Tell her about her husband cheating?

[jamarti]

I've been having an affair with a coworker for the past four months. A year and a half ago we began the affair and it lasted for two months that time, during which his wife found out and he struggled with some moral decisions before eventually going back to her permanently. This time, as it's ending it's coming out that he was simply using me for his own amusement. Should I tell his wife what he's been doing the past four months? I think she deserves to know what kind of man she fought so hard to keep and it would be a nice little bit of revenge from me.1. There are no children involved and never will be because she's too selfish to ever want kids.2. There were emotional reasons behind the affair in the first place for both of us.3. The only reason she wanted him to stay (after she kicked him out and told him to never come back) was because she realized she'd look like a failure if her marriage failed and in her mind she's perfect and that couldn't happen to her.4. You're all right. I don't think I'm worth anything. But I also know that home was wrecked long before I came along.5. He's the only married man I have ever or would ever have anything to do with. I didn't seek him out. He sought me.6. If I could find a single man who was interested in me I'd be all about it. Unfortunately not ever woman has that luxury.

[KJ4897]

this is what happens when you fall for a married men.sure, let his wife know. let his wife know the kind of man she's married to.. let his wife know that it's the same loser that you fell for and maybe you two should start a 'loser club' together.

[dbrh_soto]

When you was all cozy with her husband, you didn't go to her then, now that he back with her, just let it go and start dating single men.

[tessa11982691]

Im sorry coming from a married woman , you are pathetic! just as much to blame as he is!! you knew he was married and continued on that path...I say let them deal with there problems and for you go find a SINGLE MAN not someone elses! If you do tell her I hope for your sake she wouldnt act as I would if you told me you were seeing my husband!!

[hova4077]

2 rights dont make a wrong sweetheart let him go straight up any guy to put a women in that type of distress isnt worth it pack up and move on theres plenty of dudes out there

[ac3527]

Why do you think you deserve revenge??? You're just as guilty as he is. You knew he was married yet you chose to disrespect not only his wife but yourself as well...put on your big girl panties and deal with it. Move on and stop fooling around with married men!

[wellbeing]

Don't do it for revenge. It sounds like you are drinking poison and hoping he'll die from it. Think about the wife's feelings. If you were the wife, would you want to know? If so, and if you care about HER, then do it, but if you could care less that you are ready to completely destroy her life, for no other reason than to get revenge on him, then that's pretty cruel for her to have to deal with.

[ChrisB1844]

No. you did something wrong and you knew it. dont ruin another life, out of something you were willing to do.he had an affair, which obviously means he did not want anything emotional with you. You knew that while you were doing it. He is married to her and she is married to him, let them deal with the demon they already have. Maybe they have many years of marriage, and he will never cheat again. you could ruin that out of your own hurt pride.you made a mistake to and need to accept it and move on.

[mrschristiebishop]

of course tell her ..she needs to know what kind of man she married..she doesnt need a man like that..and you desirve a little revenge but you need to think about his wife..and how hurt she would be..your not married and don't understand that..married men..have alot to do with an affair..but so do the women the can see the ring on there fingers..so your just going to keep being an amusement for men that are married till..you stop falling for them.

[SeanC8596]

So, becasue you fell for him and he denied you, you're going to further ruin his life?What did you honestly think was going to happen with you and this married guy?This is why affairs are not a good thing. Get over it, you screwed up, find a single guy and leave this ppor sap alone. He has enough problems. Just let it go.

[everchangingspirit]

It all sounds so deliciously vengeful, doesn't it?! The end result is not worth it for anyone.NO-you should not tell her anything. You should just leave the situation as it stands & let him dig his own grave.It is NOT your place to crush her world. She will figure him out again-eventually & when she does, she will decide how to best handle the situation.You should have comfort in the fact that your revenge will come the day he has to answer for his sins, my dear-nothing more. You are also wrong, because you continued to have an affairwith a married man, which makes you no better than he & it makes you a hipocrit. You would look like a fool to anyone to whom you would expose yourself. For instance, telling his wife what the two of you have been up to.Maybe she has her own agenda anyhow, & she already knows he is still cheating. You never know!

[donna_honeycutt476130]

If you told his Wife about this and hurt her, it would be "simply" because you are angry at "HIM", and just want to get back at him. You say his Wife found out about ya'll cheating before and ya'll started up again and now its ending. Do you think She would honestly believe YOU, the Woman whom She knows about him cheating with before..Move on with your Life, and learn from your Mistakes. Don't mess with Married Men...

[allisonb8493]

sure but you will always be the other woman cause you have no respect for yourself

[hopedplummer]

I can see why you would want to tell the wife because that is not a very good thing that the husband did to you. Nor was it a good thing for you to do to her if you knew they were married. It would not be necessarily wrong for you to say anything, but you would be doing it out of vengeance and I am sure it would hurt her alot more than it would hurt him. Has she done anything to you personally?

[puzzoo]

Forget him and date me, you might fit in my bed.

[ranchforman57]

Go ahead and tell, but you are not much of a woman for letting it happen in the first place. You must not think very much of your self.

[SparkS]

If you are trying to make her 'give up' and him to come back to you, you are mistaken. Men do cheat, but unfortunatly they return back to their wives for reasons: - family, money, (loans, houses, morgages, all complications) - and you doing the 'naughty happy girl' put yourself in second choice.....! why don't you just give up on him and find a man that is single, and you are the FIRST for him, and not a second choice. I feel sorry of what he's done to your heart, but i think you should prove him that you are a stronger person than him, and get on with your life without complicating yourself in his own dirt! Have you ever asked whether he has been cheating other girls as well as you behind his own wive's back???

[elizabeth_davis285748]

bow out gracefully and leave well enough alone

[makers]

YES! DO IT! that is so unfair to her if you dont. he deserves to be alone.

[SharonC8411]

Why ...... why would you want to hurt her any more then she already been hurt... this is her life... her husband...you need to stay away from other women 's husbands...yes ,,, he used you... what did you think he was doing... you allowed it... its your fault that you got played.... he has a wife and home.... you were just a booty call... be honest with yourself... please... go find someone that will love you .... pray that some woman out there won't be as stupid as you were... sorry to be so harsh.....you said ''... it would be nice to have a liitle revenge.... there is nothing nice that can come out of your situation...Good Luck!!!

[SandrineC]

apparently you are upset that he chosed HIS wife over you.you went back with him knowing that he was married.if you go to tell her(which she probably know)you are going to look like the desperate mistress that you are.the best revenge would be to move on,now if you tell his wife and she is leaving him because of the cheating,maybe he'll come back to you! in that scenario ,you probably deserve each other,2 loosers reunited....maybe it is time to do some growing up and get a man ON YOUR OWN......

[mezwood5242]

no you are a homewrecker and whatever hurt you got you definately deserved!

[TH]

His wife already knows the important part and that is that he cheated. What more does she REALLY need to know? She has made her choice to stay with him, and if you approach her and tell her things, what kind of a reception do you think you will get from her? Let it go, girl. Let him go. Otherwise you will be seen as a crazy person. You were used. Get over it and don't have affairs with married men.

[semoangel706475]

While I agree the man is a jerk for cheating on his wife again after she gave him a second chance but at the same time you were wrong for cheating with him the second time. This woman apparantly loves her husband and wants her marriage to work maybe for nothing more than their kids but she has her reasons. To go to her now and tell her you were once again having an affair with her husband might be revenge for you but it would hurt her and SHE is the innocent one in this story she didn't ask for her husband to be a jerk and if they have kids think about the impact on them. Drop it, don't wait for him to end it do it yourself and tell him there will not be a third time. Yes he was amusing himself because you made it easy for him to do it. His wife will find out on her own if he is having random affairs they always do and really do you want a man who you KNOW is a cheater, could you ever really trust him completely to not do the same thing to you. Further more if this woman wants him who is to say she wouldn't seek revenge against you for cheating with him. Let it go, learn a lesson from it and move on.

[waitingforbaby2461]

revenge on who the wife or the guydo what ever make you feel better, but I think you are worst than him, knowingly sleeping with a married man, you have either no self esteem or more stupid than Monica Lowinsky because if you did you would have never put yourself in the position to be use like.D id you really thing that you were going to be the next mrs of crouse he was using you that what cheater do so try to get over the emabarassement and move on if ever the wife dare to contact you (only if she does first ) then tell her but you should not calling her to tell her anything I think deep down inside she knows what she got and beleive me she might just regret getting him in the first place Good luck for the future & stay away from married man if the willing to cheat that mean they are losers

[JKW]

Dont tell her!! She would not believe it anyway. She would think you are only telling her this to break them up so you could have him. And, you wouldn't want him anyway, because if he is willing to cheat on his "wife" then you know he he would cheat on you as well.

[GrampsstillWiseS]

There's a name for women/men like you, but I can't say it here.

[flagger_guy8984]

You my dear are a fool.I think you have totally missed out on the lesson you should have learned the first time.If you are with a married man, you are BEING USED.You should internalize this lesson and go on through life firm in the conviction to never allow that to happen to you again.Forget about the revenge of telling his wife. He will explain it away as the rant of a jilted woman who is still carrying a torch.She will believe it because she will think that no woman is stupid enough to do this with him a SECOND time after he went back to her once.

[pussycat5442]

Hasn't she been hurt enough? Bet you were ready, willing and eager to resume the affair the second time. You made the choice to start it again and now you must live with that decision. Leave them both alone so they can start rebuilding their marriage without a third party involved. I know you are hurt and feel used, but no one put a gun to your head to see this married man; it was your choice. Learn from it and move on.

[foreveryoung]

Why the drama? Leave peacefully I would. You will show maturity and class doing it that way. It will make him feel worse than if you caused drama he will always wonder and worry if your gonna fess up to her. Let him live with the fear of it all. Thats a better pay back. And you learned a lesson to stay away from this loser.

[JenniferD6400]

If you are done with him then tell his wife.