Should I tell my Husband that I have been unfaithfull?

[KrystalE]

Ok after reading a few of the questions about cheating I am a little worried to ask this one but what the hell here is goes. My husband has been locked up in prison for almost 2yrs. I have been having a love affair with a man I work with for a little over a yr. My question is my husband is due home in 9 months, Should I tell him I have been unfaithull while he was locked up or go with the old saying "what he does not know wont hurt him"?? Please speak your mind and let me know

[elizabeth]

hell he was in jail. i say don't say anything to him. divorce him and be single

[Hello2u]

you cant have a relationship with hiding stuff and being unfaithful. do you love this other person or just needed your fix? maybe he will be ok with it since he got locked up, but you NEED to tell him but i dont know if now or when he gets out is best. might drive him crazy while hes locked up.

[RachelL4869]

speachless! thats so wrong on so many different levels! do u know what he's going through?

[luvlisteningtomusic3524]

What was he in prison for? I have heard by stand by your man but if it was for something bad then I suggest you fly away. He should of never put you in that position in the first place he should of been there with you instead of getting into trouble.

[jacsrbetter1]

You should tell him while he is still in jail, that way by 9 months he should be cooled off by then. Besides he is going to find out anyways some day.

[pudinpie24]

This is a very hard decision that you have to make for yourself. You have to carefully weigh your options and decide just how he is going to take it. Is he a frogiving person? Is he a tempramental person? You know him better than we do. I personally would feel the need to tell him the truth.

[Bonny]

Not if you want to live. He is a convicted felon, remember. Not necessarily the type who would be able to brush off the thought of his wife doing some other guy.

[bootsontheroad]

Open and honest communication is the only thing that works in a marriage. You have to do what you think is right. Your situation, depends on why he is in prison. I does look like a divorce in the future for you.

[lynettev]

No. Dont do it. Unless your not going to be together anymore. You will be in hell for years over it.

[renamed]

no don't tell him about it unless you want to give him something to hold over your head. absolutely, not.

[Nathan]

if you lead him to believe you would be there when he got out, you have betrayed him just like any affair you read here. so - i say the truth will come out sooner or later... that part is up to you.

[Simplyme]

He deserves to know.. I know it's hard for you, but you've gotta tell him sooner or later.

[Chris3052]

You think he's not having sex too?

[melissa]

Does this guy your having the love affair with know the whole situation??It sounds like you plan on dumping him, once your husband gets out of jail.Anyway...of course I wouldn't tell him about it when he gets out. What good would possibly come of that??

[Sexxylexi]

It goes so many ways. You cheated, he hasn't been with a woman in a few years and when he gets out he'll feel so appreciated that you stood by his side so maybe cut it now while he is still in jail. At least you held out for a year - jail is a different circumstance (i believe) than seeing your husband day in and day out and then cheating on him. You tried and just couldn't. Maybe you should just break it off now and be single because if you stay together the thought of cheating on him will haunt you and you may do it when he is home. Be single!

[ritamaynow]

Why tell him?

[GunDream]

2 years and 9 months, sounds like he is in jail for something bigger than a DUI. Why are you still with him?

[Betty]

Haha well, usually males need it more than females.... has your husband been getting some in jail? What was he in jail for? Do you know why you are cheating? You have to tell him, but seriously re-think your marriage as well. You deserve to be with someone who can be there for you too......

[saraw]

You need to tell him...hiding things only makes it worse.

[splashdesign238]

The old saying is inaccurate. What he does not know, he WILL know, and it will do even more devestation than you personally telling him.The real question at hand is where are you at in all of this? It sounds like you are not even regretful or sorrowful or even remorseful about it.You have already destroyed your marriage and devastated the trust factor. Yet to add to all that, you have showed little desire to want to make it all right again.Do him a favor, and get it over with, so he could have some time to recouperate and plan things out for when he is released.

[joan_of_freakin_arc3312]

he was the one who made the choice to do the crime that put him where he is now. i would not tell him if i wanted to remain married. and if i loved my husband i would cut all ties now with the other man. if i didn't i would file for a divorce now and end it.

[Shelly]

It depends on if you are going to have a relationship with your husband once he is released. Are you and this other guy going to keep seeing each other or just cut of cold turkey when your husband gets out? You can't have two relationships so before you decide to spill the beans, figure out what you are going to do. If you decide to stay with your husband, don't say a word about it.

[StephenH5296]

If you are going to tell him then you need to tell him before he gets out. Depending on what he is in the pen for. If he is in there for a violent crime then you run the risk of him hurting you. Only you know the whole aspect of the situation and whether or not he will find out.

[mrshull11053537]

C'mon now he's not stupid I'm sure he thinks it in the back of his head that your doing someone else. He"s out in nine months thats enought ime to find a new job and get abck to being devoted to your husband. I wouldnt tell him. Thats just me though. I know its wrong but if you truley want it to work then i'd keep my mouth shut and get back to being in love with your husband. But really find anew job cuz that temptastion will always be there. Do what is best for your marriage. Good luck

[snowball742474ssbbcc91397cats]

HI i THINK YOU SHOULD FIRST TELL YOURSELF DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND OR YOUR LOVER.If you want to stay in marriage you should tell your husband what happened and also that you regret it.Be open about is good for you and him.You had special case to lead to your action.Good luckMost important thing is to do what is your gut telling you

[jimmyparker06]

If you think you can live with the guilt then don't tell him. It's usually people who feel guilty and think that telling the truth will make them feel better. It might make them feel better, but ruins lives...... First don't do it, if you do it, then learn to live with it.

[purplewaterhorse]

I would tell him. He was in jail, so he is not perfect either. If he cant live with it, get divorced. Is the affair over ? Who is it that you love and want to be with. There are some things you need to figure out before he gets home.

[Sands9754]

You can get really good advice at survivinginfidelitydotcom

[pictureshygirl1944]

It depends what your motive for not telling him is. Are you willing to tell him to relieve yourself of guilt, is there a chance he will find out, are you planning to stay with him and making your marriage work, and if so what happens to this other guy? The duration of this affair sounds to have been for a length of time that there is a strong possibillity of others already being aware of it. This runs a huge chance that your husband will find out sooner or later. I usually adise women who feel remorseful for their affair and who are willing to make amends to not tell their husbands. This is because if they truly are remorseful and are now willing ot make a huge effort in making the marriage work, then it serves no purpose in telling a husband, which will only cause great pain for him. But in your situation, it does not sound as if there is any remorse and that you are only ending the affair not out of remorse but because your husband is getting out of prison. I am not here to judge you, but you must first see your motives for telling him or not telling him as a way to give your self an answer. In my view, it sounds better to tell him. I say this only because by doing so, and bringing it out will at least make you face the truth of what you have done, and therefore will open options for you to come to grips of the affair and to feel what you should be feeling, and that is remorse. I do wish you the very best.

[mgnlok5901]

Another Cheater ,how can you want to stay with him if you already cheated on him . It sounds like you are planning to dumb your sex partner after he gets out of prison and try and hiding it from him. I would tell him and divorce him while he is prison so that way it will give you enough time to move far away and save him a return trip after he gets out.Don't try to hide it from him because I am sure he will find out sooner or later and then it will be worse than it already is.

[Nicolas]

Why are you still hanging on to your jail bird?

[Graceyg]

no dont say shit just stop being a sliz-ut

[BryanM]

Yes, even though the truth will hurt, he deserves to know the truth. Spouses should be open and honest with each other.

[fla9720]

Does he really expect you to go without? He is cheating on you in prison, and if he cant go without why should you.

[cindra5880]

I don't know how you could remain married to a man who spent two years in prison. And, if you've had a love affair for one year, then chances are, your marriage is over anyway. File.

[Lookingforinfo]

That's a tough one...are you comfortable with your husband being locked up? I think you have looked over the situation and have started a new life with someone you care about that probably won't end up in jail. I would tell him to make yourself feel better you are not keeping secrets...he will probably understand due to the current situation he is in.Good Luck

[bocasbeachbum9931]

It is a snakes pit. If yo never say anythng and he never discovers it then you are home free. If you say then he is p*ssed. If you never say and he finds out you are again in deep kimchee. Personally I would not say anything.

[AndyourpointIS]

It depends, if you tell him and you really want to be with him I would say not to tell him about your affair. You have another 9 months to make up your mind and have fun!

[Mdguy]

Answer;I was arrested some time ago and was held 1 day!!,, I've been going out with my girl for about 4 years and she is a very cute girl and I a trouble guy!! I have made a lot of mistakes and I thank God for my girl , A wife is suppose to support and be good help in a marriage, If you made a mistake, you have to deal with it, just like he is, he made a mistake is paying for, and you cheating is a consequence of his mistake.Now you pay and deal with it!!.and trust me this world is very small I'm sure he'll find out!!.

[SatinSue6031]

telling him could mean a divorce.ive kept all my little flings to myself and its done no harm.just break it off with the other guy when your husband gets out and it'll all be fine.

[CB0411]

If you want your marriage to be over then go ahead and tell him.

[jeffb2803]

NEVER confess