Is it normal to be jealous of your spouses past?

[MRSMARTIAN]

My husband and I have an odd relationship. We are extremely jealous of eachothers past. We cannot talk about any of our ex's or something that happened in a previous relationship. Each time it happens we get really jealous and upset. When we tried to come up with an answer we both agree that we feel like we should have been together our whole lives and it feels like we "cheated" on eachother by having that past relationship. We love eachother dearly but we just cant get over this. Ive never heard of any other relationship being like this.They are both somewhat normal pasts. and we are both still young. i am 24 and he is 26.

[Diamond0227]

sometimes, depending on the past

[jules]

No one, at least most people in love, do not enjoy hearing about past lovers. You have a simple solution though, don't ever bring up the subject again. And find ways to assure each other of your love and loyalty.

[ladyluck]

You really just don't talk about your past. There is no reason to. You past is what made you what you are today.There is no reason to get upset and jealous anymore, you are married silly.Really, just don't talk about it anymore! Simple. I know that I wouldn't want to know all of my husband's juicy details of his love life before me. Ehh.

[Alwaysreadyforanything4173]

Well have you heard" WHAT"S IN THE PAST IS LEFT THERE" In other words stop thinking about it and be happy together because seems liek this is putting a strain in your marriage. SO what's in the past leave it there and forget about it and move on if both of you'll want to be happy.

[AlyssaLynn]

the key word is "PAST".... you're in the PRESENT... why would you care about ppl you've dated before each other? You're just putting strain on you're relationship with jealousy... it's not worth it.

[scolby1977]

I think that it's a good sign that you both feel like you can't because you were meant to be.I'm the same way. I DO ask some questions but not too many. Only questions that I feel are important to my current relationship with my bf (like reasons for insecurities). My bf on the other hand is totally comfortable to ask me questions about ex bf's. It takes me by surprise sometimes and I do feel a little uncomfortable but I answer with tact.The reason I don't like to ask is kind of the same as you guys. I feel like I wish I would have known him in high school, college, and after because MAYBE we would have dated then and he could have saved me MUCH grief with ex's. lol. I am not jealous of his ex's but more jealous of the time that I missed with him. I just remember that he is with me now and hopefully it will stay that way. If not...I am greatful for the time I DO have with him and try everyday to keep it special.

[Nandina]

Geeze. It's in the past. You can either accept that the past happened and you can't change it, or you can split up and find someone who isn't insecure about the fact that (oh my god) you actually HAD A LIFE BEFORE YOU MET.Unless the exes are still involved in your lives in the present day, there's nothing to be jealous of.

[decoMari1497]

It's normal but there comes a time where you both are so sick and tired of the tension that it is finally put in the back burner.

[jeffb2807]

Think of it this way. What if you guys had no previous sex partners, then you would feel like you missed out on getting to play around before you married. I personally would not have wanted to marry someone who hadn't experienced life a little bit.

[MrsGoddess9373]

This is ridiculous. Yours and his pasts don't matter. There should be no reason to discuss them.

[Wanna-Be-Mommy]

My husband and I are the same way! We deal with it by not talking about our pasts. The past is in the past and that's where it should stay, in our opinion. If something of that nature does come up in a conversation, we just say something like, "Ok, enough of that conversation. How was your day?" or something along those lines.