Should I leave him?

[Taina]

My husband I have been married for almost two years and we have a beautiful son together. However, he is not honest with me about money and other things. I don't belive he has been unfaithful. He also lied to me when we first married when he was in the military. He told me he was working when in fact he was AWOL and we were expecting our son. We had no money or health insurance, and I had to leave the state to be with my parents, because they evicted us from the on base housing. He remained behind to finish up his paperwork with the military. While we were apart for two months, he did not contact me at all. We now live in his home state where I have no family. I have a great job and my son is the only thing I look forward to everyday. He has walked out on us twice for several days at a time and when he says that he will change, it's only for a week or two, then everything goes back to chaos. Should I leave him or stay for the sake of keeping the family together?

[Grumble]

Yes

[Rhyann0376]

Simply put, you should have left already.

[BlackShadow]

LEAVE NOW

[Abbe]

Give you and your son a better life. Leave him!

[bsl_jtk_bjk4922]

You aren't helping your son at all by staying with this deadbeat! LEAVE HIM!! It will help you be happy, which will improve your son's quality of life.

[themeindzeye]

Is it really all that much of a family if he disappears for days on end with no explanation, leaving you and your child alone? I don't think so, personally. You can find someone who would be a much better role model for your child than this guy.

[Irizzle]

you took a vow to stay with him for better or worse

[LindaFallsrock]

Unfortunately my unprofessional opinion is that guys like this usually never change. If you break now it will be easier than later. Maybe try counseling first.

[LovelyMomma]

Leave him.

[MeleahJ]

Leave him sister.... sounds like a controlling pig

[msmonroe2003]

you should leave him you---and your son---deserve so much better and you can take care of yourself! it seems at this point he is of no use to you.

[wafflesbee]

Give him a chance, if he stays like this, then yes

[Im_a_natural_Blonde3326]

Try your hardest to stay together, even if he does seem like a bum, a father means ALOT to a son! boys look up to their fathers, try to talk to your husband.....and commit it to god!!!good luck :D:D

[JackX]

I don't think you honestly believe anyone would answer "yes stick with him." You're just seeking confirmation in a decision you've already made. So here's your confirmation, leave him and end it.

[SarahBee]

It doesn't sound like he's going to change. I think all relationships need a lot of work -- but it sounds like the work is all one-sided in yours. You've tried long enough. Do yourself and your son a favor and get out of it. It's creating an unstable environment for your son, and it must be very emotionally tolling on you.

[cprucka]

Dump him. A lair is a lair, plain and simple. And how do you know he has been faithful to you. You can't trust a lair!

[AmandaF]

Leave him he's a loser

[CarlosCastaneda]

I would leave him. It sounds like he has no devotion to anyone but himself.

[BillC]

That's a tough one. What you should do is hire a private investigator to find him when he's gone "for several days at a time", find out exactly what he IS doing and make a decision from that.

[longnosebest]

leave him now or never because you dont want your son to get attached to him and then have the son being shared.

[BackW]

I think this guy is not any good for you and your child... I'd seriously consider leaving him behind

[LoraineF]

How well did you know him before getting married? The guy isn't stable. Your son needs stability. My advice would be to raise your son yourself, unless your husband truly does change.

[ChristmasYorkie]

Your Son Probably Doesn't Like It That Much. So Do What Ever You Want To Do. Your Son Is Probably Just AS Mad Even Know The Sounds Of It Make It Sound Like Hes..3?

[Quasimodo19571114]

If you were cool with this for 2 years...what changed now?

[tone]

Get a good divorce/child custody lawyer. WHy would you stay with this man? This is unhealthy for you and your son.

[45cal]

Ask yourself why any I here>

[tomz]

give him another chance...a child must have both parent to complete a family..so if u think he brook the rule ..why not think back what he think of...

[meg_22ky]

Sometimes it is better for the family not to be together. You need someone who will teach your child good values and lying and walking out on your family is not good values. You should be the one to decide to let him go. Not just for you but for your child and so that both of you can have a future.

[Nikki5791]

You are the only one to make that decision. It sounds as if everything leads to that though if you don't want the chaos anymore. It sounds as if he has done alot to hurt you.

[stephanie524772771]

You need to leave him now. Oh sure... he will try to use his old promises "I promis I will change" but like you said it will only be for a short time. Be strong. Give your son a better life.

[uneekqamar2004]

If he's worth keeping (which I doubt) then try and save your marriage. For the sake of you and your son I think it's best to move on because if he continues this behavior then what's the use really.

[AshleyA]

It's all about how you feel inside. If you feel like everything is gone between you, then be happy with your son. Dishonesty can break trust and without trust where is the marriage? Your son can still see his father, but your husband walking out is not a good thing for your son to see, and they say kids pick up things from their parents and you don't want your son to do that to his family and to be dishonest. Maybe marriage counseling will be a good idea if you want it to work. Best wishes and good luck.

[flyy_09]

Leave his ass and collect child support.he is always gonna put you through that and pretty soon, it'll affect your son and u dont want that to happen.

[cosmo]

I would not stay just for the sake of keeping the family together.....but if you love your husband and you would want to be with him if he was being true to you then I think you should stay and work it out....ONLY if he agrees to see a marriage counselor. You should sit down with him and say this is what I am thinking....I can't go on living like this. We need to to one of two things: go to marriage counseling or get divorced. Plain and simple...let his actions make up your mind. Good luck honey.

[Dakota]

You and your son need to move on you sound like a very intelligent woman, you don't deserve to be done that way and being on your own could open up a world of happiness, not to mention a world of possibilities. Be strong.

[ndnqt19666519]

I am sorry hon...but it is time to leave...he has proved more than once that he is untrustworthy...

[ncsu93]

This is bad, his continued pattern of behavior is scary. I would not stay in that situation. Maybe if there was clear expectation of some type of therapy where the underlying issues are brought out, but it would have to be strictly adhered to, and it does not seem like he is capable of that right now. If you stay the situation will escalate, if you leave you will put your son and yourself in the best place at least for now. You need to do what right for you and your son, and sometimes that means getting out of a bad situation even if it splits the family.

[glitsea]

Leave him. I'm in a similar situation myself. My husband has just lost his mind and lies to me about everything! He's also in the military and we've been married almost 2 years as well. We're in the process of getting a divorce and while it took me a while to accept it, I now realize it's for the best. I don't need someone bringing me down and neither do you. No matter how much you love someone you can't force then to change. Sad but true. Best of luck in the future! Have the courage to stand up for yourself and your son and you'll be all the better and wiser for it.

[tre_loc_dogg2000]

Time to start packing, or tell him to do the packing. I have been in a similar situation where I was the one about to get left and I did what I had to so my wife wouldn't leave. But the role has been reversed and I was going to leave and she changed for me, if he won't change for you or better yet your son then you need to end it now because if he hasn't changed he will never change.

[exodus64_1996]

Having gone through a divorce, I would not wish one on anyone, but you have to do what is best for you and your son. Your husband has a responsibility to uphold, if he isn't doing that then he either needs to start doing it, or get out of the way and let you do what you need to do.

[lady_phoenix39]

Therapy, therapy, therapy.For both of you, but most particularly for him. If that doesn't take care of the issues, get out.

[THeBliNDiNG]

i would leave him. go back to your hometown and be with your family until you get back on your feet. your son wont be without family because he will have you and his grandparents. this guy your with is way to immature to be even somewhat of a good role model for your son. i think it would be worse if you stayed.

[WhatchuSay]

If you're only staying with him to keep the family together,then yes you should leave him, that is not a good enough reason to stay. That will not be a healthy environment for your son to grow up in and neither is it healthy for you. He doesn't sound trustworthy or dependable at all. And I wouldn't be so sure about him not cheating either. If he was lying to you about those other things(and that was in the beginning)then he will lie to you about other women too. Esp. if he's leaving for days at a time. Where is he going during those times? Protect yourself and your son. That should be your priority right now. Your husband is grown and will have to deal with the consequences of his actions. Good luck sweetie.

[makeloans2]

Leave him. Looks like he's never going to make the changes he needs to and he has lied to you and left you in the past. It sounds like you can't depend on him. You and your son would probably be better off without him.

[ashleybredesen8012]

leave..... do you really want to have that influence your son? your hubby can still be a part of your son's life through regular visitations. the earlier you break it off the less trauma your son will experience. don't stay just because you want to keep your family together. it takes more than sperm to be a daddy. eventually you will find another man that will treat your son like a prince and you a queen. good luck and i am praying for you!

[jessixlaura]

Leave!He doesn't respect you at all.A marriage is a union of two people, and it seems to me that you are the only one attempting to hold the marriage (and the family) together.You are clearly unhappy, and this is not a good situation.The fact that he didn't contact you for those two months makes me sick. My significant other lives five hours away from me, and he contacts me every single day. This is your husband you're talking about.He needs to get his act together, this is not a good role model for your son!The longer you stay in this situation, the longer you're going to be unhappy.

[coolgeorgerod]

hell f***ing yea

[MelissaG]

When you stay for the sake of the family...it usually just makes the family worse. What I mean by this is...kids are very intuitive, they can tell when things are not right and the parents are unhappy. That creates a very unstable environment for them to be growing up in, especially if the father isnt reliable and can disappear for days at a time. It creates a sense of insecurity in a child and he will grow up carrying these insecurities with him and they can severly affect him later in life. It is always better for a child to have both parents be happy and stable seperatly then miserable and unreliable together. Keep in mind these early years are the most importnat for your sons developement and will mold him into the man he will be someday...you want him to be filled with feelings of security, happiness, love and trust...it doesnt sound like he will get this out of the current situation. What is best for you will be best for him in the long run. :)

[waitandsee]

Listen, someone said to hire a private investigator to find out what he doing when he gone for days. I say if that is what you have come to then you don't really have a marriage worth saving. I think the answer to this is very clear to you. You don't have any trust or respect in the relationship. Give your son a good example, and leave. Go back to your home state with your family and have a full and happy life. I recommend getting some counseling to find out how in the world you could have ended up with someone so wrong for you.Best of luck!!

[PhilM]

You have to look out for whats best for your son. Is a part-time/revolving door father in his best interests? Is a bad role-model for what a responsible adult (not you, him) a good example?If anything, leave him for the sake of your son. Kids are resilient and he'll bounce back. You dont have to remove the father from his life, just your home and the chaos he is creating for your child. Children need and crave stability.