on marriage...and unfortunately it's working.They are destroying our basic social units and thereby destroying our communities, nations, and our world.Sorry that kind of sounds like I'm some religious freak, I didn't word it all quite right, but I believe it to be true.But the good guys will win in the end.

[Anonymous]

I totally would do the same thing. I feel like a relationship will always be between two people. When you get into one you should treat it as that. If you plan to be running around then why commit? A relationship is the final step before marriage and if you can't handle that accordingly then why go further?

[silentraindrops]

Hey girlfriend I'm on your side. If your husband was not being loyal to you before you married him there is a good chance he won't be loyal to you now. Marriage is not the ingredient a person needs to make him become a loyal person.Integrity ,maturity ,and a conscious are the ingredient's needed for a person to be loyal. loyalty is needed in all aspects of life not just marriage. A person needs to be loyal to there Job ,they need to be loyal to their dog and see that they get fed and payed attention to everyday.Everyday friends need to be loyal to each other, their prayers ,even to the up keep of their automobile or home. It is in a persons nature to be loyal or it's not.Married or not If he led you to believe he was being loyal to you when in fact he was not . You have every right to be pissed and leave ,if that is what you want to do , and not let him or others use the excuse that not being married makes it OK ,that is a crock of s*** for anyone that claims that is an excuse for misleading someone into thinking they are being loyal to that person ,if they choose to do other wise.

[SEXYCHOCOLATE]

Girl it's not that they think thier spouse can suddenly become faithful once married (my mom spouts that bull about my dad all the time about the time he cheated on her, they are divorced now) & says that about her most current ex. That is a bunch a bull that they feed themselves, as an excuse to permit the infedelity. When you date someone, and the two of you have had that "talk" and have come to an understanding that from this point forward we are exclusive, that is a verbal promise, if you can't keep your word before the wedding, you won't keep it after. When you are dating it is just a preview of what you are dealing w/ when you get married. You don't see the whole picture until you are married. So if the preview you get is them lying to you and betraying you, is that a good preview of the marriage? Hell To The NO! But many women say that crap your asking to themselves & men say it to women to pacify them. The women buy into it because they WANT TO they don't want to believe that the man they are dealing w/ is cheating on them because 9 out of 10 times they told themselves that if that happened to them, that they would leave a man right on the spot and now that they are in the thick of it, they don't want to break up because in thier minds that means that THEY did something wrong or didn't do enough & they would be embarrased in front of friends, family, etc. I agree w/ you if you are unfaithful, you are unfaithful & I do not abide by a liar.

[Dancer3d]

You are so right, these people are stupid. My ex-fiance' was rude and kept saying "I'm keeping my options open". WTF!! Needless to say, I left his crazy behind alone to keep his options open. I used to tell him all the time if you can't settle down now, you will not be able to settle down after you are married. He begged to differ. PEOPLE are insane!