Im planning on cheating on my husband for revenge...should I?

[imasecretymailcom]

I've been with my husband for about 8yrs. Before I met him, I was with my ex for 2yrs. Through the years my ex has shown that he still loves me and has given hints on wanting me back. He has even found my cell # through family or friends to get to me. The whole time he knew I have moved on and had a baby. I was so afraid of a confrontation between them, that I didn't tell my husband about my ex trying to reach me after so many years. But I decided to contact him myself and tell him we could never be together again. Instead, my husband caught some of his texts on my phone, and automatically thought I was cheating. We fought for days and he hit me behind doors for 3 straight days. He never wanted to believe that I never cheated and I would never go back to my ex again. We stood together above all of this. A couple of months later I discovered websites on our computer where he logged in to meet girls for 1 on 1 sex. What I discovered was so hurtful that it took my breath away. In his profile he described everything about himself and what type of girls he wanted. I broke through several of his password codes...search history...searched hidden files...etc. He had the nerves to deny it first, then justify it later. His excuse was the incident that happened about my ex and how he just wanted to get even with me. How do I get over something like this. I can't. This is why: I swore to him that I never been unfaithful. I asked him time and time again if he wanted to talk about any problems because I wanted to make sure that he could trust me. He constantly assured me we were fine, and he wasn't involved with any1 else. So that's why I want to hurt him back. Because you see I never cheated on him and now he's trying to cheat. He hurt me bad. Should I leave with my ex just to get him back...just the way he hurt me? Our trust is distroyed. He thinks he got away with this one. What should I do?

[Justsmile]

Getting even is not the solution to anything and it only make matter worse. You shouldn't depreciate your moral values just to get back at him.

[JM8759]

What would the wiseman say hmmmmmmm, I'd say pray about it to see if you get intuition, then try this again.

[fff]

please take this opportunity to improve YOUR life and take positive actions. Your life does not need to revolve around a man - and why drag an innocent 3rd party into the disaster of your marriage? does your ex deserve that? Success is the best revenge!!!!

[YodasTattoo]

If you cheat on him, when will it end? You'll both just keep going in circles until someone gets seriously injured or dead. Just be civil and get a divorce or seek some serious counseling.

[jaded5692]

if you cheat on him i assume you want every day" behind doors "to be a hit.

he hit you to put you in your place, the same way brutish people used to violently rub puppies noses in their piddle accidents so they would not piddle on the floor again.

ah, love!

[prescientone]

Two wrongs don't make a right. You know that. If you cannot communicate with your man and are confident he has actually met with other women...you need to move on. How can you fix something that one partner does not want to fix. You should not have contacted your ex...you know that was wrong

[AppreciateEachDay]

Revenge by having sex with someone else won't make you feel better. You might get an STD, too. Get a divorce, get some counseling, but don't get even. That sinks you down to his level and he's very low.

[Justme5972]

Be mature about this.

GET DIVORCED

[MaryK]

Cheating is not revenge honey...

If you believe he cheated on you then leave him and leave your own life. It's hard, but do it if you really believed he cheated.

If you cheat and go back, then your in a fools game and made a sucker out of yourself, destroyed your own self -esteem and destroyed any feeling you had about marriage.

If you have any pride, then just leave or forget he was on a stupid website.

[syndicatepi1697]

This game (because essentially it is just that) is never going to end. By you cheating, will give him reason to do it over and over again. If you care about your marriage and your husband you should come at him straight. Call a truce or something.

He's hitting you...hmm I'd make it clear that that is unacceptable and if it happens again....you would (enter what you would do here.) Basically lay it all out, how things need to change between the two of you. Be ready for 100 percent honesty, because you both need to be honest with each other. Don't accuse, don't point fingers either. Talk a solution. Can't change the past but you can make change for your future.

Good luck to you

[jealouself]

divorce him first. then, contact your ex.

[cnz]

No ,don't cheat it'll make matters worse,ask him to tell you the truth if he doesn't, treaten him that you will leave if he doesn't tell you .

hope this helps

[Steph7973]

Are you serious!!! You have no proof that he did anything. Now you are willing to go out and actually commit the crime that you both swore you never did. That is probably the most insane thing I have ever heard. I think you two need to get to ground zero, maybe through counseling. If you really think the trust is gone, and its not repairable then get a divorce. Cheating is the worst thing that you can do!!!

[noshaymatall2396]

You should probably leave now. You may not have this excuse later on. This is the perfect time to make it all look like it's his fault. You don't have to take any of the blame. You can be the victim and you can go back to your ex. It's perfect. Leave now while you still have most people believing that you're a better person. Not me, mind you.......but most people. I'm not insulting you. Really. But I just don't think you're being honest with yourself. I lie to myself all of the time. It looks and sounds just like the stuff you're shoveling.

[Agenda]

Bust his windows to his car do whatever got you got to do to get even it will make you feel better.Go girllll.

[ABCD0473]

wow. you guys are messed up.

1. you never should have contacted your ex. no matter what. if you had ignored him he'd get the hint, and you know that. you wanted to hear him say he wants you.

2. you husband is a scumbag.

3. you want to be a scumbag, too.

What made you think you should be raising a child?

Do not get back at him. That is stupid. Try to salvage some self respect and both of you make a committment to start doing the right thing from now on.

[tooinvolved1]

Think about your child and then decide. Would it hurt HER if she could know about her parents' antics when she's old enough? So there you go.

Stay with him or leave him. Not some in between halfway between both, I'll stay with you but make you miserable while I'm here.

Seek therapy to work out your issues.

And your ex is no good either. If he knew you had a man and a CHILD, trying to contact you to get together again is wrong and disrespectful of your new relationship...regardless of what your man did.

[JohnU]

You and your husband need to get single TODAY. You have no business being married to anyone right now. IF this is the way your relationship/marriage is going at least I can say you are at least to immature to be married to anyone right now. Marriage is not the playground in kindregarten and you need to seriously grow up. Get a divorce, put your present husband out of his misery and get on with your own misery without him God help the ex boyfriend who is chasing you because you sound like quuite the catch. Get over yourself and stop thinking about yourself because you are only hurting everyone around you. Anything past your first sentence are only excuses or rationlization for you to do what you think is right but you are wrong. Find a cave, live there until you find yourself and begin to realize you are not the princess you think you are and get on with reality.

[ohanahugs]

Girl the answer is EASY!

The right thing to do is not to cheat on him, but divorce him!!!!

There is no longer real love in the relationship and if you both are willing to engage in pety acts to get at eachother, it is clear that you both should no longer be with one another....

I mean SERIOUSLY think about your child before you do something Stupid!

Regardless of the circumstances, what your husband did was wrong:
1. he should have never laid a hand on you or
2.cheated on you with multiple women!

You are right when you say that CAN'T get over it, because the truth is that "if he's done it once, he will do it again" without a doubt!

And you don't want to live with that kind of person!

Please do yourself a favor with you're child in mind--->have enough respect for yourself to leave him and move on.

If you later choose that you want to get back together with your ex than so be it!

[Michelle2987]

My first response to you, before I finished reading your paragraph was going to be that you were wrong, and how would you feel had he done that to you. Upon finishing your paragraph I've discovered that your husband more then likely has cheated on you, and probably still is. This could have come as revenge to you, but you weren't assuring your ex, that you guys were gonna be. Your husband had no rt, and no excuse to do such a disgusting thing, but on the other hand neither did you. You had no rt talking to your ex, and to cover yourself, the first thing you should have done was tell your husband. At least that's what I do to come across as if I've done nothing wrong, especially when in the back of your mind you really enjoyed talking to your ex. You got caught girl, but what he did is my no means equivalent unless of course you bang your ex. Go get you some, and who cares what people think bc you know deep down inside, your husband has screwed around on you

[AngelBleu2963]

Your marriage is not a game. If you betray your husband you will loose your marriage, your husband, your self respect and most likely whatever relationship you think you have with your ex. No one will trust you if you cheat and they'll have good reason not to. And all you'll feel is guilty, not satisfied.

I understand you're really hurting, but if you want your marriage to work you have to get your husband to work with you to mend your relationship. It sounds as if the two of you need some serious counseling. The trust has already been seriously damaged.

If you don't want your marriage anymore, and you need to seriously consider whether or not this is true, then you need to be upfront about this with your husband. It sounds as if maybe you've been keeping the back door open just in case you needed an exit strategy.

Be honest with yourself and decide what you really want. Then do the right thing for the right reason. But don't do something out of anger that you'll only regret later and can never take back.

[Baby8791]

I really believe that ex's are just there for the taking and not really to commit. If you are thinking of making a life with your ex I see it a little glimmie, but who knows. As far as your husband when he saw those text messages of course he thought you were cheating. Put yourself in is shoes. He does not trust you, even if you said you never cheated. People who cheat say they did not cheat. He thinks he is getting back at you. It's not right for him to get so involved with all that rubbish. I know that men like to watch that stuff and it's only natural that is in their nature. There websites not real woman, in a way he really has not cheated unless he walked out and physically went to see someone and engaged in a sensual situation. If you still want to see your ex it's your decision but I believe that you are just going to complicate your life. Why not concentrate in your current relationship and keep him busy so he won't have to go to those web sites. You know what I mean. He'll be glad you did.

Good Luck

[Marriage__Divorce1551]

Try not to make things much more harder than what it is now. It will get much worse and out of control. Its like pouring more gasoline into the already burning fire, out of control.

Edit: Every husband and wife in this world is very unique. U will never find a exact replacement of him or her. I have hangout/party out with other divorce/widow women and none come as close as to my wife, in being a very good woman. I am asking for tons of headaches [tons of problems]-its definitely not greener on the other side, at least for me its not. Life is hard as is! Try not to make the marriage any more harder, because the consequnces are far more terrible. :o(

[Allie]

I don't think two wrongs make a right. Why give him the satisfaction of knowing you did cheat, albeit after he already accused you but still, don't stoop to his level. I would leave and after you are divorced, hook up with your ex. Makes divorce proceedings much easier.